Patience; the new endurance sport.

I have dreamed about running 3nights in a row. I don't even consider myself a runner anymore because I only do it for excersize now. But I dreamed about running with Josse. I dreamed about running South Fork and I dreamed about running hill repeats up the North Temple Side. I got the go ahead for the elliptical yesterday, so here I go. My recovery has been gross: twisting, sitting up, reaching for things pulls at the stitches and gives me the sick feeling I am tearing my own flesh. In the night my abs spasm where they sewed me up. It wakes me up, but it's getting better. The morphine and Lortab took 4 days to get out of my system. I appreciate the pain relief, but can not understand why anyone would take that stuff recreationally . It made me feel a prisoner in my own body instead of the driver. I am glad I made the decision not to also have my gall bladder removed. It was the right decision. The trouble is and has always been my liver, it just doesn't store sugar right. Anyway, here's to the elliptical. I was wise to buy one when I wrecked my hamstring up so badly in 2011. It's come in very handy. I have all restrictions removed in 5 weeks, but will work light running back in around the 3 week mark. As I have lay in bed, I have been mulling over in my mind the reality those who lost limbs last week are facing right now. I can't imagine waking up with no foot, leg, or legs. Not to to mention the folks in Texas and the explosion. What a terrible week. 45 min elliptical / resistance 8

Did 60 min @ 6 and 6. I had a hilarious moment on the workout mat as I attempted to position myself to figure out if I could do any form of sit up, plank, or push up. Which basically amounted to my rolling around on the ground wincing in a variety of awkward positions, while the dogs looked at me with blank stares. Also, no squats, hamstring rolls or weights. It's ok, I'm excited for the journey of getting back to where I was last fall (40+mile weeks, running with Rach and Smooth' and Cath) i'll get there by mid summer. My goal is to run "the other half" half marathon in Moab in October. See how that goes. If it goes well, I may sign up for Utah valley marathon 2014 and show that thing whose boss (since that was the beginning of the end for me in 2011). We'll see. But I'm feeling optimistic about my guts not spilling out and what I've learned about hypoglycemia and liver dysfunction (et. Al.). Anything is possible (in my mind). Patience, patience, patience.

Took my girlies out for a walk on the river trail, the day was deliciously sunny. I walked really fast and then jiggidy-jogged off and on. When I didn't feel any pain or bouncing, I just kept at it. I hope pain would indicate I'm doing something wrong and I'm not just wrecking stuff inside without feeling anything. On the trail today was a group of about 50 runners, they had "A 2 A" on their shirts. We ran a little ways with a small slower trio and asked what the logo was about and they said the running club is called Addict 2 Athlete and their motto is "erase and replace". I was impressed. I told each of them how amazing I thought they were and told them to keep it up (both the running and the sobriety). I thought replacing bad addictions for running was a terrific use of compulsive and addictive behavior. All runners fear the day they can't run, for fear of what compulsive behavior will replace the running? I read a funny article on the Onion a few weeks ago, the headline was "wife of Kobe Bryant really excited to spend 24/7 with her hubby for the next 9 months while he can't play ball". This was after Kobe broke his Achilles or whatever. I've been lucky to not have torn my hamstring or damaged it any worse than I did. I can still run moderate distances and enjoy a smaller version of what I always loved about running: being outside, sweating, and clearing my head. When we finished our course, my daughter said "when the doctor said you could work up to light running, I don't think he meant almost 5 miles next Saturday. I think he thinks 'light running' means a mile or two." Who knows what is considered light running. When he gave me the go-ahead for the elliptical, halfway through my first work out, I pondered if the envisioned me doing like an hour an high resistance. I sweat so good my huge bandages had sweated right off my skin. Not sure if he would've approved or not. But it didn't feel bad.