Of Mice and Marathons

AM/Lunch: 1+ hour (13.75 miles) on the fatbike. HR 152.

Went to Orion Oaks for a light ride. A lady was walking with a parrot on her shoulder. Very tired. Just want to lie in bed for a few hours.

PM: 4-mile walk w/ Megan and the boys. HR 92. Didn't feel like running.

AM: 3 miles, averaged 8:44. HR 173.

First run in a while. I think I will give up on low heart rate training until I can build some base fitness. Just going to do 3 miles a day at a moderate to steady effort for the next two weeks and then bump it up to 4 miles a day and keep building. 1 hour rides in the afternoon and longer rides on the weekends, progressively building up. Training approach revision #345u5yeirh. 

Felt a lot better today mental health wise. 

Still not sure about the two gravel races I signed up for this fall. I have 5 weeks to the first one and maybe 8 weeks to the second. I want to race, but I am so out of shape I don't feel like it is worth it. Definitely planning to still race Ice Man on the fatbike.

PM: 45' on the trainer (Carter). 170W. HR 165.

Elevated HR, but I expected that.

PM: 1+ hour (18.8 miles) of mostly gravel on fatbike. HR 172.

Pretty steady pedal pressure and a high effort, but it was fun. 15.5 MPH average, which is pretty fast relatively speaking for a fatbike on dirt. Need to take my gravel bike off the trainer. Thought I might be able to do some indoor rides, but the weather is way too nice and no rain in sight. Missed my run this morning. I was decently sore in the hamstrings and quads, but that happens a lot when I don't run for 2 weeks or so.

The boys slept until 10:00AM after getting up at 6 for their first bottle. They were impossible to get down though. We have to put them in their chairs that recline to get them to settle down before putting them in their cribs. Not ideal, but it's difficult to get dinner done and help Megan comfort them. Not sure what this new pattern is, but they go back to bed until at least 9 or so. Just off from travel?

Charlie is pushing himself up on objects and pushing into a standing position and Sawyer has started trying to talk. He has been doing this rolling throat thing for a couple weeks now (it is a cross between a Wookie and a Spanish rolled 'R'). He is repeating "Daddy" and "Dada" though he doesn't understand that it means me. Megan says it is possible that he could start talking any day now, but it is always hard to tell. Pretty crazy for 9.5 months. People always say "it goes quickly," but, man, things are rolling. I'm not sure if they will ever crawl, but their protocrawls (scooting, army crawl) is pretty efficient.

Probably haven't blogged enough about the kids and will regret that. Of course, I wasn't doing any blogging for a while. Nice to look back at stuff though, like the time in 2016 I just looked at when I did 16 x 400 in 78 seconds, which is not mindblowing but was very fast for me and something I'll never touch. Scot Faubs did 40 x 400 in 72-69 today, a workout I beleive is actually from once a runner, but Rob, Jeff, or Jon can probably confirm. Sadly I still haven't read it.

AM: 3 miles, averaged 9:09. HR 172.

Warm and high effort, but it felt good. Legs have some soreness but nothing painful. Fully expected.

PM: 85' of gravel on fatbike (20 miles). HR 166.

Roads were oddly different than yesterday even though I did 95% of the same route. Pine Knob was graded even though it was in great shape yesterday. Mildly chunky. Warmer today. Warmer weather coming. It's been oddly averaged to below average this summer.

Boys slept late again, but were tired early and a bit fussy during the day when they are normally very easy going. Earlier bedtime tonight. I need to transfer Sawyer from his chair to his crib. 

PM: 1+ hour (13.2 miles) of gravel + single track at LO High. HR 166.

Got to the loop correct even though part of the more difficult section felt like it was in reverse. I unclipped a few times and had to walk on some of the short steep hills because I didn't anticipate them. Maybe because I have only correctly done the loop twice.

I was pretty sketchy handling. I think I developed a new fear of trees. The problem is you tend to overcorrect and go right toward them. 

It's been a rough summer. Not the summer we were hoping for. Megan's mom's health is declining and her dad has slowed down a lot. Trying to get her mom moved out of rehab and into assisted living, but it is one thing after another and it has been incredibly difficult for both of us. My dad is also deteriorating. Trying to keep my head up but life feels impossible right now.

I quit my editing job a few days ago after I realized the pay was ridiculous. I had a few people tell me it was "insulting and not worth my time." Still down a class at Oakland, but I might still get one. Signed up for DoorDash, and I am trying to swallow my pride and try that. InstaCart is way too stressfull and time consuming.

Oakland is trying to cut benefits for finacial reasons. Hopefully the union blocks it. They are still excellent, but their tution program for the boys would go from 10% to 50% that we would have to pay. The medical coverage would also get more expensive. It seems like lately it is just one thing after another.

Lunch: 3 miles on the treadmill, averaged 8:21. HR 169.

Treadmill started to shut off as I was cooling down. Blah. Need to put in a call to NordicTrack, but at this point I think it's just a lemon. Works fine for Megan. Guess I need to just loose about 40 lbs and maybe I can use it for more than 30-40'.

PM: 4.1 miles treadmill, averaged 8:39.

Not sure of HR as it didn't seem to transfer from Zwift. Treadmill shut off but seems better at 2% incline. Tired of it. Extremely anxious.

Off.

Didn't feel like doing anything, but did some light weights in the basement with the boys.

Off. 

[Insert blog inappropriate language]. Over-the-top anxiety. Things look pretty dire for next winter and I think new dean is pretty hostile toward special lecturers, so I am not sure how much longer I will have a sustainable job. I am already down a class this fall and I think it is looking much worse in the winter. I am finding it incredibly hard to get out of bed even when I know I have children to take care of. Some people are already jumping ship, and Oakland is loosing excellent, award-winning teachers because it doesn't undertstand that people are happy to work hard and teach well at the university level for a bit over $40,000 per year. Yay capitalism!

Off.

Not sure what this day was. Tired. Got back on some temporary medication, which likley won't solve my underlying issues but I've been very unwell.

Off.

One year in the new house.

AM: 4 miles treadmill, averaged 10:36. HR 156.

This was the day I actually moved up the incline and it seem to help, but did not fix the issue. 

We did a short neighborhood walk with the boys and met some folks. Apparently there are some small trails in the woods beyond the subdivision that belong to the neighborhood. Something to check out. 

PM: just under 2 hours of gravel (25 miles). 141W. HR 151.

First ride on my gravel bike in forever. Not sure why I had it on the trainer as I didn't do too many rides, but it seemed like the rain was never going to end.

PM2: 4 miles w/ Megan and the boys. HR 164. 

Did one stroller stride of 20" @ 5:11 pace. 

PM: 1+ hour of gravel. 153W. HR 154.

Grumpy, but feeling a bit better with getting back into some exercise. Still having a rough time.

PM2: 4 miles w/ Megan and the boys, averaged 10:11. HR 163.

One stroller stride of 31" @ 5:20 pace. Good run.

AM: 3.3 miles, averaged 9:06. HR 163.

Day 2 of intermittent fasting. Not sure if it will work and it's not for the long term, but I need to cut weight. I generally go pretty close to 16 hours anyway. Got a little hot under the collar and mile 2 was too fast for current fitness.

Started doing a little course prep. Hard to find motivation when I am down a class and don't get paid until the end of September.

PM: 4 miles treadmill, averaged 9:50. HR 161.

Took a nap and couldn't get up and didn't feel like doing anything else. Megan and I were going to take the boys out, but it looked like rain. I was going to warm up for weights, but the treadmill seemed to function just fine at 2-2.5%, so I let the boys bounce for a while and then did some hip work. 

Got an email that I have my fourth class, so I skate by for another semester. We would be fine, but it just stresses me out. This should give me some breathing room to find something. I have applied to high schools in the past, but I don't think they will hire me without a teaching certification, which I would be more than happy to work toward. 

PM: 4 miles w/ Megan and the boys, averaged 10:40. HR 158.

Humid.

PM: 4.5 miles on the treadmill, averaged 9:07. HR 158.

Up and down throughout the day. Not bad, just a lot to do and can't seem to get organized. Took the boys down to play and ended up doing a mini workout, which I will bold here in the hopes that it catches on to something bigger. I'm just not a perpetual basebuilder. I like workouts. They don't have to be intense or long, just a little something. Treadmill seemed fine at 2%. The issue is clearly not related to heat buildup because I've tried something like this before and shut it down in 18 minutes.

3 miles of alternating quarters 8.0 MPH/6.0 MPH 

1 mile wu @ 6.0 MPH and a half mile cd @ 5.5 MPH

8.0 MPH felt comfortably hard. Half miles would have been a bit tough. I'll extend it out to 4 miles next week to test fitness and the treadmill.

AM: 2.1 miles on the treadmill, averaged 11:52. HR 139.

PM: 4 miles w/ Megan and boys, averaged 12:17. HR 149.

Decently hot and muggy. Not terrible, but we have had such a mild summer we just aren't used to a slight increase in warmer weather. I tried to keep it slow. I showed Megan it was possible to jog as slow as she walked. 

Off.

Can't remember my excuse. Put a few days in a row together, which was good.

Off.

Drove to Toledo. Megan had a baby shower and I stayed at her parents' with the boys. Her parents have moved out, so it was all very weird. We stayed the night. The boys weren't going to sleep in their Pack-n-Plays, so they slept in their car seats. You can only do so much some times. They slept until 9:45 after eating at their normal time, so that was awesome. We went to see her parents as her mom hasn't met the boys yet.

Off.

Struggling.

Off.

Same.

Off.

Managed to install a baby gate as Charlie is climbing the first three steps to the first landing.

PM: 4.1 miles on the treamill, averaged 9:45. HR 167.

Struggled mentally today, but mostly just ping ponging of feeling decent, then awful, then whatever. Attended a zoom meeting for the union at Oakland. Things are getting interesting. Lots of proposed cuts that will directly affect me, Megan, and the boys. Winter semester looks bleak. Needless to say I'm struggling bad. It was great to see so many empathetic, community oriented people though. There's good people and good work being done.

Went to be early last night and that didn't seem to help much as I was up every hour from 3-6:30 or so when the boys got up.

Managed to get something in. Started a longer workout from the previous week but it was clear my body wasn't having it, so I settled on shorter intervals at a faster pace.

8 x .10 miles on/off @ 9.0 MPH/5.0 MPH 

Quite dehydrated going into it, but I needed to burn some anxiety. HR peaked in the low 190s. Ran in a new pair of very flashy Nike Zoom Streak LT 4s. Even being overweight I like a lighter shoe on the treadmill. They felt awesome.

AM: 4.1 miles, averaged 9:54. HR 160.

Woking on syllabus stuff and course website stuff. Usually this is the easy part, but I am already stressed out. Need to be able to run more but I am not sure I am going to get it. Most of the last mile was a progression because Sawyer slept for about 30' and Megan had already been watching them for a bit. 

PM: 

Off. 

We went to a friend's wife's 50th. It was nice to see some of the guys.

Rough day mentally again. Very intense and rapid mood shifts. 

Off.

Don't recall.

Off.

An extremely tough day mentally. Would loved to have just stayed in bed with my eyes closed and napped with the cats.

PM: 3.3-mile walk w/ Megan and the boys.

Feeling a bit better. Talked pretty much non-stop.

PM: 4 miles w/ Megan and boys, averaged 10:58. HR 163.

Okay day. Manageable and functional. The Oakland bargaining crap is killing me. Knew I needed to run and we had a decent one. I guessed my HR to the exact beat.