AM: Biking and supervised RUNNING at PT. Feels so good - oh yeah!
PM: More biking, hip exercises, and restorative yoga at the lovely new Mudita Yoga Studio *Rant Alert* It wasn't until two gigantic tears plopped down on my yoga mat tonight that I realized how depressed I have been since I injured my hip last year. It has been nearly 7 months since I sat on that mat. Multiple doc visits and opinions, hundreds spent on chiropractors, cortisone shots, indecision about surgery, surgery, vomiting all over myself, 6 weeks on crutches, 2 hours a day of PT for 8 weeks now, endless annoying theraband exercises, and having to deal with the idea that I will probably need to go through this all again with the other hip. This sucks! I find it ironic that a few days before the initial injury I journaled
about how happy I was. It was the happiest I had felt pretty much ever
and I tried to identify why. At the top of the list was running lots and
my Wednesday night yoga class along with feeling hopeful about my
future and eating lots of fresh veggies from the Farmer's Market :)
I thought I was strong and resilient but honestly healing and dealing with this hip thing left me with little energy for anything or anyone else. My mental health is so intimately wrapped up in my physical health that this whole ordeal left me depressed, overwhelmed, and not a whole lot of fun to be around. I couldn't even see how dysfunctional and depressing my whole outlook became until now that I am finally snapping out of it.
I know I still have a long road, but I am committed to doing the physical and mental work I need to do to recover completely. I think for the immediate future I might focus a little more on my mental healing than on those darned clam shells. I am easing into running and I am back to Wednesday night yoga so that is going to help a little too. *End of Rant* Words of wisdom from hippie dip yoga
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
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