I could not drag myself out of bed this morning and so I begrudgingly ran 4 miles on the treadmill after work while my son played Guitar Hero. I did my millions of sit ups and push ups and stretched forever to compensate for the amount of running I did not do today. I'm angry because I've wanted to ski and the weather sucks, and I can't get away during the day. I feel like a pent-up tiger. Everyone keeps asking me about Boston. I got in, I registered, I've made my plans, but I can not get my butt in gear to start training. I'll run 9 with Catherine again on Saturday. I need to get 10 comfortably down to feel any better. It seems insurmountable. Winter is not my running season and it's putting me into a funk. I think I've got to ditch the warm womb of the BYU track, and start out doing things on my own again. I'll be sad to lose my regular morning thing with Marsha, but I can't train the way we run together. I can do long runs with other people, but I can not do my weekday work outs in tandem. I'm struggling with depression, but unlike most people who get sad, I get angry. I just feel so restarined by the weather, the air quality, my work schedule, algebra (I'm bad at it), and science fair. I had to put my cat to sleep last week and it hasn't snowed in over 15 days, and my knee hurts sometimes. Wah, wah, wah. |