Failure makes me work even harder.

AM-3 easy.  I felt really good this morning running to AC.

PM-6 miles then 2 miles indian run w/ 4xhill sprints & 4x100m F pace. We ran out by the hospital around onto the river trail. I felt pretty good today.  I was really positive and when we hit the indian run I really felt good!  As we got a mile into it I started to get a little tiny bit negative and I just said "you are physically able to do much more than this!" and "suck it up and shut up your mind!" which helped a ton.  We then stopped at the 2450 park, and I drank too much water.  We then got back and did hill sprints which I felt amazing on, especially on the top.  I started to cramp a little and my stomach was sloshing so that hurt on the 100m sprints.  But on the first 100m I felt awesome...I was just behind able and michael and passed able at the very end.  The 2nd one I ran well again.  The third one I was a back with krenshaw, because I was cramping, so we just did it together and I really pushed it.  The last one I was just right next to byron, a little bit behind michael and able.  I felt I did good, because I really pushed harder the second half and gained ground.  It kinda proved to me I have more speed than I thought!

AM- 3 easy.  I felt good, but I have been slightly angry lately...I think cause of all the stress this year with decision galore and I called mike a wuss (spell check) which really he is one of the biggest studs I know, so sorry.

PM- Michigan workout.  First half (800m, then 2400m, then 1/2 of the 800m) felt fine and I stuck right on Mike with ease.  Then I fell behind and just kept slowly more and more down....and I didn't feel one bit of pain (which I at least make up some in my brain) it was just PURE mental stupidity!  I don't think some of these mental tricks everyone says work on me...I mean can you truely deceive yourself?  I mean, I tell myself okay this is easy and I fall apart so OH ya I should tell myself its gonna be rough and that I need to push it....then fall apart!!!  It's just so frustrating!!!!  I have one of the most jacked up mind EVER!!!  I feel like when they tell me shut my brain up and just run....it's almost like telling a dog to fly...it's just not gonna happen.  I mean don't get me wrong the people who like coach and my parents and teammates trying to help me are doing amazing....it's just I'm not like other people apparently and its just frustrating...so if I have gotten mad at you lately it's just cause...I'm ubber frustrated....cause I feel like I am ready physically to just shock the world....but mentally I can barely pass as a varsity member.  So they cancel and I become a mid-varsity runner.  Ugh, why am I telling the internet this?  Because one that's how frustrated I am...and if I posted this on facebook I would have like 300 people unfriend me haha.

AM- 3 easy to AC.

PM- 5 w/ 2x400m I pace.  I felt really good and positive today.  I really liked the run to greensprings!

AM- 3 easy.  I felt great this morning.

PM-5 w/ 4x200m.  It was a good, easy afternoon run.  I ran 200m's and I felt good on the first 3 200m, but the last one I was tired on the last 100m stretch. 

AM- 3 easy

PM- Race.  This race I started out perfect and I really just died off.  Wasn't even close to my best probably at 70% at the end.  I really lost to people I don't normally lose to and I just settled the whole time.  Not really even tired after the race.  Going to start working harder to break through because I know I can do it.  Physically, I can beat almost anyone, but mentally I am weak.  So, I am going to improve that.  I only have 3 races left and I am going to get my break through race whether it kills me or not!!  And to do that I have to basically kill myself to do it!  I know if I can break through mentally I will be able to amazing stuff, but in order to break through it's going to take x3 the effort I have given all season!

AM @ Sugarhouse- This workout I really wanted to get my mindset of working harder to overcome my mental weakness, so pushing it was key.  The workout was 4x(2minH+1minE, 1minH+30secE, 30secH+30secE) w/2.5warm 3cool.  I started out the first set alright.  I was behind Mike, but I was still warming into the fast pace and I couldn't breath very well today compared to yesterday.  But the second set I did a little better and when I wanted to slow down but coach told me to keep pushing so I did.  The third set I was tired and the little rest between sets went by way fast.  I really pushed this set...I don't really remember how I did in comparison to others...I just remembered I pushed it fo me.  The fourth set was my best.  On the 2 minutes hard I could've slowed down like I usually do, but I told myself that this was the time to get my breakthrough so I pushed it and made some ground up on mike.  The last 1 min. hard coach told us to stay with Mike, so we all were legit and did!  I really pushed it on this one to stay right on his side.  The last 30 seconder I really wanted to go all out and I went fast!  Braden and I ran a few feet behind mike which was good cause I almost slipped on the major downhill!