Relentless

afternoon - 5 Washington.  Decided I needed to give it a try today.  Woke up feeling much better, but digressed as the day went on.  Ended very tired and crappy feeling by the evening.  The run was a bit slow, legs felt sluggish and lungs were shallow.  Ended with 8xbarefoot striders.  (Stratus grey 327.6)(Barefoot '09 167.65)

AM - 3 Dogtown.  Woke up feeling better than last night.  The run was also a bit better than yesterday.  Legs had more in them, lungs felt a little better.  Hopefully one more day and a good night's sleep tonight will put me where I need to be.  Very cold this morning, below 40 degrees.  Weighed in at a quick and race-ready 148 this morning.  (Triumph 296.3)

St. George Marathon -

Well what an up and down down race wise and emotionally for me.  I really had a good feeling about things going into this.  Even being sick this week, I just had this gut feeling that the race was going to rip.  Workouts had been solid all summer; I was coming off crazy mileage in the spring; had enough time to turn that into great speed; the taper was awesome; had a huge personal motivation that I was using to drive me for the past couple months, and I was evening feeling quite a bit better waking up this morning.  But I guess it just wasn't meant to be.  The race went like this:

  Started off very well.  5:30 for the first mile.  Had a great pack including JeffMc and Seth; the weather was great and I no signs of anything bad.  Moving toward the end of mile 2, Seth took off after Ian (I figured it was only a matter of time), but Jeff and I were talking and just planning on working together throughout and making the best of it all.  For the next 5 miles things were great.  I really had not one bad thing going on through 7.  My legs felt so good.  My breathing was great.  And mentally I felt strong.  Then going up Veyo, just like that, it was all gone.  My legs turned to bricks.  Everything was gone.  It seemed that everything that could hurt on my legs was; my hips, quads, calves, even a plantar like pain in my right foot.  I tried to keep it cool and tell myself that the group had only gained about 15 meters on me up the hill and I would work on them through Dammeron.  I tried a surge on top, but nothing.  Tried again, again nothing.  I gave it one more shot at about mile 10, and I knew that it was over.  From there I just backed it way off.  I thought, "What good does a brutal 2:35 or so experience get me?  Nothing."  So I basically just jogged it as I waited for James to catch up.  If nothing else good was going to come of this, I was going to be able to help my brother get his goals.  Before too long, about around the 1/2, people started coming by me - Greg, Sasha, Walter, many others - and it was kind of fun to give them some yells of encouragement.  Really my mind was fine through here.  It was, what it was!  Saw some people through the crowds that understood when it's not your day it's not and they gave shout outs of encouragement.  Coming up on 19, I really backed off and stopped at my ward's aide station there and chatted and waited for James.  Before too long I saw him cresting the Winchester Hill, so I started up again and got him up to me.  He said he was struggling, but he actually looked decent.  But as we started the drop, I could tell his legs were hammered as he couldn't use the hill at all.  It was a lot of fun working with him, encouraging him, even giving a little yell here-and-there to keep him going.  And he totally responded as we pushed through those last few brutal miles when you are just so dead, to be at 2:47.  I was really proud of him and glad that I could help a little.  It was fun seeing a lot of other people do really well and hit some awesome goals, too.

  At the same time, I am kind of having a hard time with it as well.  You put so much time and effort into this.  So much time and effort.  The beastly early mornings.  Pushing yourself so hard.  Hours and hours; years and years.  And for some reason it just doesn't work.  I know that being sick had something to do with it, but...

I think another reason I am kind of struggling with it is, that I am done.  Marathons and I have a love-hate relationship.  I love them; they hate me!  I love running more than any other thing beside my family and my religion.  Even the pain and torture are part of the pull.  I love to race; always have.  The rush, the speed, the feeling of just going all out and just driving the body to extremes that so few know just apeals to me in every way.  But I decided that this is it - at least for competitive marathoning.  I can't do it anymore.  It has been too much on me.  But I walk away with my head held high.  I gave it my best shot... no one can ever say I didn't put my every ounce into it.  I really am kind of sad about it (and I know that some will think, "Yeah, right?  You'll be back."), but I've always wanted to be done with no regrets - and me... I have absolutely NO REGRETS.  Every time I tried, I tried as hard as I could.  And I tried every time.   

So here I go moving on to the next challenge.  Of course, there is no way I could leave running.  The draw of the open road, whether it be paved, dirt, or trail, is much to much to my liking, so I just leave to move to the next... Watch out Ultra-world.  Here I come!

by the way (Ohana racers 189.35)

afternoon - 4.5 Starbucks.  A bit sore; took it easy and hopefully it will work out a few of the kinks.  (Landreth blue 123.7)

afternoon - 6.5 Shoe Run.  Nice Shoe Run with the boys including an cool dip in Sandberg's.  Molly's Mile.  (stratus black 494.4)

Didn't make time to run today.

evening - 7.5 Club run.  Met Steve at the DC trailhead, and we went down toward Bloomington onto the new section of the trail.  Molly's Mile when I got home.  Calves were a little sore and crampy still.  Lungs are still a bit closed off.  (Landreth orange 481.2)

afternoon - 8 Fire Station desert/Green Springs.  Ran with the boys as we went up into the desert and connected to the top of Green Springs and back.  A little sore in the calves, lungs still a little blocked off.  (Cumulus gold 455.3)

morning - 9 City Wells.  Ran up to the wells this morning - had to cross under the freeway, since they are once again ripping up the desert above my house to make more roads and eventually houses (makes me sick).  Run was great, very pretty sunrise and beautiful running.  Molly's Mile.  (Triumph 305.3)

Pretty decent recovery week.  I think the tiredness from being sick has been worse than the soreness in the legs.  

Goals for next week: I may have a few zeroes next week; a busy one with the region meets.  Then Al and I are headed to Denver.

afternoon - 3.25 Little Valley.  Not much of a run today - and it will probably be this way all week.  Went to set up region course at Little Valley and ran around a bit.  Then Molly's Mile.  (Five Fingers 170.9)

Nothing - 3A Region

Nothing - 4A Region

I don't think I ran this day - but maybe... that's what happens when you don't update everyday.

Went to Denver for our 10th anniversary a couple weeks ago - I took the weekend off. 

nothing

Driving back home.

evening - 2.5 SLC South Towne Mall.  Easy run to work out the kinks with the team.  (Triumph 307.8)

morning - 8 Draper Trail.  Pretty sore and kinky.  Can tell I haven't run in awhile. (Triumph 315.8)

afternoon - 6.3 Trail to Nowhere.  Ran the trail with the boys who are headed to Phoenix and then took Molly around.  She hadn't been out in awhile and was pretty antsy.  (Landreth blue 130)

afternoon - 6.2 Middleton Tunnel.  Fun little run through the tunnel and then Molly's Mile.  Legs have been slowly working out the junk.  Spending a lot of time with core stuff lately.  (Cumulus gold 461.5)

noon - 9 City Wells.  Ran Molly's Mile then up to the wells.  It needs to rain, the trails are getting very dry and sandy.  (Landreth 954.9)

Week was okay.  I need to get going a little more.

AM - 3 Treadmill.  Up and at 'em this morning.  Nothing big, but a start.  (Five Fingers 81.85)

afternoon - 9.25 Parkway (out and back).  Michigan Workout - warmup, 1mile-5K, 1.5-10K, 3/4-5K, 1.5-10K, .5-5K, 1.5-10K, 400 meters all out, cool.  It was pretty hard.  But I held in there okay for not having done anything for awhile.  Look forward to sticking it a bit better next time.  (Stratus grey 335.85)

AM - 7 2xAC and laps.  A bit cool out this morning.  (Landreth black 755.85)

afternoon - 7 Foremaster.  Ran on my own on Foremaster since the team was supposed to be playing the wrestlers in ultimate.  Molly's Mile.  (Stratus bee 768.45)

AM - 7 2xAC and laps.  Hips starting to act up - especially left one that gave me trouble through the summer.  (Landreth blue 137) 

afternoon - 10 GS/PL/Midd.  Out in the desert with the team.  Legs are really spent from Monday still.  Molly's Mile.  (Triumph 325.85)

AM - 7 2xAC and laps.  Same old.  Hip felt a bit better this morning after icing down, rolling, and massaging the last couple days.  (Cumulus white 747.35)

evening - 8.5 Bloomington Loop.  Molly's Mile and then went over to club run and Clyde and I ran the Bloomington Loop at a pretty quick pace.  Legs felt the best they have in weeks.  (Stratus black 503.2) 

AM - 7 2xAC/laps.  Another chilly one out this morning.  Legs/hip a little more sore than yesterday, but still better than earlier in the week.  (Free 44.5) 

afternoon - 7.65 Sunrise.  Went over as a team and ran 5xSunrise hills.  I was really wiped out.  Each hill hit me like a brick wall - in a way very similar to how I felt going up Veyo this year.  Obviously a weakness that needs to be addressed.  Molly's Mile.  Don't remember the shoes I wore this run (need to be updating daily!)

morning - 12 Zen.  Ran Zen Trail over by Green Valley Loop with Clyde, Paul, and Logan.  Had a fun time chatting and hitting a neat trail that I'd never been on.  Molly's Mile.  (Landreth orange 493.2)