Sock tans

Week starting Sep 09, 2018

Previous WeekRecent EntriesHomeJoin Fast Running Blog Community!PredictorHealthy RecipesSarah!'s RacesFind BlogsMileage BoardTop Ten Excuses for Missing a RunTop Ten Training MistakesDiscussion ForumRace Reports Send A Private MessageMonth ViewYear View
Graph View
Next Week
15% off for Fast Running Blog members at St. George Running Center!



Member Since:

Jun 21, 2011



Goal Type:


Running Accomplishments:

800m- 2:23

1600m- 5:10

1 Mile- 5:12


XC 3 mile-17:55

XC 5k- 19:00

XC 6k- 22:25

Local 5k- 18:42

Local 10k- 41:31

Local 15k- 1:03:55

Unofficial Half (2020)- 1:45:46

Official Half (2021)- 1:49:28

60% (5 miles)- 32:32 (6:30 average)

80% (3 miles)- 18:52 (6:17 average)

16x400s- 82.0 average

20x400s- 82.6 average

SUU Road Race- 23:30 (3.9 miles/6:02 average)

Short-Term Running Goals:

Get up to 45-50 miles/week

Run a sub-19:30 5k again

Train for and race a half marathon

Long-Term Running Goals:

18:45 or under 5k

Run a marathon


I graduated from East High School in 2015. I ran track and cross country for SUU the following year. In 2016 I served a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Independence, Missouri. I was honorably released from my mission due to severe depression. I returned to SUU in the fall of 2017, continuing in collegiate running as well. In the spring 2019 semester, I emergency withdrew due to suicidal ideation. I sought medical help including 11 ECT treatments at the University of Utah, then moved back to Cedar City for the summer to train for the next season at altitude. However, mid-summer my plans changed and I left SUU and my scholarships behind to transfer to BYU-Idaho. There I met a man that got a ring for me and promised me everything, all but officially proposing. Then I crashed mentally and had to be hospitalized for suicidal ideation, and he broke up with me while I was in the hospital. I was devastated. But somehow, I decided to fight for my life rather than to end it. I decided to give life another chance. I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder, and I decided to drop out of school for the time being and work full-time so I could pay off my medical bills. In January 2021 I decided to take classes online to finish my Associates degree through SUU while still working full-time. I graduated with my Associates in July 2021.

I'm hoping to go back to school probably at UVU in the spring. I just have to figure out what I'm going to study first. Right now I'm thinking either ASL interpreting, massage therapy, or accounting. All very different careers. 

Favorite Blogs:

Russian champion tries Crocs, commits to racing a marathon in them

Nikolay Chavkin in the video below did 3x1000, first two in Adidas carbon-fiber models, the last one in Crocs. Surprised by the result (2:52, 2:52, 2:50) with the fastest interval done in Crocs, he committed to racing a marathon in Crocs if the video gets 42K likes and 195 comments (for 42 km 195 m, the marathon distance). Nikolay's current marathon PR is 2:14:00. The video was created by a Russian sporting goods store chain. Their moto is "more sports - brighter life", which we think is wonderful, and also deserves a Like. If you want to see a fast marathon in Crocs, go to the video and click the Like button. And make sure to share it with your friends.

Miles:This week: 5.00 Month: 16.25 Year: 350.91
Adidas Distancestar Spikes Lifetime Miles: 3.00
Adidas Boston 7 Lifetime Miles: 430.33
Nike Pegasus 34 Lifetime Miles: 493.60
Nike Pegasus 34 II Lifetime Miles: 295.41
Nike Pegasus 36 Lifetime Miles: 480.43
Nike Pegasus 36 II Lifetime Miles: 319.00
Total Distance
Adidas Boston 6 V Miles: 37.25
Night Sleep Time: 15.00Nap Time: 2.00Total Sleep Time: 17.00
Total Distance

Thank goodness it was a 50% today because I felt awful. I wanted to curl up in a ball on the floor cause my cramps were bad. But it’s cool I finished. We did daisy loop and took Main to 300 W and back to the track, it was hot and 7:42 average was harder than it should’ve been. But Danielle and Jacey ended up either falling behind or turning early so it was just me, Ashley Hawks who was visiting today and Angie who is volunteering to help coach our group for a class, lol throwback to freshman year. It was fun though.

Adidas Boston 6 V Miles: 6.00
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance

Workout was 4x800s at 2:50-3:10 pace with a minute recovery between each. Paul said to start at 3:10 and work our way down. I would rather start fast because I feel like I can’t get my body to go faster after it gets used to a pace. Need to work on that I guess. 

Felt alright on the first one, started not feeling so great the second and the third was a struggle bus. 15 seconds before we were supposed to go, Paul asked if I’d be doing the fourth and I got ready to. He told me not to put my body through hell, that if I wasn’t feeling good I shouldn’t do the last one. In that split second I thought okay nope I’m not doing it, I knew it was just going to be painful and slow. It wouldn’t really benefit me. Instead I’d get down about being so slow and be frustrated with myself. 

Times were 3:00, 3:02, 3:21. Yikes. 

It was hot, as it always is at 4:00. Maybe that contributed to it. Plus my spirits weren’t so high today.

Anyways, feel bad about not finishing, but it was gonna be bad no matter what. I’d rather take a breather and come back and have a good workout when I’m feeling better. 

Adidas Boston 6 V Miles: 6.00
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance

50% today on Main, 8:09 average

Adidas Boston 6 V Miles: 6.00
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance

Mile warmup then started. Workout was originally going to be 8x400s on the track, Coach switched it over to the grass cause it was measured out and lowered it to 6 reps. I had a bad mentality going into it, I recognized that and tried to stay positive but man I was moody today. I never get angry but wow I was genuinely upset that we were doing it on the grass and not the track, and it was so windy and hot and I don’t know what was wrong with me today usually I don’t get that frustrated. Hormones probably. Just have to remind myself it was a bad day and move on and try to be more positive in the future.

First 3 were good, then started to drop, and then dropped real bad. This is becoming a pattern. Coach wanted us to hit 90 then get faster. Didn’t read out our times so that was strange but I had it on my watch. Times went 89, 88, 86, 91, 94, 99. It’s because I get stressed about being off and then just stress and stress and die. 

Cooled down a mile. Talked to Paul afterwards for a long time because I felt like I needed to. Paul is amazing, he’s such a great coach. There were a lot of takeaways from it. 

He told me that I seem like I’m always super stressed. He’s noticed in workouts that I physically start to show signs of stress, I hunch over, put my hands on my knees after reps, I have a look of distress on my face when I’m starting to fall off and then it’s exponentially worse because I keep stressing about it. And yeah, I do. I’ve realized that I take things almost too far. Like today, hit that 91 and thought well great, now I’m sucking and it hurts and this is hard and I wish we were on the track and I just couldn’t get out of my negative mentality. I told Paul he’s right, I need to just be reminded that it’s okay, that one bad workout or rep or anything isn't going to make or break anything. 

Honestly, I think that’s the difference from high school to now. In high school I wasn’t stressed about running. I did it for fun, out of enjoyment. Now I’m expected to run fast and stress out about it when I don’t. Paul said that I need to be more in the moment, stop stressing about the future and do what I can with what I’ve got right now. He reminded me that I am fast, that both he and Coach believe that I can break 5:00 in the mile. I think I’d given up hope of that. Paul said that I have shown, in some workouts, that I have that potential and that’s why I still have a scholarship. They believe that I can improve, they’re just trying to figure out what it is that’s holding me back. It might actually be just me stressing out about everything. Paul said, too, that I took a year off, that I dipped down and now I’m trying to climb. I gained weight on my mission, now I’m back to a healthy race weight. It’s been a process. 

I think for the first time, I’m starting to actually believe in myself again. I really had given up that hope, I became so stressed about being fast and being with the top girls that I’d forgotten it takes time. Even though I knew Coach had split us up into two groups to allow those of us at the back to have more attention, to get the coaching we needed as well, I never actually believed that. Part of me thought that coach just wanted to keep us separate because we weren’t fast enough or didn’t meet his expectations, and Paul’s insight about his side of coaching and everything was really valuable. He’d said that now that we’re in two groups, he’s able to be more positive and pay more attention to us in workouts, where before he was more stressed about taking down times, directing the 3 different groups at track practice and there were just too many people to coach at once that he couldn’t pay attention to those who needed help. And being in a smaller group allows for that. It’s more individualized, Paul is able to monitor us and help us in the best way he can. 

So now I feel a lot better. We talked about nutrition, getting enough sleep, and all that Jazz. And this time around, it’s not stressful. Paul said I need to just relax. So I need to stop looking at things as expectations and more as ways to improve. I’d kind of forgotten the whole “what you do today affects how you do tomorrow” sort of idea. I need to take each workout as more of an opportunity to practice working hard, to practice pushing through the pain and gritting it out, so that when the opportunity to race does arise I’m ready for it. It’s been hard for me to remember that practices are practice, they’re not races. Yes coach is evaluating us, but it’s to help us not to keep some standard. I really do need to just relax, have some fun, focus on working hard when I need to and not stress about position on the team or how coach views me or any of that. I just need to find joy in what I’m doing, work hard each day and whatever happens, happens. If I work hard now to fix the small things I can, I can start improving. 


Later went out for an easy 3.25. It felt so much better than earlier.

Another point Paul made was that this is a fun time of life. He said I’ll look back on it with mostly fond memories, sure some bad but mostly good. He said that life is always going to be stressful, that I should take it one day at a time. That you carry with you extra weight when you worry and stress. I just need to let it go, relax, breathe, and I’ll be fine. I’m getting my school paid for, I’m getting a degree, I shouldn’t stress so much. I really do think I just overthink things, take the worst case scenario and worry and worry about that, then eventually wind up there because I keep stressing out about it. 

Running has taught me so much. Paul and Coach have taught me so much. I love my sport

Adidas Boston 6 V Miles: 7.25
Night Sleep Time: 0.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 0.00
Add Comment
Total Distance

6 miles on Dikes. Now I’m stressed out about being stressed all the time haha. Might start doing some yoga to relax 

Adidas Boston 6 V Miles: 6.00
Night Sleep Time: 6.00Nap Time: 2.00Total Sleep Time: 8.00
Add Comment
Total Distance

Dikes + Canyon, 7:56 average

HR 48

Adidas Boston 6 V Miles: 6.00
Night Sleep Time: 9.00Nap Time: 0.00Total Sleep Time: 9.00
Add Comment
Total Distance
Adidas Boston 6 V Miles: 37.25
Night Sleep Time: 15.00Nap Time: 2.00Total Sleep Time: 17.00
Debt Reduction Calculator
Featured Announcements
Lone Faithfuls
(need a comment):