I've worked harder in the past month than I have in about 2 years. It was already comletely dark outside when I ran at 5:30 this afternoon. Fueled by manic exhaustion and controlled rage over the past week, I was less afraid of being assaulted on the shadowy dark trail, than I was of continuing my home life in tone and timber of my work day. I desperately needed to be outside. I had one hour while my kids were at Piano lessons. The fuel in my emotional tank from Saturday's run was getting dangerously low. The trail at night with only a sliver of a moon occassinally peeking out from behind the clouds is a new experience. Sometimes I walk it late at night when there's been fresh snow. The whiteness reflects the moon light and turns the trail into a dark tined version of the day world I love those nights. But tonight was pitch. The river sounded louder to me because of it. Anyway, I felt extremly lucky to have that one hour this afternoon to myself to switch the gears between one form of slavery to the next. |