Believe to Achieve

I had taken a muscle relaxant, flexeril (1/4 of a pill) to try to get rid of the intense burning pain in my neck that radiates to my eye, shoulder, arm and lumbar region.  I then threw them all out because they make me drowsy/fog-like and irritable as well as extremely thirsty.  It did not take away the pain.  I have had this pain linger on for weeks at a time.  Finally I am going to a chiropracter at 900 am Tuesday.  I feel like a very poor aligned automobile where my bones are actually rubbing against each other impinging nerves all over my spine.  I hope it goes well.  I did eventually manage to get out of my house after cleaning my kitchen floors (won't be able to move well to do this next week, want all my cleaning done so I can relax post-marathon).  It was 1100am when I got started and first just stood in my front yard thining how am I going to make it thru with this burning pain?  But I remember it does go away if I continue on in my run (but returns right when I do).  So I ran 5.4 miles.  First mile 9:03 with each mile feeling easier and easier I ended up with my last mile at 7:30 and it felt easy.  The heat simulation run was good for me to.  I figure it should benefit me cause I hate the heat and it will actually be cooler on race day so running should feel easier?  Well the remainder of the day I just gritted my teeth living for tomorrow (my chiropracter appt).  No meds touch the pain so I figure a skeleton doctor could do the trick from what I have heard from you all.  Stay tuned for outcome of my tune-up.  Total time running:  44:30.

NO running as my burning headache had been pretty bad and wanted to focus on my appointment at 9am.  The chiropracter Dr. Bowers in Provo said my neck was shifted to the right at the first vertebrae and I have tons of trigger points (part of the fibromyalgia diagnosis I stear away from thinking I really have) and muscle knots (same thing I guess)  along my shoulders, pecs (upper chest) and under my arms and down my  right arm.  I was told in June I had carpal tunnel, elbow tunnel (don't know the true name for it) and thoracic outlet.  Dr. Bowers said they were all related to the same muscle underneath my arms by my chest from all the knots and no blood flow, hence nutrients getting to this area very well.  I tend to agree with him since surgery to open up spaces is not an option for me.  He massaged the areas of concern for 20 to 30 minutes then adjusted my neck, shoulders and back.  He even tried to adjust my TMJ I have had for years.  Yup I have that too.  I am a walking malalignment.  I was in two car accidents and hit a tree with my head (pretty hard, knocked out my baby front teeth and gave me 16 stitches and a doozy scar on my forehead) when I was six years old.  I also fell down the stairs with my walker when I was 1 my  mom said and landed hard on my head. This is speculated to cause my TMJ.  Never knew chiropractics could have straightened me out then.  Dr. Bowers actually adjusts babies too that have rough deliveries.  The TMJ is not a covered item with insurance (some pay $1000 towards care for it if you are lucky) although it is a joint in the body used everyday like a knee, very interesting.  A well-known TMJ specialist said he could fix mine plus braces to realign the way I bite for $7000.  Can't justify it unless money fell from the sky.  But sometimes the tension in my jaw, the continued locking of it and my headaches sway me otherwise.  Sorry this is going on and on.  But after 39 years I try to just deal with it all.  I refuse to be one of the many people I see come in thru my work (I am a NICU nurse) addicted to pain killers (yup they just had babies too!).  Well after the marathon, scraping of my shoulders is indicated and ultrasound waves to my neck.  Probably a good leg massage as well.  If you made it this far or even if you are about to fall asleep, thanks for hanging in.  I will now focus on SGM even though through a blog you never know what people are really dealing with so everyone have a good three days of taking it easy, analyzing, breathing in and out, eating well, sleeping as best you can, and be greatful for our gift of being able to run.

I decided to add this at the top before you fall asleep at the end.  You never know what good you can do in an early morning decision of which route to run.  I encountered two moments to help out a stranger and I thought if I chose a different route I wouldn't have helped out. Even though I didn't get a thanks I felt good I could be of service.  About five kids were biking to school at 745am and one got his back pack caught in his wheel pretty tightly.  He had no idea what to do and was standing in the middle of the road confounded.  I simply instructed to take off the back pack, lifted up the chain and removed the tightly woven strap and he sped off without much to say.  Then I met up with the same bikers crossing the road and one girl was crying due to an "injured" ankle from another rider.  "no blood"  I said.  "you just feel more pain due to the cold, you will feel good soon, and after my gentle reminder about "where are all your new helmets that were passed out to you last week at safety week to every kid at Manila Elementary? (my next door neighbor, mother of four, her helmet although crushed, saved her life as she was in ICU for three months last year)... but that young girl was off too (she said her new helmet caused her last accident... interesting).  Wow hadn't even got to the first mile mark and I was feeling like I saved  the world (or at least tried), not really but... it really does pay to be at the right place at the right time for both sides. 

Now back to my story...  I went back to the chiropracter due to my hip and knee acting up with this run which feels really great during the massage, ultrasound heat and stretching and realignment then whamo in the car the nerve is still acting up.  I am not sure what to think.  But really I want the nerve pain to migrate to an arm, I really don't need them too much in a marathon.  I felt great cardiovascularly (is that a word?) and my whole right side was like this is easy, but no the left hip was like "ry doing this for 23 more miles and I will show you"  I am now looking for a miracle to have this nerve pain transform out of my leg/hip/knee/foot within 60 hours.  My last mile felt very easy despite the pain as far as respiratory effort   (7:03) which I was happy with but a half hour after the run the nerve pain set in.  The same burning pain that I feel in my head neck and shoulder often.  I figure one of these days I get a correct diagnosis.  I have gone from multiple sclerosis, chiari malformation,  fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, multiple chemical sensitivity, lupus  to yeast overgrowth.  Some day answers will come.  In the meantime I choose to run.  I tried to stop running in the past because I got comments it was due to running, but low and behold the same pains even after taking off for a month.  Okay enough already.  Don't feel sorry for me if anything be stronger from reading my story.  The power  of the mind (over matter) is achievable.  I want everyone to remember that at mile 15, 20-26.2 etc....  This too shall pass if you are at that point in feeling... or say to yourself....  I can do this,  turn a frown upside down and smile those miles away.  It truly works.  I will be at the starting line no matter what.  See you all there sooner than later.  Get lots of sleep the next two nights.  I hope to make it by the blog party, but my husband will be in the hotel watching the BYU football game tuning out the kids so I may have to stay behind to entertain at the pool.  Another long post.  Thanks for hanging in there.  ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzss.

Okay that was a quick run even though it was run sloowwwwlllly. Ran with hubby. First mile 9:49 second mile 9:00. I was thinking hey this is nice. Do I even want to run fast? ..... of course I will try.

Here goes 24 hours later (really enjoyed the nice fall weather in St. George Sunday am, but I was told we were all a part of history, since it hadn't rained for the marathon in 25 years, a day to remember for sure):

1:  8:00  (sad to not find my friend Kim, lost each other with a potty break before race start).  Wore a plastic bag over my head, a Target one to be exact, bandana-style!

2:  7:38   No problem.

3-4:   Too dark and crowded to see mile marker three so cumulative time 14:57 (maybe even split of 7:29)

5-6:  Still dark and crowded: 14:36  (7:18s).  Too fast but felt easy so I thought maybe I can do this, should have eased back I guess for some steam at the finish.

7:  Oooops 7:06.  Was this way down hill?  ....cause I felt so good. 

8:  Bigger ooops.  Slowed on purpose on Veyo a bit too slow 9:01.

9: 8:09.  Finding it hard to get a pace here, but thinking I hope this is uphill still.  Just couldn't tell with the wind and rain.

10:  8:11.  Am I just running out of steam or what.   I really am thinking magic might happen at mile 15 like in the past.

11: 8:33.  Well the magic better happen quick cause I am not liking the effort not showing on the clock.

12: 8:05.  Okay better.

13: 7:56.  I'll take that. 

13.1 1:43:10.  Double that makes 3:26:20.  I am thinking this is good cause I always do better here on the second half.......wishful thinking.... here comes the headwinds even stronger...Dear Mother Nature:  Are you having fun today?

14:  7:19.  Where did that come from?  But feeling more positive now.

15-16:  14:31 (7:15s) Getting pretty hopeful cause I sure love mile 15.  Forgot to hit my watch this time as I cheered other runners to try to get them to chase the darn 3:20 balloons.  Wondering where my friend/training partner is?  Probably a mile ahead. 

17: 7:33  No big deal but beginning to feel tightness in the hip where my sciatica had been acting up.  Try to exercise my foot to change the way I was landing.  Foot very stiff and arch and toes are in pain.  But I forced them to move to help my stride.

18-19:  15:49  (7:55s, if even)  Losing energy quick.  Lactic acid coming on thick. Brain becoming more and more drained, like working three night shifts in a row kind of feeling.  Wish I could have slept the last few weeks.  Didn't see mile 18 going up that ridiculously placed hill, but glad it was behind me and not in front of me when wondering where it was.

20:  8:04.  Whatever!!!  Hello body we are going downhill.  YOU like downhill.  Body's response:  Save energy, must save energy, going to meltdown soon.  Post partum friend Melanie rubs shoulders with me.  Go chase the 3:20 balloon I told her.  Last year she ran 3:11 but this year she had a baby July 29th.  So she was in front of me why is she now coming up to me?  I must have missed  passing her.  I cheer her on as she wizzes by.  So long speedy friend.

21: 7:09.  That was the last of my strength.  It was my brains way of trying to get my body to act ALIVE already.  Body's response: bad move, now I am going to meltdown in 4, 3, 2, 1 miles (that equals the 25.2 mile marker). 

22: 8:24.  What am I a yo-yo?  I think I am coming in and out of consciousness or my songs all have different tempos.  Somehow "another one bites the dust" does not seem appropriate right now, because I am about to "bite the dust".  But I see another friend Dr. Scott Mumford.  He had time enough to tell me he hit a wall at 18 and was barely hanging on.  I told him it was pretty tough and away I went. 

23:  7:52.  Now that's better body, brain start working together already.

24:  8:04.  It is still downhill but I am beginning to feel like I am going in slow motion.  Liked all the spectators though.  They were good to still come out in the rain.

25:  8:39.  Diagnol street dragged on for me.  Knew I was going to lose it soon during that mile.  Hello brain.  Are you there?  I mean are we trying finish strong or not?   Brain's response.  Sorry, signing out.   Zero mental ability.  Smoke inhalation. Vision getting blurry.  See all the people passing us?  You are in a pathetic state.  Body:  if you say so. 

25.2:  1:20.  That has to be off looking at my watch now.  No way was I running that fast.  Perhaps mile 25 I pushed my split button too late.  I don't know if I really saw mile 25 now.

26.2:   9:21.  The finish looked like a great place to be it was just that I couldn't really pull out the strength to get there.  I was like running in place or something.  I think I will go back to not wearing my iPod.  I am not sure it helps my concentration in a race.  Crossing the finish line was bless-ed.  Two army guys held me up:  Am I in heaven?  (just kidding).  That's when my vision turned wavy and they walked me to the tent.  I was glad I didn't pass out.  I felt very cold, so the blanket felt great.  Oh, about 20 seconds after me at the finish I was in shock to see my friend Kim.  Like where were you?  We were running together the whole time practically.  The same half split etc..  I am sure way different in between.  But there she was.  Like a true training partner.  And guess what?  Good old chip timing placed her 8 seconds in front of me but we were #114 and #115 for women out of 2180.  We were happy together.  That was a cool way to enjoy the whole experience of SGMs history making day of rain.