Well, now I have had a few days to reflect on Saturday's surreal run. The soreness is dissipating, although not completely gone, and my stomach has finally returned to normal--I ate a full meal for the first time last night. I didn't really expect to go out and run 100 miles, so the whole thing really is surreal, and I couldnt be more thrilled. That race broke me to my core, both mentally and physically. But, it was running broken down to its elements, the real reasons I run, the reason I suspect many people run. It was not just me, but a band of us, all in pain, all struggling, all fighting their way through the night to cover this monstrous distance. Then there was the volunteers, our crews and friends, the people who wouldn't let us quit. The atmosphere and community feeling at this race was like nothing I have ever experienced, and I can say, without a doubt, that ultrarunning is my niche, and it is where running is happy for me. I have struggled this year with expectations and doubts about myself, a lot of crisis, just a lot of crap. Saturday it wasn't about that, it was about fighting the good fight along side friends, and pushing myself to a new level. It wasn't like other races, which I do alone, this race I did not do alone at all, I was assisted and carried by friends who understood even more than myself why I had to finish it out. I remember flopping onto a chair at the aid station, almost in tears, when the pain and nausea had really set in fiercely. Jason had squatted by me, looked me in the eye, and said, "I'm not gonna lie to you, it's gonna get worse. But you're gonna get to 100, and you're gonna win, and me and Barry are gonna be with you." And they were. Not just them, everybody! All those crazy volunteers and runners, they were all with me, all night! and I was with them! So, basically, when I strolled to the starting line of this race, I really had absolutely no clue what was going to happen. I had not trained, I had no plan, I just showed up for the ride, and what a ride it was. I feel rejuvenated and peaceful, like this was a hardcore re-set. I am excited to run purely for the joy of it, because it is a joyful activity and part of who I am. So maybe in a few days I can jog a few miles, when my body has decided it is ready, legs aren't quite there yet. I'm excited for what the future will bring!
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