Patience; the new endurance sport.

I am running easy miles with super intervals each .3. I'm trying to maintain my knees which took a little beating this winter. Plus my whole strength training routine. I've actually been feeling really good. My runs in Oregon (which I have yet to record) were exhilarating. I ran 6'and 4 milers the whole week allowing myself longer miles because of the padded trails and sand. I am so very excited now June and July!!! My husband has consulting work in Chile. Naturally the people bringing him down want to make his wife happy, so they are putting me and my kids up at Portillo Ski Resort. It's long been a dream of mine to ski the Tres Valles (iI'll get there too) but Portillo is fancier so they think Ill like it better. I really don't care, I'm just so excited to finally get a ski vacay in Chile!!!!! And this whole thing is on the house. Man I'm glad I stayed married. This trip will ALMOST have made being married to a Chilean for 22 years worth it. Oh come on, JK.

I am excited for Rad, Smooth, and Michelle. I keep thinking of them and remembering my own Boston Marathon experience. Mostly I miss my BOS friends who made the experience top notch for me. It was a race I can always be proud of, though I could have cut off as many as 5 minutes for having stopped to pose for a photo with a friend and her husband on the BPD who had some PD friends hold up a race sign outside of Wellesley where she works as a professor. Also, I went way conservative on the hills 11 m/m with the hope of finishing strong--which I . Miles 23-24 were a great triumph for me (getting into town and around Boston college) I really turned on the heat and still had some in the tank. What I remember as I got closer to the finish, how people completely inconvenienced by the marathon looked as they tried to board the trains. They looked disgusted and peeved. I remember thinking, it's just another day in the life of Bostonians, meanwhile I'm doing the coolest thing I've ever done in this moment. I also considered what it might be like to grab a beer at mile 24 offered by one of the BC students. Really?? It was a funny gesture. But, what great memories and a respectable finishing time.

Finding more energy without the ski. Though, I'm considering a trip to Sun Valley or Jackson for a last hurrah. Got to guard my knees though, they get stiff now after 6+. Following Rachel and Michelle. Michelle's done by now I'll bet, Rachel, a few more minutes. I hope they had good race days, remember last year and that crazy heat wave? So anticlimactic to run through the Provo slushy spring snow thinking about Boston and how far I've fallen from grace.

Can you even what happened in Boston yesterday?  Michelle, Cath, Smooth, Rachel and their travel companions all safe.  So grateful no one of our 'Utah' running family were hurt.  Cath's story is in the Daily Herald:  http://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/provo-runner-it-was-panic-people-were-running-everywhere/article_13439e6c-1408-5ad4-bde2-6757c3b9611d.html 

The atrocity, and carnage of those that were in the explosion has been hard to comprehend.  I spent the day, well into the night trying to let the horror sink in.  I could not believe the level of violence against innocent spectators, children.   It's really hard to process that information.  It seems surreal.   The medical personnel who came prepared to take care of fatigue and dehydration were amazing and  heroic. The whole Boston community, PD, the volunteers, even some of the runners-- heroic in their calm in the face of utter chaos.   I could not stop looking at the photos and praying.  Who could do such a thing?  Think if all 4 bombs would have gone off instead of 2?  To introduce fear at a marathon finish line feels like sacralige  As if someone walked into "our church" and opened fire on our congregation and family.   Running is its own kind of religion and our fellow devotees, family.  Such a violation of trust.  Such a sad day.  Boston Marathon, tainted and forever changed.   

.2's sprints on every  mile, plus .2 cool down

8 m.m. /.2 sprints on the mile and half mile--so it was a good run.  Last one I'll have for a while.  I didn't even bother with the sit ups, except the planks because I won't be able to do any core work for like 3 weeks.  I have my little procedure tomorrow and I'm thinking of writing on my stomach in Sharpie pen:  While you're in there, could you give me a tummy tuck? hahaha.  

If you haven't seen Stephen Colbert's tribute to the Boston spirit in his Colbert Report opening from today, you should.  In the meantime, enjoy:

I have dreamed about running 3nights in a row. I don't even consider myself a runner anymore because I only do it for excersize now. But I dreamed about running with Josse. I dreamed about running South Fork and I dreamed about running hill repeats up the North Temple Side. I got the go ahead for the elliptical yesterday, so here I go. My recovery has been gross: twisting, sitting up, reaching for things pulls at the stitches and gives me the sick feeling I am tearing my own flesh. In the night my abs spasm where they sewed me up. It wakes me up, but it's getting better. The morphine and Lortab took 4 days to get out of my system. I appreciate the pain relief, but can not understand why anyone would take that stuff recreationally . It made me feel a prisoner in my own body instead of the driver. I am glad I made the decision not to also have my gall bladder removed. It was the right decision. The trouble is and has always been my liver, it just doesn't store sugar right. Anyway, here's to the elliptical. I was wise to buy one when I wrecked my hamstring up so badly in 2011. It's come in very handy. I have all restrictions removed in 5 weeks, but will work light running back in around the 3 week mark. As I have lay in bed, I have been mulling over in my mind the reality those who lost limbs last week are facing right now. I can't imagine waking up with no foot, leg, or legs. Not to to mention the folks in Texas and the explosion. What a terrible week. 45 min elliptical / resistance 8

Did 60 min @ 6 and 6. I had a hilarious moment on the workout mat as I attempted to position myself to figure out if I could do any form of sit up, plank, or push up. Which basically amounted to my rolling around on the ground wincing in a variety of awkward positions, while the dogs looked at me with blank stares. Also, no squats, hamstring rolls or weights. It's ok, I'm excited for the journey of getting back to where I was last fall (40+mile weeks, running with Rach and Smooth' and Cath) i'll get there by mid summer. My goal is to run "the other half" half marathon in Moab in October. See how that goes. If it goes well, I may sign up for Utah valley marathon 2014 and show that thing whose boss (since that was the beginning of the end for me in 2011). We'll see. But I'm feeling optimistic about my guts not spilling out and what I've learned about hypoglycemia and liver dysfunction (et. Al.). Anything is possible (in my mind). Patience, patience, patience.

Took my girlies out for a walk on the river trail, the day was deliciously sunny. I walked really fast and then jiggidy-jogged off and on. When I didn't feel any pain or bouncing, I just kept at it. I hope pain would indicate I'm doing something wrong and I'm not just wrecking stuff inside without feeling anything. On the trail today was a group of about 50 runners, they had "A 2 A" on their shirts. We ran a little ways with a small slower trio and asked what the logo was about and they said the running club is called Addict 2 Athlete and their motto is "erase and replace". I was impressed. I told each of them how amazing I thought they were and told them to keep it up (both the running and the sobriety). I thought replacing bad addictions for running was a terrific use of compulsive and addictive behavior. All runners fear the day they can't run, for fear of what compulsive behavior will replace the running? I read a funny article on the Onion a few weeks ago, the headline was "wife of Kobe Bryant really excited to spend 24/7 with her hubby for the next 9 months while he can't play ball". This was after Kobe broke his Achilles or whatever. I've been lucky to not have torn my hamstring or damaged it any worse than I did. I can still run moderate distances and enjoy a smaller version of what I always loved about running: being outside, sweating, and clearing my head. When we finished our course, my daughter said "when the doctor said you could work up to light running, I don't think he meant almost 5 miles next Saturday. I think he thinks 'light running' means a mile or two." Who knows what is considered light running. When he gave me the go-ahead for the elliptical, halfway through my first work out, I pondered if the envisioned me doing like an hour an high resistance. I sweat so good my huge bandages had sweated right off my skin. Not sure if he would've approved or not. But it didn't feel bad.

Log entry, Day 11:  At first it hurt when I tensed up my stomach muscles and they'd spasm at night if I stretched or flexed my feet.  Now it hurts if I relax them and let my belly hang heavy.  So at least I can start sucking in my gut again. I used to think my sit up routine didn't really did any (cosmetic) good; but after nearly 2 weeks without them, I can say with confidence that they make a difference. At first I just looked like I was 5 months pregnant, but as the swelling subsides I just look like I have a round little pot belly.  

I'm getting more healed every day AND Sego lilys were blooming everywhere in the foothills! The morning was calm, I could see clearly now the rain is gone.....all the way across Utah Valley and the stillness of the Utah Lake.  I walk/hiked really fast uphill taking the South side Bonneville Shoreline trail above Provo Canyon. The whole time I was thinking of the guy they arrested up there yesterday near squaw peak (naked and in the middle of a psychotic episode).  So glad I was not the one to discover him.  But today, even the creeping fear of sometimes of quasi-city perimeter wilderness (where the homeless sometimes camp) couldn't ruin my morning.  I have perfected the art of 'starting again' from ground zero (fitness wise).  I am no longer afraid of injury, or lost momentum, or the nagging thought that my hamstring might snap.  I know what to do in the face of minor adversity.  I have practice!   I am now the queen of moderation and patience (hear that marathon gods, I'mma comin').

Spent 60 minutes cranking 9 on the elliptical. It's a great work out. I've been watching all these old movies from the 60's and realized what is wrong with every American man between the ages of 60-80. All these movies glorify the rebellious, free spirit, rule breaking Maverick and the perils and stupidity of being subject to authority, rules and fear. Slow Hand Luke, Vanishing Point, Dr. strange love. It explains so much about my father I never understood. Especially vanishing point. It basically spells out how he'd rather die than slow down or keep the rules. Which is exactly how my Dad died--doing his own thing at 100 mph right into a wall. Lots of time spent on the treadmill, elliptical and in bed has allowed me time to catch up on my old movie fetish. I've come to realize how powerful the media has been over time in shaping the American conscious and attitude since who know how long. It shaped it, more than it was a reflection of it I think. Anyway, enough about running...... After working out, my sweat cooled as I ran around putting everyone to bed and doing the dishes. I got a chill from being wet and suddenly craved sitting in the warm tub more than I could possibly explain (it is my all time favorite activity while I own a body on this earth ). But I was prohibited from soaking for 3 weeks. Thats the longest Ive been without a bath in 7 years. I take one at least every day. So I taped up my sutures with really good waterproof tagaderm bandages and sat carefully into the water. The bandages worked, and I sat back and disappeared into its warmth. It felt so good and made me so happy, involuntary tears of gratitude filled my eyes. NOTHING in this word feels better than deep, warm, still water to sink your tired, chilled body into.