AM- 3 easy. I felt good, but I have been slightly angry lately...I think cause of all the stress this year with decision galore and I called mike a wuss (spell check) which really he is one of the biggest studs I know, so sorry.
PM- Michigan workout. First half (800m, then 2400m, then 1/2 of the 800m) felt fine and I stuck right on Mike with ease. Then I fell behind and just kept slowly more and more down....and I didn't feel one bit of pain (which I at least make up some in my brain) it was just PURE mental stupidity! I don't think some of these mental tricks everyone says work on me...I mean can you truely deceive yourself? I mean, I tell myself okay this is easy and I fall apart so OH ya I should tell myself its gonna be rough and that I need to push it....then fall apart!!! It's just so frustrating!!!! I have one of the most jacked up mind EVER!!! I feel like when they tell me shut my brain up and just run....it's almost like telling a dog to fly...it's just not gonna happen. I mean don't get me wrong the people who like coach and my parents and teammates trying to help me are doing amazing....it's just I'm not like other people apparently and its just frustrating...so if I have gotten mad at you lately it's just cause...I'm ubber frustrated....cause I feel like I am ready physically to just shock the world....but mentally I can barely pass as a varsity member. So they cancel and I become a mid-varsity runner. Ugh, why am I telling the internet this? Because one that's how frustrated I am...and if I posted this on facebook I would have like 300 people unfriend me haha. | 