Patience; the new endurance sport.

I've put away the headlamp for the winter I think.  It was getting light by 6:20 so only 20 minutes in the dark.  I was pleased I wasn't sore, just a little stiff from the long run on Saturday. Although my run was cut short 2 miles, I had to be out the door by 7:30 today.  I was going to tuck 2 extra miles into the afternoon, but life prevailed and defeated this plan.  I really should just learn to run 2 miles in a suit at lunchtime and try not to sweat very much.  Because if it doesn't get done before 7, chances are high it's never going to happen.

8:54 ave (8:47/9:00/8:38/9:02/8:40/9:13/9:07/7:50).  I ran every other .10 fast, faster, fastest;  Then a slower mile after.  I struggled for air toward the 'faster'.  Mile 8 I just wanted to run strong, and 9:07's ok, but I wonder if I'll ever get back to my 10K ap 8:15.  Training on the sand last year for 10 days made running on pavement easy afterwards, it was good training. But the March cold, or my lingering bronchitis, or lack of mental agility for training this time of year is keeping me in the 8:40's. All negative thinking.  Thursday, I'll try to do a few faster quarters, and at least two solid faster miles.  Either that or I'll run the hills repeats near my work. Saturday, I'm going to go 20 up the canyon and end at South Fork (a 7 mile uphill end).  Last Saturday when I finished 18, all I could think about was "Ok, at Boston 17 is where the hills start and that's when you have to turn on the game."  But after 18 last Saturday I was ready to go lay down.  I really need some good uphill/speed work outs in the next 3 weeks.  Interesting thing while I was running today, different thoughts drifted through my mind, and I could feel whether the thoughts gave or sucked my energy. These were thoughts of people, work, situations and ideas that often cross my mind in a day.  But I could feel my physiological response to those thought as I was trying my hardest to run fast--pushing myself.  I considered this idea at during '09 St. George Marathon.  The thoughts I kept running through my head were single phrases, or faces of people who inspire, or things that were said to me that were encouraging.  Unless you’re running at your top speed and can feel the instantaneous draining of your energy--how many things in a day do we give our energy to that do not merit our energy?  How do we decide which things deserve our energy and which do not.  One thing is clear to me-- while I run, I need to stop thinking, clear my mind, and enjoy the absence of thought or keep only positive phrases/faces/inspiration handy as my only available.

For the sake of mixing things up, and because of construction on the trail, I chose to run around the neighborhoods and down a road I never go on for 2.5 miles.  I can't get on my trail for .4 miles because of the stupidly expensive and pointless bridge the city has decided to build, to connect a road no one uses, to have better access to the municiple airport that no one goes to.  I'm so glad they have raised my property taxes 4 years in a row.  Worth every penny!..... I swear I would not run ever if all I had were city streets & sidewalks every day.  This morning, I found myself resentfully sharing the road with ...gasp... Cars!   I  rely on running to be my quiet or alone time near the river & trees and emply trail.  But I'm especially cranky the past few days.  This morning was more bitterly cold than it's been in a few weeks (and windy). Also, I have to remind myself how cranky all this running makes me. When I'm tired I get really negative during the hardest 3 weeks of training. That plus my job is driving me to tears almost daily, my son's teacher is enough to make me consider yanking him out of school, and whenever it snows I can't get up the mountain (3 days in a row last week).  It adds to my overall sense of being locked inside-my-life-prison dutifully going through the motions of a responsible adult.  So if you see me running down your sidewalk, just move little to the side.  You don't want any of this.

9.33 miles/10:03 average

9:35/10:31/9:27/10:31/10:44/10:09/11:16/9:13/9:14/9:35

I ran 4  (.7 miles each) hill repeats.  So 2.8 of these miles was run at about a 20-30% incline (I ran a two loops of Foothill Drive and Quail Valley in Provo, one up to Eastlawn cemetary and one more of foothill). I warmed up about a mile and stared up the first hill.  Felt good, downhill hurt and I couldn't let go of my snail pace.  It was the same for every repeat. Up those hills I just leaned forward and hardly moved my feet. After I was done with the big uphills, I ran the rest on rolling hills, and downhill to get back to my office, where I bathed in a handsink and went back to my desk to finish two grant requests.  I'm going to finish my 20 miler on Saturday with those 2 hills.  The idea of running even rolling hills at mile 17 is killing me.  My legs are sooooo sore right now.

10:03 ave.  I ran a bit with an old pal in the neighborhood. She ran Boston in 1989 and is now in her mid 60's.  She's still active but walk-jogs so I took advantage to run a slow slow recovery run.  My calves and knees are sore from what I did to them yesterday.  I think I might even need a massage.  I never come away from a run with sore muscles ever.  I may be tired, but unless I'm racing, I never have soreness.  But I am sore today.  My butt is sore, my calves are sore.  I could have crawled this run.  My legs felt like lead.  

This was a lonely run.  I was tired, Catherine was doing her daughter's birthday party.  It was cold, windy, and started to rain during the hardest, uphill portion of my run.  I may have overdone it with 16 today.  My legs are literally thrashed.  Next week my sis comes from DC and we're going to Moab.  We'll hike and eat and shop and talk.  I just don't know how the half marathon will go.  This will be my 7th year at this race.  I love the first 10 miles of the course--nothing in the world compares to that canyon and the river.  But I am tired, so tired.  I feel like I never want to run again.