Believe to Achieve

Ran a very short warm up and just tried to get out the cobwebs.  Joints achy but couldn't take it any longer so picked it up.  Ran my 5K course at moderate speed.  First mile 7:28.  Next two faster to average for 5K a 7:17pace (22:36).  Cooled down with 2.5 miles.  Stretched, meditated.  Average pace for 5.95= 7:52.  Got to take 11 year old to the dr.  She has had chronic sinus congestion, itchy eyes and cough, no fever for over a month now it is getting ridiculous.  Antibiotics didn't help, I think she is allergic to a few things like her mother.  I looked into her nose and I see a large "polyp" blocking her right nare!!!!  And two other swellings in there.  Poor thing.  I am not excited about all the tests that will probably be done for her and hopefully a steroid treatment/antifungal.   Looking up about polyps they can be brought on by an allergic reaction to airborne fungi.  Gross considering all the pools she has swam in that swarm with mold!! 

Wake me up afternoon run at 420pm up on Cedar Hills Trail starting at my girls new dance academy Avondale. Ran north to golf course ending and back, continuing south to Deerfield Elem. Took it easy, no music, just surrounding breeze sounds and meditation. Average pace 8:28. Work tonight, again, then off for three nights and work again the night of the half marathon (meaning after I run it).

Continued from yesterday....I got the crappiest of sleep.  My brain was already changing to the night life, but I had this hangover headache and irritable mood that I knew I couldn't hang out like this....got about 5 hours of broken sleep, even ate a bowl of cereal around 3am.  I decided to still run and see if eventually exercise would put me into stage 3 then REM sleep.  Of course not while running, but I do close my eyes at times and feel a slight drift in that direction.  I did a warm up 1.82 miles up to the canal.  First mile 8:43  to the canal average pace was 9:12 and that is at a steep incline.  I thought I was going slower.  Apparently lack of sleep (I read an inservice on sleep deprivation at work Mon. night) increases perceived exertion.  A no brainer.  But Non rem sleep, stage 3 is the most restorative hormonally and REM sleep helps with calming emotions as you dream your stresses away.  Both types I am rarely getting lately.  Back to the workout.  Like I said most of my runs are impromtu but I wanted to check my speed although speedwork and no sleep is not good Sasha told me.  Oh well.  I survived Bryce that way.  So I continued south on the canal to Battlecreek and ran the first mile of the Strawberries 5K speedily.  Had quite the spectator section (everyone being dropped off at PG High), loads of traffic but I focused and swerved when and where I wanted.  I was surprised to see my time of  6:03 (three days before Bryce it was 6:12).  I felt much like a drunk runner, out of body-like experience, head pounding but body wobbling.  It actually felt easy cause I was numb to any physical pain except the head throbbing.  Ran another slow mile then ran the last mile to my house in 6:40 (half uphill).  I really felt a nap need strongly during that part, my head couldn't convince my body to go faster.  Ran a cool down 1.59 miles at 8:52.  Average pace for all 8:  8:19.  About to lay down for nap, since that is the highlight of my message I am writing to you all.  Sleep necessary for survival.  Hope the two fast miles pay off for Saturday.  Yikes, maybe it was too much?  I no longer know.  I am rambling (see told you I am "drunk")

 I wanted to DNS, but I am not that sane.  Sleep deprivation runs are just getting out of hand.  Yesterday my dr's office called to tell me my estrogen level is menopausal (last year when I wasn't running much it was unreadable), and hence the reason for the insomnia, night sweats, extreme irritability, depression, fatigue, lack of cognition, you name it, I am a match for the list.  I tried regular estrogen last year and was way worse, I just bought some natural estrogen but still have more blood tests to take to figure it all out.  It is genetic, following my mom who was 35.  My symptoms began at 35.  Anyway, I will pull my head out after a depressive episode at the start, like the later it got the more fatigued I got.  Two gus before the start any sugar to jump start my brain.  The noise around me was blaring in my brain I couldn't wait to get it over, go home and knock myself out.  Very surreal.  On the positive side I PRed (told you miracles happen, plus I am strong willed).  Melanie and Kim were going to do sixes the first half so I was going to hang back.  They like to toe the line which  I don't cause then I get passed and don't do a lot of passing.  I started next to them because I don't have good judgment right now and it just didn't matter to me.  I knew they would do great as I couldn't even hang with them in long runs.  I am so proud of my coachees : D    Here are my splits, ipod blasting in my ears, it is just me, my ipod and 13.1 miles of winding road:

1--  6:02   Hello,  I could see Melanie and Kim a ways off so I thought they were the ones with the six minute mile.  Slow down.

2--6:29  

3--6:42    I missed the third mile mark and hit my watch after the station so this mile is faster next mile really slower. Tried to take a bite of cytomax gel vanilla (Kim had some) just before this mile (never tried it before), gagged after one taste, no more and just tossed all of them at mile 6.5.  So no gu for the race.  Couldn't find the brand (GU) I liked yesterday.  Cliff gels are pretty nasty too.  Thought I would try to see if mile 6.5  had some great brand..

4--5:56 (6:19 average for miles 3 and 4)

5--6:46

6--6:44  (mentally gearing up for the challenging ending)  6.5 mile station had these oddly tasting but better than cytomax gel.  Took one half and kept on going.  Yelled out to some guy who was peeing at the sideline:  "wish I had that plumbing?"  Haven't lost my sense of humor at least.  He passed me 300 yards later.

7--6:51  Did I just run that uphill with some speed? 

8--6:45  Hey how did that happen, the more mentally challenging miles ahead.

9-- 7:01  Perfume girl (sorry whoever you are, but  please lose the perfume), passes me but not speedily, she stops  two times passes me three times keeping the perfume in my brain the last 4 miles.  My left side of my face starts to twitch.  My breathing is laboring.  I try to surge ahead to get her behind me but we yo yo each other to the finish when I pass her

10--6:54  This is after I pass her again and feel some energy.

11--7:38  She passes me just after the water station before the big hill.  I can't run by her so I slow way down and to left of her.

12--7:07  She is a good distance a way that I am able to catch my breath.  I ran in to the water table at this speed practically knocking over the little girls.  I wanted two waters and both girls were handing them out one stepping out in front of me so boom into the water table I crash.  They are so sweet to be there.  I am not mad, hey I am drunk how can I be?  By drunk I mean sleep deprived, the same as three alcoholic drinks, so I am told.  I was probably the cause of the crash.

12.1---  42.6 seconds (7:05 pace).  Here there is a sign that says one mile to go.  Since I don't have a garmin I push my lap button here to know how long I have for the last mile.

13.1---7:02.  I decide to catch my lovely smelling friend, I pass her at just before the .1 mile to go sign.  Her chip time however puts her a head of me, Oh well she is in her 20s. 

The best part about this run is meeting Peggy Peterson for the first time.  We didn't get to chat long.  But so glad to finally meet her.  After that I walked around in a daze just hoping Melanie and Kim were ready to leave soon.  They ran so well so of course they would like to chat for a while.  Some day...when I no longer work nights I will be there with them.  Perhaps in the next life.  Or maybe I will surprise myself at SGM.

Pre-race notes at 440am.  Only a miracle and strong will (working on that) will get me thru this as insomnia to the nth degree has been a stumbling block that I am battling with all defenses.  I tried to go to bed at 9pm, just couldn't fall asleep.  Didn't want to take the only thing that hit or miss works for me (xanax) because if I don't sleep it puts me into a fatigue state.  So....I layed awake all night  I AM NOT KIDDING, I MEAN REALLY NO SLEEP WHATSOEVER.  Worse than Bryce but at least I am not in a tent and worse than my first marathon in 1995.  I almost lost it a 3am so frustrated.  I turned on the fan I turned off the fan.  I opened the windows I shut the windows.  I ate ice cream I drank water.  I counted sheep (no kidding), I watched a bit of Notting Hill (3am), the end of How to Lose a Guy in 10 days (that was at 9 pm).  It is as if I am somehow converted to being up at night from my three night shifts a week.  I was extremely tired today at 10am, like drop dead tired, but I was out grocery shopping with Troy and thought I should stay up so I could sleep better tonight.  Big mistake.  PRAY for a miracle because I am having thoughts of a DNS (but you don't get your finsher shirt that way).  If I do a DNF I might as well have DNS so I could watch the awesome speedy finish.  I am right now going to hard delete my current sadness/frustration and try once again to get that rabbit out of the hat, the longer the minutes pass however the more "real" tired I get.  Right now I am keyed up.  Mostly to do with work, not helping that I have a big race in  two hours.  And work tonight.  Miracles do happen : D  Off I go to pick up Kim and Melanie, oh I better get dressed first : D