Of Mice and Marathons

Off.

Slept late as I was up until I think 2:30 when I had to excuse myself and go to bed. Just hung out at the house for a little while. It was very warm in Maine for October and felt great. Could have probably run but couldn't be bothered. We went to see my Dad. My siblings were there. He's coherent but not eating or drinking anything and they stopped the feeding tube and antibiotics. He was really happy to see me as I knew he would be. 

We went to my niece's soccer game after, which was fun and super beautiful with a gift of October weather. I hadn't eaten anything all day, so I was happen when we had a very late lunch/very early dinner. Went to by borther's house and then went to my mom's house. Imbibed a far amount that day and put myself to bed around 10. 

It's been very quiet at my mom's house. Dad not there, people not just showing up here and there as is typical, and my siblings were never at her house with me, so it was all very odd and strangely lonely, even though I got to spend a lot of time with my mom alone for the first time in a very long time.

Off.

Hung out with Mom in the morning. We went to see dad late morning and had lunch at Damon's and headed to Hampden Beach area in New Hampshire as my Mom had a hotel she booked to stay with my dad and she booked my flight for Tuesday. I really wan't sure how long I was going to be there and it was shorter than I expected, but I was also anxious to be back to see the boys and figured I had done what I came to do. Mom and I walked on the beach a bit. There were some young women in bikinis on October 2 in New England, which doesn't happen often. They even went swimming. 

We got to the hotel and I Facetimed with Megan and the boys. I needed to see them. Definitely the longest I have been away from the boys, second to when I broke my elbow, which I think was around 12 hours or so.

Off.

Mom took me to the airport. Flights mostly went fine with some slight delays, but I had a layover in Newark anyway. Pretty tired when I got home, but it felt so good to see the boys.

AM: 7.4 miles, averaged 8:49. HR 152.

Very anxious on waking. Wasn't sure I was going to be too functionaly and wanted to go back to bed, so I did for a while when the boys were at their friend's and then went running. It was tough going but it was warm and beautiful out. Took a nap, which helped. Hung out with the boys in the afternoon and took them to the middle school. They weren't interested in watching the football game and I guess I wasn't really either.

AM: 7.5 miles, averaged 8:38. HR 149.

Felt a good bit better today. Still felt tired and kind of off balance. Tried to eat a lot more the last few days as I know that hasn't helped. It poured at times on the run. 

PM: 90' on the trainer (Phoenix -3). 211W. HR 138.

It was still raining a good deal and I didn't feel like running in the rain again, so I did a trainer ride. Forgot how spooky one of the season 11 episodes of the Walking Dead was. I actually started looking over my shoulder. 

Felt a good deal better after this. Focused on rest, hydration, nutrition, and positive thinking today. The boys seem like they had a good day at school.

AM: 7.7 miles, averaged 8:30. HR 152.

Weather much nicer than yesterday. Dad is being transfered to hospice.

PM: 4.5 miles, averaged 10:04. HR 136.

HR a little elevated. Felt like I had congestion I couldn't clear and my breathing was difficult. Low on energy. Tried to eat a fair amount after I picked the boys up from school. Been slightly off balance here and there, so I have been trying to hydrate well.

Dad officially moved to hospice.

PM: 14.8 miles, averaged 8:08. HR 165.

120' w/ 60' @ half marathon effort + 10"

Sawyer was stirring early and I got him up and put him in the guest bed with me and we fell back asleep until 7:30. Charlie was stirring for I don't know how long. Needed the sleep. Had a decent day mentally but I had some challenging moments with mood swings, but tried to practice some claming thinking and did fairly well. Took the boys to the fire station for a kids event. They were extremely excited, which made me happy.

I wasn't sure how the workout would go. I was tired and still trying to get my energy levels and balance back. The weather was cold and rain showers would come through and I did not want to run, but it has been three weeks without a long run. I'm not quite sure how I managed but it turned out well. Three weeks ago I did 50' at this effort and I ran just under 7:30 pace. I thought 7:30 pace might be extremely difficult given how I have felt mentally and physically and trying to make sure I am eating. 

During the warmup my HR was elevated and almost pulled the plug, but just kind of figured I would see. Turned out as soon as I started the workout I felt very good. Not great, but we will call it great compared to how I had felt and how I thought I would feel. Rained here and there and it was windy in places. 

7:16 averaged @ 175 BPM. 

My HR got into the upper 180s toward the end but my breathing was solid, so I ignored it. Sometimes when I cross into the 180s I am started to really breathe and the upper 180s I am gasping. It has taken me almost 13 years of running and 5 or so years of cycling to fully realize that HR doesn't always match breathing. Usually it does, but not necessarily (just ask a Ironman athlete who can be all out basically at 140-150 BPM). 

PM: 180' on the trainer. 191W. HR 133.

Energy levels fluctuated a bit.

Lunch: 6.1 miles, averaged 10:44. HR 130. 

Cold worsened some, but I was not in the mood to take a day off. Still trying to get energy levels up. Weight is down, which is good, but I am also trying to get rehydrated after my trip to Maine.

I fully expect my dad to pass tonight or tomorrow morning from the sounds of things. 

PM: 4.2 miles, averaged 10:46. HR 130.

PM: 60' on the trainer. 201W. HR 133.

Cold about the same. Should take a day or two off but I need this mentally right now. Had a pretty good day with the boys. We watched a lot of TV but they are sick and I had to dig into some of my school work.

My Dad passed away at 10:30 in the morning. 

Lunch: 6.6 miles, averaged 9:59. HR 140.

Didn't get out of bed to run before class. Did not really feel like getting out of bed at all, but with two cancelled classes and perhaps an additional one in the next week or two, I figured I need to go.

Cold is maybe a little worse, not terrible. Decided once again not to take a day off. HR was probably 10-15 BPM high if not more. Might get back out later or more likely ride the trainer.

PM: 4.4 miles, averaged 10:14. HR 136. 

PM: 7.5 miles, averaged 8:45. HR 150.

HR still a bit elevated but looking a bit better.

PM: 150' on the trainer. 229W. HR 147.

I was going to run but didn't feel like it. Needed some saddle time this week and just needed to stay inside and out of the rain and cold. 

Looks like we are driving to Maine. It was $3000 for four of us to fly. 

The boys turned 3 today. We had a pretty good day overall I think. Had pizza, which they finally have realized they like, cake, and presents. Facetimed with my family. 

PM: 180' on the trainer. 216W. HR 142.

More cramming for Ice Man. We leave very early on Thursday and won't be back until Monday, so I wanted to get some longer rides in. These have helped break up my congestion, though are no doubt prolonging my cold.

PM: 3 hours on the fat bike. 174W. HR 144.

I was going to do an easy 2 hour run, but just haven't felt like it. I feel like riding is easier on the system when you are trying to get over an illness, but maybe not when you are riding for three hours. 

Mostly at Orion Oaks. Did some of the trails that bisect the main merimeter trail, then back to the Polly Ann and some of the dirt roads, which would be in fantastic shape if it ever stopped raining. 

Went through the south side of Bald Mountain South a crashed on a small wooden bridge. Just slid out and went down. Got out of it relatively without harm. Bike seemed okay. I was able to ride the 30' or so home. 

It's been a hell of a week with Dad passing Monday, the boys' birthday on Friday, this morning I talked to them about death, and then crashing. Nothing quite like a good crash to wake you up I suppose. 

Lunch: 7 miles, averaged 9:20. HR 137.

A little sore from crashing, but overall fine. Quads were sore, but I think that was from the hill climbs. Did take some sort of direct hit to the right quad, but it feels fine. Sluggish and still sick. Just kept it sensibly easy.

PM: 5.3 miles, averaged 8:29. HR 147.

Felt suprisingly very good, running in the lowish 8s for a few miles without too much effort. Breathing and HR much better. Snuck in a quick nap before getting a hair cut and picking up my new glasses.

PM: 70' on the trainer w/ 60' @ 240W. HR 152.

Didn't feel like running and needed to burn off some stress and anxiety. This worked okay. I went back to bed after Megan took the boys to the dentist. Usually Tuesdays are my full day with them. I slept for a bit while they napped too. Quite exhauted. Decent energy on the ride and cold is continuing to lift thankfully. 

Lunch: 7.8 miles, averaged 8:23. HR 155.

Beautiful day, but I just felt awful mentally and physically. Just very unwell mentally. I needed the run to help and it didn't for the most part. Felt a bit better after. 

PM: 7.5 miles, averaged 8:38. HR 152.

Felt a good deal better. HR looked better. 

Headed to Maine at about 4 AM tomorrow. Stayed up late trying to get stuff done and fell alseep on the couch.

Off.

Drove to Maine. We started around 4:00 AM, and the boys and me went back to sleep until some time beyond Cleveland. Had a decent day of travel and got in a bit before 10. The boys did an awesome job. Charlie started looking for my Dad. He was kind of stretching his neck and looking over the balcony and into my dad's chair, obviously looking for him but not saying anything or asking about him. Stayed up too late drinking with my Mom. 

Off. 

Dad's grave side service and celebration of life. Very odd day. It was like being in a movie I guess. Managed to laugh and cry a bit at the grave side service. The boys were running around after and Sawyer fell in the grave, which thankfully was a cremation grave and Dad's box was already in the ground so it was only about a foot deep maybe. Still, it scared and embarrasssed him. 

The celebration of life was good. Got to see people I hadn't see in a while. Not a ton of my friends growing up, actually only one. I talked to people the whole time, which was good as it kept me from getting a drink until quite late, but I also didn't end up eating anything and had drinks earlier in the day. Went to be by 9:15 or so I think.

Off.

Went to my sister's to show the boys some of their farm animals and got on the road. Stayed in Utica, NY. Had a wildly anxious and up and down day. The boys enjoyed the hotel as they tend to and I got to bed pretty early and they slept a decent amount. In fact they slept in both mornings in Maine, which was welcomed. It was all a lot for them to process I think.

Off.

Travel back to Michigan. Boys did great. Mentally much more stable for me and was able to drive at least for a bit. 

Lunch: 7.6 miles, averaged 8:36. HR 159.

HR very elevated but I just moved along. I was feeling terribly mentally despite having a pretty good morning. Just wanted to get home and lie in bed before picking the boys up from school, which is what I did. 

PM: 4.2 miles, averaged 10:48. HR 133.

Nice evening to run, did some thinking, got some things sorted out I think. Hoping to get to bed at a decent hour and start working on getting caught up on lots of quality sleep.

PM: 60' on the trainer. 192W. HR 132.

An okay day with the boys. They were pretty good, I was not super patient at the end of the day. I am worn out. I skipped jumping on the trainer while they napped because I needed to rest myself. We did play outside for about 2 hours as it was unseasonably warm. 

Mentally an okay day. Just some rapid mood shifts. 

Lunch: 7.6 miles, averaged 8:37. HR 155.

Couldn't seem to relax much. Many moods. Got through it. Quite lovely fall weather. 

I canceled in-person instruction for Lawrence Tech last night. I decided I needed a day, which really meant I did other work, but it did me some good. I slept until 9:00 and had a nap as well. 

PM: 60' on the trainer. 230W. HR159.

4 x 8'

Impromptu interval session. Not really much of a workout as I made the warmup and cool down way too short and the recoveries to high an intensity, but it fit the time I had.

289 watts @ 166 BPM; 288 watts @ 170 BPM; 290 watts @ 172 BPM; 296 watts 175 BPM

Chest actually felt a bit tight on this one like my heart was just tired as has happened on several runs recently. Feels like when I get anxious, but I am not sure I have felt it during exercise. 

Lunch: 6.3 miles, averaged 10:23. HR 137.

Warm. HR seemed a bit elevated still, but it was solidly in the upper 60s and humid, so that played a part I suppose. 2-3 weeks ago that HR would have been around 9:15-9:20 pace I think. Stuff varies, just trying to isolate different factors.

PM: 60' on the trainer. 134W. HR 115.

Easy recovery. Those rewatches of The Walking Dead gun scenes really hit different when 18 people from you home state were slaughtered the night before. Lewiston is about 45 minutes from my Mom's house.

AM: 7.6 miles, averaged 8:34. HR 154.

Aerobic progression. Very warm and humid, almost 70 degrees. HR was quite high, chest was tight. Mentally pretty solid, but still needs some improvement. 

PM: 4.4 miles, averaged 9:23. HR 148. 

Very warm. Borderline hot. Kind of anxious, but I think I was worried about getting home to make sure I got the boys on time.

I foget what shoes I ran in.

We went to a Halloween walk thing at Canterbury Village with the boys. It was fun. 

AM/lunch: 122' on the trainer. 228W. HR 146.

Good steady effort. Riding power to heart rate looks about normal. I was going to get my long run in, but just didn't feel like it. Just haven't been able to mentally zone out tune in on my runs the last ten days to two weeks or whatever it has been.

We took the boys to Blake's Cider Mill. It was chilly, very much the opposite of yesterday and last night. Lots of stuff for kids. 

PM: 120' on the trainer, including a ~60' Zwift race.

Decided against a long run once again, but thought a race might get me in the mood for racing bike next weeked and lacing up my running shoes to do a running race for the first time since 2018 the weekend after. Worked quite well. Put down a decent effort. 

64' @ 275 watts @ 165 BPM

Lunch: 8 miles, averaged 8:09. HR 151.

Legs were not snappy but they moved quite well. I haven't run low 8s without too much effort for a long time. Honest easy for sure, but within the easy to moderate zone. A few sub-8s as well. 

Night: 4.4 miles, averaged 10:11. HR 133. 

Picked my bike up from the shop. It needed a bunch of parts replaced, which was not cheap: $650, but I was worried that the frame might have been cracked or something when they told me to call. I took the boys in after picking them up from school, which was interesting. They were having fun until they weren't.

Lunch: 1:45 on the trainer while the boys napped. 189W. HR 128.

Mostly easy but 5' hard toward the end. I think it was 346 watts.

The boys had a good Halloween I think. It started to snow and got cold, so we cut our trick or treating short, but I think they had fun. They were definitely more excited and got the concept this year. Ended up with a ground covering of snow. TFE!