Of Mice and Marathons

Off.

Slept late as I was up until I think 2:30 when I had to excuse myself and go to bed. Just hung out at the house for a little while. It was very warm in Maine for October and felt great. Could have probably run but couldn't be bothered. We went to see my Dad. My siblings were there. He's coherent but not eating or drinking anything and they stopped the feeding tube and antibiotics. He was really happy to see me as I knew he would be. 

We went to my niece's soccer game after, which was fun and super beautiful with a gift of October weather. I hadn't eaten anything all day, so I was happen when we had a very late lunch/very early dinner. Went to by borther's house and then went to my mom's house. Imbibed a far amount that day and put myself to bed around 10. 

It's been very quiet at my mom's house. Dad not there, people not just showing up here and there as is typical, and my siblings were never at her house with me, so it was all very odd and strangely lonely, even though I got to spend a lot of time with my mom alone for the first time in a very long time.

Off.

Hung out with Mom in the morning. We went to see dad late morning and had lunch at Damon's and headed to Hampden Beach area in New Hampshire as my Mom had a hotel she booked to stay with my dad and she booked my flight for Tuesday. I really wan't sure how long I was going to be there and it was shorter than I expected, but I was also anxious to be back to see the boys and figured I had done what I came to do. Mom and I walked on the beach a bit. There were some young women in bikinis on October 2 in New England, which doesn't happen often. They even went swimming. 

We got to the hotel and I Facetimed with Megan and the boys. I needed to see them. Definitely the longest I have been away from the boys, second to when I broke my elbow, which I think was around 12 hours or so.

Off.

Mom took me to the airport. Flights mostly went fine with some slight delays, but I had a layover in Newark anyway. Pretty tired when I got home, but it felt so good to see the boys.

AM: 7.4 miles, averaged 8:49. HR 152.

Very anxious on waking. Wasn't sure I was going to be too functionaly and wanted to go back to bed, so I did for a while when the boys were at their friend's and then went running. It was tough going but it was warm and beautiful out. Took a nap, which helped. Hung out with the boys in the afternoon and took them to the middle school. They weren't interested in watching the football game and I guess I wasn't really either.

AM: 7.5 miles, averaged 8:38. HR 149.

Felt a good bit better today. Still felt tired and kind of off balance. Tried to eat a lot more the last few days as I know that hasn't helped. It poured at times on the run. 

PM: 90' on the trainer (Phoenix -3). 211W. HR 138.

It was still raining a good deal and I didn't feel like running in the rain again, so I did a trainer ride. Forgot how spooky one of the season 11 episodes of the Walking Dead was. I actually started looking over my shoulder. 

Felt a good deal better after this. Focused on rest, hydration, nutrition, and positive thinking today. The boys seem like they had a good day at school.

AM: 7.7 miles, averaged 8:30. HR 152.

Weather much nicer than yesterday. Dad is being transfered to hospice.

PM: 4.5 miles, averaged 10:04. HR 136.

HR a little elevated. Felt like I had congestion I couldn't clear and my breathing was difficult. Low on energy. Tried to eat a fair amount after I picked the boys up from school. Been slightly off balance here and there, so I have been trying to hydrate well.

Dad officially moved to hospice.

PM: 14.8 miles, averaged 8:08. HR 165.

120' w/ 60' @ half marathon effort + 10"

Sawyer was stirring early and I got him up and put him in the guest bed with me and we fell back asleep until 7:30. Charlie was stirring for I don't know how long. Needed the sleep. Had a decent day mentally but I had some challenging moments with mood swings, but tried to practice some claming thinking and did fairly well. Took the boys to the fire station for a kids event. They were extremely excited, which made me happy.

I wasn't sure how the workout would go. I was tired and still trying to get my energy levels and balance back. The weather was cold and rain showers would come through and I did not want to run, but it has been three weeks without a long run. I'm not quite sure how I managed but it turned out well. Three weeks ago I did 50' at this effort and I ran just under 7:30 pace. I thought 7:30 pace might be extremely difficult given how I have felt mentally and physically and trying to make sure I am eating. 

During the warmup my HR was elevated and almost pulled the plug, but just kind of figured I would see. Turned out as soon as I started the workout I felt very good. Not great, but we will call it great compared to how I had felt and how I thought I would feel. Rained here and there and it was windy in places. 

7:16 averaged @ 175 BPM. 

My HR got into the upper 180s toward the end but my breathing was solid, so I ignored it. Sometimes when I cross into the 180s I am started to really breathe and the upper 180s I am gasping. It has taken me almost 13 years of running and 5 or so years of cycling to fully realize that HR doesn't always match breathing. Usually it does, but not necessarily (just ask a Ironman athlete who can be all out basically at 140-150 BPM).