COW PIE CLASSIC (Long Haul)
AM: 3 hours 51'. 188W. HR 166.
Should have written this one up sooner. I can see now (June 29) that this was the stop of my blog entries. Had some issues the weekend before with stress and anxiety and not able to eat much early in the day, but got some sessions in during the week and felt tired but okay. I was very nervous about this race and was tempted not to ride, but decided I was just a little gun shy about racing since I broke my elbow in August.
I was out of my mind with anxiety the morning of, tried to settle down and was generally very confused but told myself it was just race nerves. Warmed up a bit and felt better. Got to the start line but it was already packed and my race and wave went off and I didn't realize it was first, so I moved through the corral with my bike and really embarrassed myself (easier to do in a running race for sure) and I am sure my teammates saw me as the kit and bike are pretty loud.
Started chasing whoever I could find, just wondering if I should call it a day as I was in such a mental rut and escalated selfdoubt and criticism I wasn't sure if I should be riding my bike. Tried to press to my goal pace and met up with some people but throughout the race no one wanted to work together, so I was smoked by 30 miles and spent a long time in what was easily one of the worst death marches I have ever completed. There's no much to do on rural dirt roads to get home, other than call sag or be in an ambulance as I did last time.
There were some farm sections, which were sandy and challenging but pretty cool. Finished the race after trading some jokes with a guy the last few miles. Looked for food and water, but struggled. I was very confused and tired and slightly ill (nowhere near as bad as Boston 2014 though).
I did a lot wrong in the week leading up to this race. I think I started to be anxious about my performance, but also impending travel to Maine and my dad's health decline. He's having a lot of trouble walking. Comes in ups and downs. Just wish my mother wasn't his primary caregiver.
Took a while to reflect and wonder if bike racing is for me, especially since my running is (and is supposed to be) picking back up. I enjoy riding bikes and I do like race them, I just have a lot to work on. Bad races happen, but this was just a perfect storm of crap. Not sure if I will do Watermoo as I did last year, which I throughly enjoyed and was one of my most memorable bike races. Just going to be hard with the summer session. I'm okay with that even though I wanted to make it a yearly thing.
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