7:32 average, sooo cold. Had to take it slow on some parts because of ice
Decided to talk to Paul today after classes because I couldn’t focus at all and was so stressed and depressed that I knew I wouldn’t get anything done if I didn’t take steps towards getting more help. He walked me over to CAPS because of the severity of what’s been going on, Paul’s so great. I’ve never been to CAPS before, they got me in for a crisis screening something or another (wasn’t expecting that). The guy was really blunt and straightforward and kinda pushy but it was nice to just be honest and let it out. My twin brother is suicidal. He calls me when he’s super low so that’s a blessing. But like Paul said, I’m just waiting for the call I don’t want. So that’s been weighing heavy on my mind. The guy said I can call 911 if I think he might attempt it one night, even if I’m 200 miles away.
I will probably get lined up for some medication within the next couple weeks, because even though a lot of it’s caused by situational stressors, I’ve been in and out of depression for years and was diagnosed 2 years ago and was put on medication back then. I ran into road blocks with it but I think it’s worth another try. And I think it’d help with my anxiety, too.
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