Of Mice and Marathons

PM: 2 hours 14'. 154W. HR 135.

Testing out some Maurten 320. It's a lot of carbs in 16 oz. Think it is the ticket for bike racing. Easier than getting in gels, but I will take those too. Signed up for the Cow Pie Classic long haul course. This will be my first race since breaking my elbow in August. 

AM/Lunch: 7 miles, averaged 10:07. HR 141.

Respected the heat and air quality and won out. Tried a few new roads.

Off.

Started to feel off this day. Anxiety increased. Just kind of comes out of nowhere. The next 4-5 days were pretty rough, with one day being absolutely brutal.

Off.

Anxious. This day or Saturday we were going to try to get the boys in the stroller to see if they would cooperate, but I was in such a state of anxiety I coudn't get the chuck to work to air up the tires.

PM: 6.8 miles, averaged 9:35. HR 148.

5 x 20" strides. Rested in the morning in bed to lessen the anxiety and squeezed this in even though it was my time to be with the boys. 

PM: 3 hours 4'. 164W. HR 134.

5 x 5' (3')

Tried a shorter but more intense inteveral session for race week. Want them to be around 340-350, but I haven't been able to eat much, so I think that was part of why I was a little weaker. Averaged 332 watts. HR was not that high but breathing was tough. 

AM: 3.3 miles, averaged 10:43. HR 128.

Felt absolutely awful and shut it down. My body and legs felt as if I couldn't move. Not enough calories. Wobbled down our street a little bit and was a bit dizzy. I think this was the day/afternoon my anxiety was absolutely brutal. I worked through it but was almost not able to function. Stuttering and shaking.

PM: 2 hours 7'. 176W. HR 148.

Air quality has been absolutely awful but I went outside anyway. Did 2 x 10' at race effort and then a 5' at race effort because I went down a road that hit a busy highway. Called it mostly good from there. Did attack a 2' segment and came close, but was still 3 seconds off. Felt pretty good after my ride. The boys sang happy birthday to my mother, which was a good memory.

AM: 6.7 miles, averaged 9:48. HR 147.

Air quality was absolutely awful. Probably should have stayed inside the last two days and not had the boys outside, but they really love being outside right now. Felt decent today. Starting to feel a good bit better. Forcing myself to eat. I think part of the issue is I have been nervous about the race, but also very anxious about our Maine trip next week. Dad's health is getting worse and everything is challanging right now. Fortunately, I am off for the summer other than an online class in July/August, which I am very thankful for.

COW PIE CLASSIC (Long Haul)

AM: 3 hours 51'. 188W. HR 166.

Should have written this one up sooner. I can see now (June 29) that this was the stop of my blog entries. Had some issues the weekend before with stress and anxiety and not able to eat much early in the day, but got some sessions in during the week and felt tired but okay. I was very nervous about this race and was tempted not to ride, but decided I was just a little gun shy about racing since I broke my elbow in August. 

I was out of my mind with anxiety the morning of, tried to settle down and was generally very confused but told myself it was just race nerves. Warmed up a bit and felt better. Got to the start line but it was already packed and my race and wave went off and I didn't realize it was first, so I moved through the corral with my bike and really embarrassed myself (easier to do in a running race for sure) and I am sure my teammates saw me as the kit and bike are pretty loud. 

Started chasing whoever I could find, just wondering if I should call it a day as I was in such a mental rut and escalated selfdoubt and criticism I wasn't sure if I should be riding my bike. Tried to press to my goal pace and met up with some people but throughout the race no one wanted to work together, so I was smoked by 30 miles and spent a long time in what was easily one of the worst death marches I have ever completed. There's no much to do on rural dirt roads to get home, other than call sag or be in an ambulance as I did last time. 

There were some farm sections, which were sandy and challenging but pretty cool. Finished the race after trading some jokes with a guy the last few miles. Looked for food and water, but struggled. I was very confused and tired and slightly ill (nowhere near as bad as Boston 2014 though). 

I did a lot wrong in the week leading up to this race. I think I started to be anxious about my performance, but also impending travel to Maine and my dad's health decline. He's having a lot of trouble walking. Comes in ups and downs. Just wish my mother wasn't his primary caregiver. 

Took a while to reflect and wonder if bike racing is for me, especially since my running is (and is supposed to be) picking back up. I enjoy riding bikes and I do like race them, I just have a lot to work on. Bad races happen, but this was just a perfect storm of crap. Not sure if I will do Watermoo as I did last year, which I throughly enjoyed and was one of my most memorable bike races. Just going to be hard with the summer session. I'm okay with that even though I wanted to make it a yearly thing. 

Off.

I wasn't feeling it. This was around the time the first round of air quality warnings started I think. 

AM: 3.8 miles, averaged 9:15. HR 143.

Short run as I was short on time. Can't remmeber why.

Lunch: 60' on the trainer. 215W. HR 146.

Jumped on the trainer while the boys napped after getting some fluids and a snack. quite sweaty on the run and tired. Felt okay on the trainer.

Off.

Don't recall the reason. Air quality not great, but not as bad as it ended up being at the end of this month.

PM: 120' on the trainer. 197W. HR 138.

Felt pretty decent. Stayed inside as the air is making me cough.

PM: 6.6 miles, averaged 9:53. HR 145.

Air was rough, but I took it slow. Felt generally pretty decent. Travel to Maine tomorrow. Excited to see my family but very anxious as I always am with travel, especially with the boys. We ended up driving as ticket prices are nuts right now,

Off.

We got a decent start to the day and the boys were really good in the car. We ended up driving all the way to Mass, which is a PR with them. Usually we stop of on I-90 somewhere between Buffalo and Albany. We got out fairly far and we weren't fiding much for hotels right off the highway. Boys went to bed at 12:30 AM I think, but they had slept a little bit later in the day in the car. I didn't even both with the Pack n' Plays. They were a bit animated, but we turned the lights out and they settle right down. We managed to put ourselves under 4 hours out for a 15 hour driving trip, which set us up well for the second day.

Off.

Got into Maine in the early afternoon. Hung out with family. Dad's mobility has declined a good deal.

AM/Lunch: 6.7 miles, averaged 9:39. HR 151. 

Felt awful. Dehydrated and a mild cold I have had for probably two weeks. Was really trying to get off my current mode of not running while visiting my parents. Avoided the 0 one day, but this was it. Thought running would make me feel better, but it didn't. 

Off.

Don't recall what we did this day. Need to keep up with the blog when we travel.

Off. 

Off.

I think this was the day we went to Duncan's soccer game. Saw a goal scored on a corner off a headed. It was pretty impressive.

Off.

Our 9th anniversary. We went to dinner at Slates. My siblings nicely took the boys fishing and took care of them. This is perhaps the second or third time we have had a dinner out without the boys. 

Off.

Travel day. Stopped somewhere in New York. Slept a good bit in the car. Exhausted. 

Off.

Back to Michigan at a decent hour. Pretty exhausted and anxious. The boys did well. 

Off. 

Mentally an okay day. Megan went to see friends, so I had the boys for a good bit in the afternoon and evening. The power surged and knocked out the fridge, which is a 2007. The ice flapper was opening and closing and a light going in and out, so I ripped that out. 

Off.

Slept in a little and layed in bed and then went to the Home Depot for coolers and ice as the fridge stopped working completely. Pretty anxious day, but I was able to use the energy somewhat productively.

PM: 60' on the trainer. 130W. HR 119.

Kept it easy and felt okay. Mentally what I needed. 

AM: 120' on the trainer. 153W. HR 125.

Felt pretty dang good. Kept it quite easy. I think this was the day we took the boys to the Home Depot to pick out a new fridge. I was pretty anxious, but primarily because it's not a great store for young kids.

PM: 120' on the trainer. 170W. HR 140.

Felt quite good. Did easy/steady alternating laps of one of the London courses. Signed up for a Planet Fitness membership, which I had for 4-5 years before COVID. Air quality is still garbage and I need another inside option. Lifetime Fitness made it practically impossible to get ahold of anyone to schedule a tour and trial pass. Just thought I would try something different. Signed up for Planet Fitness online, downloaded the app, and was ready to go for the next day. A very tough model to beat. It's at the mall, so I worried it would be busy (it turns out it is NOT).

AM: 90' on the treadmill. HR 158.

Checked in at Planet Fitness, got a read on the setup and found a well-positioned treadmill. Going to work out just fine I think. Picked up some Shokz earphones a few days ago and just listened in Jason Isbell (pretty much all I listen to the last 3 years or so). Kept going because I wasn't sure how busy it might be on a Saturday morning. Turns out it's not. Who goes to a gym at the largest outlet mall in Michigan? 

Breathing felt easier than the HR would suggest. Air quality still not great, but supposed to improve over the next few days.