Go, you chicken fat, go away!

throw some water on her it makes the nagging stop!

If you try that, be sure to have one of the kids videotape it.

Wow that is some serious climbing!

Way to channel your ultra side!

hey great blog!!! I can't believe we made it up 2,947 elevation gain!!!

Burt,

That is amazing. Incredible elevation!! Someone ought to consider making that a Half Marathon course...Add a couple miles before the ascent.

And Mile NINE...nice place to stick 628 feet of elevation.

Fantastic way to bring in the New Year!

go burt, go! sounds like a tough run. way to kick off 1911!

how did you get back down?

and how close were you to havasupai?

WOW!!!!! That is some serious elevation gain!!!!

Happy New Year!!!!

(Love the pics.)

I thought the $20 bill sounded pretty exciting until I read about the $301 Chris picked up. I think he could have given you the $1 to even it out a little, 2 bills for you and 3 bills for him. I think I now remember loosing exactly $321 on that trail yesterday.

um can I have a loan? LOL

WOW! And all I got was a lousy plaque...

Way to hit the ascent today! Happy New Year!

What's all that white stuff?

I was just gonna ask that too, Rye. Some kind of weird sand I think...

Nice job Burt, I think you had more elevation gain in this one run that I did in all of 2010.

A run that REALLY pays!!

Almost 3,000 feet of elevation in 11 miles? That is incredible, really good job, can't believe the cash you found, never heard of anything like that.

April - you sure can have a loan. I think I saw your picture on the Kiva banner.

Trap - YouTube my own death? I think not.

April - I was channeling my Twinkies/Jun/ScottW side.

Cari - It was great to meet you. How long did you have to wait for me? That snowball I ate must have slowed me down. :)

PRE - Funny. They were talking about making it a half marathon. Man it would be a tough one, but certainly one to brag about.

allie - 1911? You really are an old lady. I got back down by crawling in a snowball and rolling down. Also Denise might have driven me. And the Hualapai Mountains are probably 200 miles away from Havasupai. I'll Google Map that later.

Teena Marie - Thanks, mileage queen!

Julie - We found out where the money came from. Apparently the Kwik Stop (not to be confused with the Kwik E Mart) had been robbed the night before. The culprit stuffed the money in his hoodie and took off on his bicycle. I also heard that Cody found a $20 on his way back down. I guess that one wasn't yours, but thank you for admitting that you were the culprit.

Karen - Plaque. Schmack. We give away random prize money on our runs. 2nd place. Last place. lol

Rye - I don't know what the white stuff was, but it was freaking me out.

Joe - I'm only upset I ran out of mountain. It would have been nice to get 3000 even.

RAD - It pays to go running, I always say.

Flat - I should post an elevation profile.

Nicely done Burty!

Toby! You just reminded me that I forgot to blog about the most important part; the stream of blood down both sides of my outer abdomen. I felt the soft tissue irritation around mile 6. I unzipped my coat to see the red stains that had soaked through my white undershirt and through my yellow TOU shirt. You can see the sweat stains in my first picture, but I wasn't about to take my jacket off. Then on the ride down the mountain my window was the only one that was fogged up.

Somebody had some serious holes int heir pockets!!! I have never found more than a dime when running, lucky you!

HAPPY NEW YEAR BURT. Looking forward to seeing you in February.

Oh, how did you like running in the snow??? Nice change?

Wow Burt!!! You got paid to run... I guess you could say you've turned pro!!! ;-) awesome job!!!

this blog entry is missing a graph, what a wasted opportunity!

nice one on finding the money, i bet it really belongs to some crazy drug nuts or something. we don't even have £100 notes here! and i have seen about 2 £50 in my entire life!

What an awesome first run of 2011. I keep wondering why someone would drop $321 for you guys to find.

Burt, way cool to find all that dinero. But WOW! a 3000 foot climb over 11 miles is CRAZY! I'm way impressed.

$321 dollars, now, that is a productive run.

Happy new year !

You found my pirate loot...hand over the booty!!

Sorry to hear about your bloody nips- perhaps a shirt that is lined with a soft short haired animal skin. A squirrel skin running shirt??

Great run- it sounds like a killer eleveation gain. Y'all conquered the mountain!! Congrats!

Kelli - We gave the money back to the Kwik Stop. They were kind of surprised that someone would do that. I'm not a fan of snow. Never have been. Well, the first time I saw it I was. Then I went out to play in it and said, "This sucks." But the snow had melted off the road all the way up, so it wasn't bad. And let me know if you want to stop at my house to shower when you're done running Ragnar depending on who's in your van. :P

MD - It was as they say, easy come, easy go.

Chris - I so wanted to make a graph, but didn't have time. :(

RAB - Let's just say he wasn't the smartest thief in the world.

Rhett - You should have joined us. But I guess you were too busy running your 33 miles...

Eric - How many pesos is that? 3933?

QP - Hand over your booty? I'll put my hand on your booty! No, wait. People! That's not what I meant.

happy new year burt... is that your twin brother in the 1st photo ???

LOL @ Sam! That's blogger Kerry Herbine.

Sam read my mind! LOL

Oh my gosh, you Brits are racist! You think all Yanks that wear glasses look the same.

I need to run a race where they drop cash on the trail to motivate the runners. nice job!

ME, shower??? Are you kidding me? I never shower after I run! EVER!

You were so honest to give the money back, I wonder if anyone claimed it?!? Hmmm....maybe I will fly out there and claim it.

Scott - Aren't the streets of Logan paved with gold? Or is that cheese? And no cats?

Kelli - I forgot you never shower. It's a wonder I like you so much.

Cari - let me apologize for all the emails you're getting in your inbox. It's just that I'm so popular. People love me. Well, they love to pick on me. But I'll take it.

I smell like lemons, always.

Nice run there Burt. See Mountain running is fun.

Check me out. I'm hot!

I think the reason this blog made the Hot Discussion Board was because I posted a picture with money in it. It's like when you hear coins dropped. Everyone wants to scramble to help pick it up. But if you hear a baby get dropped, you just turn and pretend you didn't hear anything.

Now you rank up there with Allie and Nan!

Nice picture.

Regarding your daughter, I don't think Dexter would approve.

"Follow the money trail." Nice one. That's funny. (No sarcasm, that really is funny.)

PRE - Do you mean Hannah Montana?

Chad - It wasn't meant to be funny. JK.

In order of "like"

1. Returning the money

2. Elevation profile

3. Mountain photo

That was a great weekend adventure. The runs that involve mud, climbing fences or hitchhiking are always the best runs. I'll have to add convenience store robberies to the list.

You actually have mountains in AZ? I thought you lived in a desert.

Hey Burt...not Hannah Montana. I was referring to the Dexter series.

please post an arrow for havasupai.

loving the view!

What did I miss? The money was stolen?

Never mind, I found it in the comments.

Here's an article on the robbery. I guess they haven't caught the guy yet.

http://www2.az-independent.com/2011/01/04/store-robber-sought-in-kingman/

allie - I posted the picture you wanted on my Jan. 8 blog.

Crazy crimes happening in AZ.

I would rather run a marathon than watch Pirates of the Carribean, I cannot sit still for THAT long!

Chris, watch it while you run a marathon on the TM :)

Burt, nice work on getting out and getting the miles in - with or without the ibuprofen. That surge must've been because your load was so much lighter after dropping off the movie.

Chris - POTC - BEST...MOVIE...EVER!!!

RAD - I like you're thinking, both on the treadmill movie watching and the lightened load.

I listened to the Pirataes of the Carribean while I was running my ultra in September. Until the ipod got wet from all the sweating and quit working.

Your super speedy pace is well, super speedy! Nice work!!

QP - I listen to it at work all the time. Watching gets me in trouble, but I can listen and visualize :)

Nice surge!!! I also like POTC, but every time I watch it, the kids are being way too loud, so I can't ever understand anything that is said in the movie.

BTW, I started up my blogger friend list and you are number one.....so far.

I have the movie memorized, so no problem for me. But movies I watch for the first time I usually put the closed captions on.

Excellent idea. I'll try that next time

Diggin' the surge.

Ibuprofen is great, I take it for aches and pains, headaches, dementia, and before watching the Texas Longhorns play football.

I think you copied that from my blog from when I saw Prince of Persia!

Maybe I did Kelli. But I swear it was subliminal. Please don't sue me for copyright infringements.

if you were in an adiabatic system, you would reach such a state of equilibrium, but since you were in an open system (and producing heat from chemical energy, to boot...) such a state of equilibrium would be difficult to attain...

duh! Yeah you are stuck up

Nevels - in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Lily - talk to the hand.

Oh, you're one of THOSE runners.

I assumed you would be impossible to shut up.

DG - I did talk to him, but it was while I was on the run. No way I was going to stop and talk.

Chad - I'm only impossible to shut up online. In person I'm very shy. Ask any of the 38 bloggers I've met in real life.

Chad ... it is a fact, despite his non-stop chatter on the blog, in real life he is incredibly shy (or stuck up, I originally thought shy, but now that I think about it ...). I think maybe he is not shy, but he does live with a bunch of women (none of whom seemed shy to me) so maybe he is just the thoughtful, introspective sort ;-)

Burt, I'm THe same way. talk a lot on the blog, but in person you can't get a word out of me. People always tell me I laugh at everything, so if you and I ever meet, we can just stand there and laugh like BeavIs and Butthead to avoid any awkwardness.

YES! We have now discovered the blog Beavis and Butthead...now which one is which?

Nice work on that run today Burt! Nice speed and miles to boot. Walkers, psshh! Who needs 'em?!?

Burt and Ernie, does not take much effort to give the poor guy a few grunts, maybe pass some wind his way, just the right thing to do.

Back to running, nice avg pace, faster and faster.

Stay Kool, B of BS Rools out

Wow i had no idea how stuck you were! this explains soo much!

Bonnie - maybe I'm just a creeper like RAD said.

DG - If I can throw a few Dr. Hibbert random laughs in there too, I'm golden.

Brent - You never know what you'll get when you pass wind on a run.

April - The hand. Talk to it.

Talk to the finger cuz the hand ain't listen'

April! That's it. I'm going to lunch. When I get back I expect a 750 word essay on how sorry you are for that last comment!

Psh!!! As if!

Great pace Burt.

Way to leave the walker in your dust Burt. :)

Nice snub, he was not worthy to talk to you.

Death is the ultimate equilibrium...

When passing walkers I like to go to hi-five them and then KO them. Ha. Walk on that.

I thought you had to ride a bicycle to be a stuck up snob. Oh wait, never mind.

You blogged Scott on the 4th. I read it on the 4th. And the 5th. On the 5th, I realized what you were talking about.

Very funny!

Huh, I put Tuesday's run on Monday and Wednesday's run on Tuesday. Oh well.

Burt-again, i mention febreeze...perhaps a little personal running size one that you can tie to your shoe? When passing walkers, i usually give them a little "good game" and a pat on their hineys...I make more friends that way!

Pat their hineys? I like your style. Your hand would be soaking wet if you pat mine.

Man you really are a snob. If you think that guy actually calculated how far you ran between the two times he saw you, think again. He was too busy thinking about his own problems. Next time you could at least give him a high five or a "Have a good day," or something.

Way to go, posting your runs on the wrong days. Sheesh.

Nothing like the feeling of new shoes to keep you floating on air for a few days.

Are these the raffle prize shoes? I bet they feel extra good when they're free.

GREAT run today! Don't you just love a New Year?/ Ok, help me with the ragnar thing...

expect the first ghost when the bell tolls 1...

DG - You posted your comment on the wrong day!

Joe - these are the raffle shoes. Free feels better. It tastes better. It looks better.

Karen - don't listen to Nevels. You'll only get more confused. I went running with one gal that was on my Wasatch Back Ragnar team from last year, a guy on my current Del Sol Ragnar team this year, and another gal that I'm sure will be on a future Ragnar team with me. You do know what Ragnar is, don't you?

I've heard that free is usually faster too.

The haunting run sounds good!

Tastes better? You eat your shoes?

They are a good source of fiber.

YAY! Good game!!

Scott is super jealous of the near hiney pat.

SERIOUSLY!!! I had NO IDEA what I was in for when I started reading this BLOG!!! What I have read can never be UN-read!!! :-)

Karen - Maybe you can teach me the proper technique for butt slapping. Do I only do it to other runners that I pass? Runners that pass me? Men? Women? Women pushing strollers?

Jun - I promise to not only pat Scott's tushy but to pinch it, too.

Cari - You might try some type of memory altering therapy or hypnosis. Just be glad I kept my hands to myself when we ran together. I mean, Kerri was looking pretty good if you know what I mean. LOL!

Mmmmmm...Pizza. Maybe someone stole the pizza and ate it on the run as quickly as possible.

DG - that does seem to be the trend these days. Maybe I should have brought it back and asked for a reward.

If it's still there tomorrow. grab it and take it back. Would be funny to see their reaction.

All this talk about pizza and all of a sudden there is an ad at the top of the page for Papa John's. Any large pizza for $10!!!

Yeah, the banners often reflect the stuff you type about. There has to be key words they search for. Not sure why I saw one for pole dancing a while back.

Maybe it read your mind.

Yikes. Technology's getting pretty scary.

I love slapping and grabbing the butts of my running partners. Come run with me sometime and You will see.

Was the old man's hiney wet too?

Still though... I would be amazingly impressed with someone who could down an entire Little Caesar's Pizza within a tenth of the mile, on the run after having stolen it.

Chad - Not if he was wearing Depends.

Scott - I see with my eyes, not my butt.

David - Where have you been? Hey, come run the 5k down here on the 20th. You could win yourself a pair of new shoes...I hear your in the market for some :)

I've been around... I would be down with doing the 5k but we are right in the middle of track season and I don't think my coach would allow it. It's true though, I need some new shoes.

You seemed so normal in person ;-)

He puts on a really good facade Cari.

Typing Febreeze in each post has not yet yielded a Febreeze add...hmmm. Burt, i am going to have to dub you Sir Soggy Bottom...maybe we should type "Depends" in each post to try and get a coupon.

The "Good Game" hiney pat should be used often and without discrimination. We use it as a reward, like when someone runs well, we can say "Good Game", when passing someone to give them a "boost" or handing off in a 200 mile relay when one of our members dropped the baton at mile 62 and we still have to hand off something or be DQ'ed. heck, we have even "good Gamed" the officials...

Putting in some nice mileage lately! You're a beast.

The creeper strikes again! (well, almost - next time go for it!!)

Too bad the pizza was gone. But on the bright side of things, I finally found a discount for pole dancing lessons from an ad on your blog. Thanks!

Karen - I hope you don't good game the kids you coach. That's kind of frowned upon in the Obama administration.

Derunzo - It's gotta be the shoes!

RAD - Go for it? What if it was your uncle? Is your uncle black?

Joe - Those pole dancing lessons should come in handy in Iraq. Hopefully they'll help you get into Bin Laden's inner circle.

Nothin like a nice butt pat! Winters are pretty lonely here in Idaho.....

I'm bored at work right now. Won't get off until 2:00 am.

Rye - practice some but pats on some potatoes.

DG - you can join me watching the Suns lose :(

I already listened to the Jazz lose their game. Bums. They sure have been playing crappy lately.

Havasupai is your old stomping ground, right? I went there as a Boy Scout and I still remember how beautiful that was. Does that tribe still live down there? I hope so.

Believe it or not I've never been to Havasupai. Or Tucson.

What is google? :)

If you don't know what google is, you better google it.

Nice run Burt! Hope your fingers thaw soon.

Burt, what did the ghosts of Ragnar past show you? Your running very good this year, do not listen to those gobblins runners of doom.

stay Kool, B of bs rools out

RAD - what would I do without fingers? I would have no social life!

Brent - Good will always win over evil. Thanks.

cold my foot...come and run up here! Nice miles though!

burt - your comment to RAD just made me laugh out loud like a little old lady.

thanks for the map. 110 miles isn't that far. get yourself to havasupai! you won't regret it.

i have never been to the great salt lake or zion NP. yeah...

I am an little old lady, and I laughed very hard as well. You ARE running very well Burt - when is Ragnar?

If you lose your fingers, I'll get my pirate friends to make you 10 little hooks we can attach to your stubs.

Or maybe 9 hooks and one big q-tip for cleaning your nose & ears out with.

I hope Michael still did 15!

Toby - not my foot. My fingers!

allie - my comment about not ever having been to Tucson was made before I knew about the shootings. Just need to get that on public record.

Auntie - Ragnar is the last Friday and Saturday of February. Can't wait!

QP - Q-tip is a good idea. I am quite the nose picker.

April - I think he did. In fact, his wife Corena left with their station wagon so he had to run at least 3 miles home.

That 110 miles sounds like a good ultra race for you. Looking forward to the race report.

Whoaa hooks instead of fingers now you wont be able to take care of any business ! during your run

I dont get it you should have gone 10 if it was between 15 and 5 really I just dont get it why half way come on you must have a stronger personality than this Burt you must !!!!

Joe - Now you've got me curious what kind of obstacles I'd run into if I went in a straight line. I guess the I-40, the Grand Canyon, some rattlesnakes, mountains, cliffs, wash beds. Yeah, sounds like a great ultra.

Sam - My plan was to go back out and run the extra miles to get 30 for the week, but it just didn't happen :(

nice double, mr. burt.

flags are half mast here as well. prayers to everyone in AZ.

Trying to put all the rest of us to shame for not hitting doubles in the winter, huh? Well, I'll take my shame! :)

Obama ordered all flags half mast through the 14th (I believe) in honor of those that died in AZ. An unnecessary tragedy of epic porportions if you ask me (not that you did).

nice job on the double!!!

Burt, you may need that speed telling them good morning ladies, what happened to the little china women? Don't mess with Liberty. Canal banks - save you money and cat fish - good consistent training.

Stay Kool, B of BS rools out

You missed an epic moment to "Good Game" the "ladies"...

4:30 am? Whattya nuts?

I saw Uncle Sam AND the Statue of Libery today. Nice double. Now tomorrow, do a triple.

allie - that's the nicest thing you've ever said... and you've said some nice things.

RAD - I didn't ask you, but I value your opinion above all others.

Cari - thanks. I'm going to give these double things a shot for a while. I figure they're good Ragnar training.

Brent - come to think of it, I should have called them cross dressing freaks.

Karen - Oh man!!!!!! I blew it. If I could turn back time...

Scott - I had to go to work early today. And my wife didn't believe that I would get up that early to go running so I had to prove her wrong.

Dale - Can part of that triple be the consumption of a 32 oz. root beer float?

Yes....Mmmmmm, that sounds so good right now.

Even if you really didn't want to get up at 4am, you definitely had to commit once your wife said she didn't believe you. Way to score the victory!

I'm jealous of your winter weather.

2 a days eh burt? What's going on here, trying to out do all of us?

double run double donuts !

and no pee breaks whats going on ??

sweat rating for recently is out the roof Im not sure whats wrong with me !!! must be the change from warm to cold weather you think it would have the opposite effect :(

this is just calling out for a graph of mile pace vs sweat

I'm sorry you were scared.

Doubles, huh?

You know what they say about canal banks...

Bannerman is back

http://Sammie.fastrunningblog.com/

You're weird.

But I like you.

pitbull, pigeon & a pit stop.

hate to say it, but all pigeons poop, Burt. Scary about dogs sometimes. When Drew & I were back in Mich for vacay, a pit-mix ran up to us and kept trying to push us down (in a seemingly happy way). We stopped running and kept yelling out to the few houses to come get their blankin' dog & nobody responded. We tried to run some more and it kept following us, getting in our way and jumping up on us. Turned around and started going door to door to no avail. Finally, I told Drew to go ono ahead and I would try to distract it. At that point it charged me with its mouth open and grazed my leg with its teeth (probably not a "bite" persay, but still pretty spooky.) It ran away and started to chase Drew again, so i flagged down a dude on a 4-wheeler and he chased the dog off. I LOVE dogs, (mom trains them, esp Dobermans) and I learned quickly at a young age that ALL dogs bite. Irresponsible dog owners--you should always have their dogs on a leash unless they are in your enclosed area. Maybe the pigeon could have pooped on him for you?

There should be a law that if a dog is without a leash then the owner of the dog should be put on a leash for some time. !!!

Most states have laws that make the owner criminally responsible for any dog that is off a leash and attacks another person. Utah is not one of them, as far as I know.

Every pitbull I've ever seen has been agressive like that. One time (at band camp) a pitbull got loose in my neighborhood and it had a poor girl terrified and frozen on the sidewalk. I stopped to help her and the dog charged me. Once it got to me, it stopped and turned around and charged at the girl. It kept going back and forth like that. It didn't look angry, but it was still terrifying. Luckily animaal control showed up after about ten minutes. Someone must have saw what was going on.

Nice run, by the way.

Jun - that's sweet :)

Merri - I like the letter P.

Karen - ah yes. The pitbulls one weakness, bird stool.

Eric - I thought they had that law in Mexico.

Dale - you saved that girl's life. You're my hero!

Two words: Pepper Spray

(The kind made for bears not people)

Very scary, glad you made it through

I'm with rattletrap - carry pepper spray! Even the stuff for people gives them enough of a shock to keep them at bay.

Nice run, and no wonder that bird was all alone...people like you have given it a complex!

Trap - At first I saw it in a parking lot and a guy was yelling at it. I thought he was calling it, but I think he was trying to get rid of it. Then as I ran further I saw a police officer that was probably looking for it but didn't seem to be in too big of a hurry.

Mark - don't worry about me. I could kill a dog in 1.6 seconds.

RAD - maybe that particular light pole was the bird outhouse. Who am I to judge?

Sounds like an exciting run. But then again, your runs are always pretty exciting. The only thing that could have topped your morning is if the poo had landed on your head. Nice job avoiding being pooped on and mauled.

Melody - Oh, I was watching for poo droppings. But I love pigeons. Don't you remember watching Bert and Ernie as a kid. What was Bert's favorite kind of bird?

I thought that was a Rubber Duckie--very different from a pigeon...

Funny about the dog. I was running today and one dog jumped on my right leg while I was airborne...I was ready to break his neck but the two owners called it off and I did not need to follow through.

Oh my gosh Karen! That's Ernie. Here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bf9d7rSf_Ks

PRE - It jumped on your leg? Was it a "happy" dog?

I think it would have made a better story if you had pepper sprayed the dog (and the pigeon).

That's really scary. I definitely recommend carrying mace.

Who needs mace when I've got thunder and lightning? Hoo ah!

You are getting serious now, nice job!

How disappointed are you that Burt Hoovis has nothing to post a comment on?

Excellent work Burt! paces and miles look good. Good luck with getting up for work, but the overtime check will make it all worth it!

Serious Doubles great work dude !

Joe - I already sent him a private message and no response, so yeah, pretty disappointed.

RAD - I'm up! Now to get off the computer and get my butt out the door.

Sammie - No doubles today. Forget about it!

I meah, fuhget about it.

Whooa Burt, you ran that far? I am impressed. Looks like the days of 3-4 milers are done eh? :)

Wow Burt, a double run. Awesome.

good good job job burt burt.

Doubles are great if you can work them into your life. Great mileage Burt!

Lily - oh no. There will still be plenty of 3 and 4 mile days. Trust me.

Eric - dobles!

allie - you are CRACKing me up.

Rye - I'm hoping to get fired from my job so that I can fit triples into my life. jk.

Looking great, good job news too. Sometimes it feels good to get flat-out busy after being slow for a while.

two adays? Man I have missed so much!

Mark - It feels real good. Even if it's stuff I've never done in my life.

April - You're so last week. lol!

Wow, lots of running for a Thursday!

Doesn't everybody run long on Thursday :P

Have fun tomorrow! Will there be snow?

For God's sake, whatever you do, don't run in the white/classic blue ones next. Run in the silver ones to even them out.

Run Burt! Run!!!!

Why did I think the second paragraph of this post was so funny? Nice job on the Mizunos! :) :) :)

Kelli - no snow. It was 50 degrees out. I think it snowed once at Usery Pass in the last 100 years.

Joe - Maybe I can run backwards in them to take mileage off like Ferris Beuller putting the car in reverse on stands.

Derunzo - I'm a runnin'!

Teena - is 716 miles too much to put on a pair of shoes?

If you get the two pairs equal then you will be able to mix them up and wear a right silver gold with a left white blue classic

Chris - only a real idiot would do something that silly.

Well, since you did not run in snow, you HAVE to run backwards now.

Yes! I'm in the top 100 for miles on the year. So what if I'm #99?

nice job:)

That was a very visual post. But eew, about the BNS.

Thanks Josse.

CinC - I could have made it more visual, if you catch my drift. Or should I say drip?

nice job, burt. i actually think the early morning hours are known as the hand crack of dawn. butt you can call it whatever you'd like.

and for the record, BNS is much more disturbing than CHS.

i wish i were one of those pf changers tomorrow. i even booked a hotel room last fall just in case i decided to run it. i cancelled it yesterday.

SICK!

Most chicks really dig the BNS from my experience.

I need some help with the acronyms!

I am learning quite a bit here. Thanks for the education! Burt... remember how we said the weather guy was the same guy that wrote the fortune cookie fortunes? Well the darnedest thing happened. I got my fortune cookie and the fortune said 'I peed in your rice'. Ever get one of those?

allie - don't cancel that room! I'll take it. I could use a night away from this crazy mad house. Er, I mean, I love it here!

Lily - it's a medical condition!

Scott - really? Maybe I should wear a sandpaper bra.

Rye - urban dictionary. You'll find all the help you need there.

Dan - serious? Oh man that's funny.

Butt cracks and bloody nipples. I can always count on you for inspiration!

I got hungry reading your blog and thinking about Chang's tasty food...until the BNS.

I've said it before & I'll say it again, you could really benefit from some furry shirt liners. Or even fur patches sewn into the right spot on your shirts.

Imagine how luxurious it would feel to have mink gliding over and cushioning your chest on a run.... then the girls would use their real sexy voices.

Nice run, btw. Elevation, distance, and speed!

Put some bandaids over those babies! or some body glide!

QP - If you make me a mink bra, I will totally wear it.

April - Body Glide is $8 a stick. I glopped on some Vaseline, but it's just not cutting it. No pun intended.

Nice run Burt and killer finish!

IMO spending 8 bucks on body glide is better than bloody nipples!

Burt, butt cracks and sexy, don't seem to go together, the run looks like the middle of no where? Are you sure they girls were really their? Dorks and running go together, were are in great company. Good run, up and down,

Stay kool, B of BS rools out

April - Thanks. I remember last time I ran this and had a sub 8 for the 9th mile. I told Glen that I've never run a 9th mile that fast EVER.

Other April - That's your opinion. Let's agree to disagree.

Brent - The road is a favorite for cyclists and people going to the lake or offroading. It's one of the longest steepest hills you can run in this area. The start of the run is where you rent tubes to go tubing down the Salt River.

Maybe next time wear mesh? Just kidding man. Cool graphics, I only wish I was smart enough to figure out how to do that stuff.

the obvious solution is not to wear a shirt

or wear a shirt but cut out holes where your nipples are to avoid any rubbing?

I had BNS @ SGM & OMG I LOL'd.

hey, you were running by my house!

So this Saturday I need to run 20 miles. I think Bethany might be running with me and she wants to run Usery Pass... wanna join us (if not for the whole thing, for a part of it). P.S. I won't be running fast.

hey, did you drop me from your friends? I'll remember that!

LOL Camille. If someone hasn't blogged for a month, they get dropped. I can add you back now :)

I might join you this Saturday, although we talked about running South Mountain. You should join me Thursday night at Las Sendas.

What time are you going? This might sound lame, but Thursday night is BUNCO night, and I really need the girls night. Bunco starts at 7.

Ha! My wife has BUNCO this Wed. We start at 7:30 pm. We've been doing it pretty regularly every week, so feel free to join us.

Maybe I'll catch you next week then. Thursdays can be crazy. Brandon's calling requires him to go to meetings on Thursday nights, so I'll have to see what his plan is. How far do you run? Who is "we"

Choke - WTB?

Camille - Glen Lowery, Marilyn Freeman, Lyndsay Jones, Elizabeth Curtis, and Natalie Carter.

Dawn's butt crack really is the best place to start a run at for sure.

Serious mileage!

Let's talk about something a little less gross, like vomit.

Merri - yep. You really don't want to hang around that place for too long.

Derunzo Funzo - now if I can just be more consistent.

Chad - I've yet to throw up while running. Maybe I need to push myself harder.

Burt, spring for the glide. Runners warehouse has it for $5. Plus shipping. Oh, crap. I guess it's still going to cost you $8 unless you buy some new kicks, then shipping is free.

Maybe she finds bloody nips sexy?

Kam - I've been wearing my UnderArmor shirts more regularly now. They seem to help. As for new kicks, I prefer to win mine in raffles. That way I don't have to pay for them ;)

Tracy - you could be right. Chicks dig battle wounds.

If I've said it once I've said it a million times shins hate speed work.

Burt, Is it really wise to push as hard as you can when things tighten up?

Merri - What if you say it twice?

Fly - are you asking because you don't know or are you trying to teach me a lesson?

Neither. Pushing hard while tight, might not be the wisest thing but sometimes it is fun to throw caution to the wind.

Which you've done more than once lately... Really I just wanted to leave a comment on your blog because you told Sasha he was hot (technically you just implied it).

Haha! Well I took a risk there, but you know it's not frowned upon for men to kiss each other on the lips in Russia. Sasha told me himself.

I bet he did!

I knew you'd be back to you minimal mileage days in no time. I was soooo right!

Come do some speed work with me. It'll put you out for a week :)

Maybe my blog entry for today will cheer you up.

I think you just need to loosen up a bit.

Lily - at least I'm not in need of lobe replacements.

Tracy - how can you harbor so much hate over so long a period. Don't you know that it will eat you up inside? I bet you don't know what to do with the rest of your life now that you're out of the revenge business!

Melody - Hardy har!

I'm not done yet. Maybe next week there will be more.

Don't start a fight you can't finish.

I'm not starting a fight. I'm seeking to amuse myself and others. I'm doing a service to humanity.

I have to admit, it is amusing. Bravo Tracy. Bravo.

Tracy you are awesome!

Tigins & Blips (Tight Shins & Bloody Nips)

keep up the hard work so my vocab can continue to develop

tight shins are a precursor to cracked hand syndrome. enjoy.

blips??? I'm laughing so hard I can't see..hahahah

Nice work on that speed work with all your tigins and blips this morning!

(did I mention how much I love my sister? I can't think of anything witty to say, so I'm just riding on her coat-tails. Everything I need to know I learned from her!).

I noticed in Tracy's picture you amazingly are able to keep the same expression on your face through the painful-looking "blips." Very impressive.

I have not read the word P90X for a while and it makes me sad.

Nicely done Tracy!

Cripes.

I have been on this blog site since October 2010.

I had no idea.

were you serious about not running for the rest of the week?

I've decided that I'm never running again since Tracy hurt my feelings so bad.

I'm sure you've been crying nonstop since Tuesday. It's hard to run through sobs.

ahahhaha...too funny!

They're biased toward small feet! I think we need to go find a can of gas and some matches....

a little of everything at a potluck? you're a brave man. with big feet.

it was nice seeing you again at the free monthly 5k. i look forward to february.

Good run.

Good pace of 8:13 for "Easy".

And what the hell is up with this? The three of us on this sight after midnight.

Isn't it great to be at a point in your running where this pace felt EZ??? YAY! 23 1/2? Really, burt? Oh, nice taper...

RAD - and put a burning cross on their front lawn?

allie - it's always a pleasure to see you, even though I know how very far apart we are. It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star. I could almost taste your brownies this time.

PRE - I don't know what time zone you're in, but it ain't no midnight here. :P

Karen - you know what they say about big feet. The bigger the feet, the bigger the shoes.

Looks like u had a good time!!! Miss running with u Burt!!!

Everyone should read MD's PF Chang's Marathon report!

Burt - Hi.

Rad, Allie and I wrote after midnight.

PRE - I was up late watching Cape Fear. The 1962 version.

PRE - Cripes that's late!

You know what they say about big feet?? You must have HUGE hands.

23 1/2? That's my Ronald - McDonald.

Scott - the better to smack you upside the head with.

QP - I worked for Ronald for 5 years.

I thought I told you to loosen up!

Was that a 5.73K PR? FYI my shoes are 23 3/4.

I think if sasquatch wore shoes he would wear a size 23.5!

Melody - I felt loose today. Thanks for the advice.

Joe - 23 3/4?? Not for long. I just got an email about some pills that I can take to enhance my feet. Or something.

April - Clearly you haven't seen my back hair.

Vi-foot-gra

Oh, you've heard of it? 1 billion pills sold. It must work.

Great pictures. I'm glad your shins didn't hurt.

that looks like an awesome run Burt!! I like it a lot. Maybe Phoenix isn't as bad as I thought ;)

Beautiful photos from the trail! I'm envious of your view.

Love the pics! Nice work on the run, glad all the little aches worked themselves out. Way to get some VERT BURT!

Catherine - thanks. It's nice to know you care.

Bonnie! Actually, that doesn't hurt my feelings. We should run South Mtn. together sometime. Once I saw a coyote.

QP - I do have a nice view.

RAD - I was hoping someone would use that rhyme!

show me the scotsman, who doesn't love the thistle

shoe me the englishman who doesn't love the rose

show me the true-blooded aggie from utah who doesn't love the spot [stomp, clap] where the saaaaage bruuuuush grooooowws.

nice view. happy shins. all is well, all is well.

5.5 miles with 600 feet vert. Nice run. And great pictures.

Looks like a great run. Is it snake country out there?

Beautiful run, really miss the desert some days and those pictures don't help at all!

allie - I have a good friend that's an Aggie. But he says you're not a true Aggie unless you're kissed under the A. (Not sure what that means.)

PRE - Thanks. The pictures don't do the view justice. You can see pretty much all of Phoenix from up there.

Derunzo - I haven't seen any snakes yet. Then again, I've only seen a handful of them out here. We're so urbanized. But I did see a lizard on my block wall yesterday, so maybe soon.

Flat - You commented on my blog 24 seconds after I commented on yours.

Now I'm curious about whether Allie is a true Aggie. :)

Allie know's she wantsa route for the Utes ;)

Hey Burt those picture are beautiful and your vert is sweet! Those splits and that mileage aren't to shabby either! Nice work!

Cathy - To be a true BYU Idahoan you just have to copy a kiss under the Y.

Lily - that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Now you're my best friend.

Wow - way to drop Melody. I'd think naming a child after you would trump a blog comment.

I'm so fickle.

correction: you are only a "true aggie" if you have kissed on top of the A. it's an A-shaped pedestal on campus. you have to kiss on it at midnight on a full moon.

you become a "true blue aggie" if you ride the bull statue naked -- bonus points if you do it in the winter. yes, logan is a fun place to live.

i may or may not be a true blue aggie, and i may or may not have been caught wearing only boots for performing (or not performing) that stunt.

I bet you were wearing the boots..and only the boots, Uh hum. yep.

That doesn't sound sanitary.

Burt...Vert...Burt...Vert. No wonder you like that word.

vert is trev back-weirds.

Love the photos. The desert is beautiful. I don't care what others say about it.

Bishop - I agree. Now we have to convince Kelli.

I saw someone dressed up as lady liberty yesterday, but it wasn't a cute old lady, it was some geeky teenage boy with earrings coming out of places that I don't think the french though earrings should come out of when they carved Lady Liberty for us.

Good run! That is great about waiting for the bus with Emily!

I just wanted to comment so I would feel loved as my inbox filled up all day with comment notifications. I hope you don't feel too used, Burt.

Camille! So glad you commented today. I was going to ask how your run went with Bethany Saturday. Maybe you blogged about. I'll go check.

Kam - It's cool. You just have to promise to read all the comments and not just use them to get a bunch of emails. Then I would feel viloated.

Camille - those Liberty Tax Service guys are everywhere. I've had various friends of Facebook post about them, too, including David Bond. Speaking of David Bond and Bethany, should I tell the story about the time you were telling Bethany the story of you and David and Falcon Hill?

I like it when you giggle like a school girl burt.

I usually send my boys out the door to run to the end of the cul-de-sac and around the corner by the church with a "I think you can make it" type comment as the bus is rounding the corner and coming down the street.

Merri - that only happens when you tickle my feet.

Julie - If anything, that's good exercise for them.

little old lady. that's all i got from this post.

I learn something new about you in every one of your posts. Now I know you are an anti-immigration extremist and a cagey drug dealer. I never knew that.

You have waaay too much fun on runs. That is it...I'm waving at random people from now on!

Joe - I'm an equal opportunists when it comes to people falling off roofs.

April - I think I have so much fun because it's actually kinda warm over here. No yaktrax for me!

You could have filmed your run and made a public service announcement that runners are people, too.

By the way, DonGardinero is no more. I will now be addressed as DaleG...Or just Dale, if you prefer.

I thought that was you. Can I be your one and only friend again for a few days?

My favorite part is the image of Emily climbing on the bus and waving bye bye. Cuteness.

OK Burt, you can be my one and only friend for a few days.

Sick, and yet amusing...I actually work with illegal immigrants that snort coke and at times, dress like Lady Liberty. Small world...

Nan - She had both arms waving today. It was cute.

Karen - I hope you good game them.

I think I'd get fired...I save that for my friends...

Burt, like the way you make a daily run a crazy adventure, next time, slap liberty on the butt as you go by and help senior push that load.

Not, really, never take my advice

Good consistent running, Stay Kool, B of bS Rools out

Brent - the other day when Liberty was a 20-yr old dude in sunglasses I tried to slap him on the butt, but I was running too fast and missed.

Do you have something against Mexicans?

No Eric. I'm all for Mexicans...

...all for them falling off roofs!

you're crazy

Crazy good looking.

Lady liberty is all up ons :)

Stud Man!

grey shirt sweaty bns man...who wouldn't?

I was looking uber-cute in my white Running 4 Nie shirt this morning.

well, okay then maybe she does.

She definitely wants you. It took her this long to muster up the courage to initiate the high-5 though...she's a little shy.

All the ladies want you Burt. Duh!

April - I'll try to get a picture with her tomorrow.

Scott - and most of the men, too.

She wants me was all I needed to read today.

Hi Burt. Hope all is well, sounds like it is. What runner are you in Ragnar? Just hoping we will get a chance to race.

Mikelle - I want to be runner #3, but I have a dilemma. That Saturday is child of record baptisms in my stake. I have a child that turns 8 in Feb. I told her she would have to wait 'til Mar. She threw a guilt trip on me. Can you believe that? An 8 year old that knows how to throw guilt trips? "I'm more important than a race." The problem with me being runner #3 is that puts me finishing my last run at around 9:30am assuming we get our 8am start time. The baptismal ceremony starts at 10am. No good. But my bishop is running Ragnar, so I'm going to talk him into having a separate ceremony for my daughter. He should understand, right?

Burt, should I refer you to the handbook myself? Members should not ask for exceptions to be made to the preset dates for stake or ward baptisms. That was me with my primary president hat on, now I'll take it off and tell you (as a runner) that if the bishop is running he'll understand and it shouldn't be a problem. Just don't get too upset if you get the handbook pulled on you - it's been the case many times lately in my stake!

Didn't they recently update the handbook? What about the fact that grandma can't make it because she's an accountant and it's in the middle of tax season and she'll lose some clients if she takes off that particular date?

I suppose I could quit paying my tithing for a few weeks, and use the excuse of worthiness. What would Bishop Rhett think?

To answer your question Kelli, I want to be runner #3, but I may have to switch with runner #1 or even switch vans to make it work.

Burt, now, the daze of running, lady or dude liberty, enjoy the day dreaming. Burt, have you chosen the easy or hard legs, not lady or dude liberty, I mean the Ragar race legs. My team for the lake to lake is having some debat over the legs, just give me the uphill legs.

Good luck, runners have great legs, B of BS Rools ut

hmmm some bns! yum! I can totally see why she wants you!

Brent - there would be no debate between us. I love the downhill.

That is an interesting little quandary you have on your hands!!! I think that you should just let me run your leg for you, and then you will only have to run 2 of them! Either way, I am sure we will see you somewhere as we are both Van #1 and Van #2! I am runner # 5 and 6.

Good luck, throw the handbook out but keep paying your tithing. BAD things happen when you do not follow those basic principles. BAD.

Burt... Secretly we all want you for one reason or another!?!?

I went to the comments before even looking to see what you RAN today! For the record, Lady Liberty usually has one hand up holding that torch thingy...HMMM...when relays and baptisms combine...sure there is a "good game" moment in there somewhere...

The clear solution is to simply change your daughter's birth certificate. "Actually, sweetie you were born in 2004, not 2003. The state department printed it wrong." Problem solved. Until next year...

Is there a lake near the end of the race? You can do the baptism there!

I wish I had sidewalks. They haven't been invented out here yet.

Congratulations! New PRs are the best!

Thanks Catherine! And I just wrote something stupid on your blog. Now I feel dumb.

What made it stupid?

Because I didn't say anything about your 20 week appt. or your 2 mile treadmill run. I just repeated one word you used.

That's okay. I didn't say anything in my comment about Glen's kids rollerblading.

LOL! Well, I guess in a way my dumb comments are endearing. Thanks for keeping it real.

Rock and roll, brother!!! I think my 10k PR is 58:xx. I despise 10k's and I loathe 5k's (because I'm a slowpoke). Mile races are fun. I wish there were more of them around here.

Dale, you may be slow, but you're consistently slow. And there's something to be said for that.

Congrats on the PR man! That is awesome! Now I am wondering if you had a fortune cookie that... eh never mind... congrats again!

After the Buffalo Run 50k, I'll have 6 months to get fast for St. George. If I could just keep a consistent 6 mph for the entire race I'd be exstatic!!! That would be nearly a one hour PR. One can dream, right?

Since I probably won't qualify for Boston until I'm an old geezer, St. George is my Boston.

GOOD GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dan - Do you always smell your rice before you eat it now?

I got a 45 min. PR from my first to second marathon. I'm pretty sure I'll get another 45 min. PR the next time I run one.

Karen - ouch! That stings. Thank you.

Nicely done!

Git 'r dun!

SWEET! Nice spontaneous PR!

Just saw this, good job. I also think you can go a lot faster, you ran a mile in the 5s after all.

Merri, Seth and JD - thanks!

Flat - I thought about you today as I was at London's Run.

in a true 10k race you would get that 45 minutes!! its harder to race yourself : D. good job!!!

Blazing!!!! Great job man! My first Garmin is coming in the mail tomorrow.... I can't friggin wait!

Thanks JulieC!

Derunzo Funzo - Awesome. Glen is jealous of mine.

Freedom isn't free. Freedom isn't free. you gotta pay the price, you gotta sacrifice. for your liberty.

U R too funny! Congrats on the 10k PR!!!

Merri - the Midnight Ride of Paul Revere (thank you Google.)

Britta - Thanks!

Very cool. Way to make someone feel special.

Big congrats on the PR last night.

So photogenic. Any you look great, too, Burt.

Is she really short or are you a giant?

Great picture!!!

Rhett - Making people feel special is what I do.

Paul - That is my good side. Would you like to see my bad side?

Dale - I'm one of the tallest 6'1" men in the world.

gotta love the lady liberty!!

Nice pic and nice PR from yesterday!

The following is an excerpt from a conversation between Lady Liberty and her significant other later tonight… “The stalker is back. This time he wanted a picture with me. What a weirdo. Do you think I should call the police?”

1. whoa. I just noticed there's another Burt on here. Did you already know that?

2. you look different in this picture.

3. Is that the Music Man singing the chicken fat song on you tube?

4. You lost 50 pounds? That's amazing!

RAD - God bless America.

April - Thank you! Are you just being nice because you know I'm going to post a picture of you soon?

Scott - The following is a exerpt from some pillow talk between you and your wife later tonight..."I'll dress up like a French maid if you dress up like that guy on the blog. You know, the one that sweats a lot."

Stacie - 1. Good old Burt Hoovis. He's never blogged, nor did he respond to my private message. There's also a Bert that's never blogged. I guess I scared them away with my stalking abilities.

2. The camera adds 20 lbs. 3. I don't know. We used to work out to that song in the 1st grade. 4. Thanks. Actually it's closer to 60 lbs, but I'm sure I'll gain it all back some day. If I'm lucky.

She looks so happy! I doubt she'll call the cops on you, but you might find that you have yourself a stalker.

Have you ever wondered why she's often outside at the same time as you?

Wow!

This whole commentary is just.... amazing

Tracy - I would be flattered to have a real life stalker.

Scott - Wait, I got that wrong. You're going to dress up like a French maid, and you want her to dress up like that sweaty guy on the blog. Whoever he is.

Really, there only is and always will be ONLY ONE TRUE BURT. Nice picture.

I have been wondering if a pic was going to surface soon...hmmmm

YAY! I want one now...

Kelli - Thanks. Accept no substitutes.

April - I sure hope you have a good sense of humor.

Karen - You want a picture? Be careful what you wish for.

Oh I see so you were bluffing...dissappointing..

Not a picture...a little petite lady liberty!

April - Oh, no, no, no. I'm not bluffing. I mean, you'll need a good sense of humor when you see the picture.

Karen - I know! Aren't they adorable?

it sounded like you hadn't even worked on a pic for me yet! Oh yes i have a good sense of humor

Congratulations on your 10K PR! Sweet. Of course you can get closer to 45. I am working on that too.

I love taking pictures with random people on the street (granted I don't know your background with this lady....but I'm sure it was totally random)!

Nice 10K yesterday!

Thanks auntieem. Come down to Phoenix and we'll do it together!

Toby Baloby - Lady Liberty and I go way back. We've been high fiving each other for three days now.

BTW - there were three Liberties working it over the weekend. Two of them were dudes again. None was the sweet little old lady.

Nice... good to be there running with a friend! The pictures are priceless!!!!!!!

Oh Burt! Alteast I look like a happy slug! hahahha

Nice.

yes you do april, and that is a good thing.

I wouldn't even know where to "good game" April!?!

Dan - Ox's real name is Dan. He said he would have finished 10 minutes slower had I not run him in. I doubt it.

April - I actually made another picture of you back when you were talking about abstainin from candy. But you haven't mentioned that for a while so I changed it. Maybe I should send that one to your personal email. LOL!

Tracy - Oh, you like it? Ha! Now you're on my side!

Bonnie - I'm not sure if April or Tracy ever saw your picture. So, I hope you don't mind me sharing :) http://burt-mccumber.fastrunningblog.com/blog-12-21-2009.html

Bonnie's pic is pretty awesome.

I'm not sure liking the picture=being on your side. But you are entertaining.

Karen-I wouldn't either. Very confusing!

Bonnie--so avatar like!

Burt-post! Maybe it will help me to stay away from the candy. So far so good on the soda stand point.

Karen - right on her slimy butt.

Tracy - yep, you're on my side. LA LA LA LA, I can't hear you!

All right, I'm on your side. If you insist.

Burt, that's just mean!

Mean? She's so cute! Couldn't you just eat her up?

Burt, Only you could get away with those pics. Clever though.

april - from the looks of the picture, i see you are a very fit, fast and happy slug.

nice run, burt.

go nan!

ha ha ha ha -- how right you are allie, april is one fit - and beautiful -- slug.

Bonnie and Allie--you are all too sweet!

I am a happy slug. I realize now why I hated running for most of my life--mostly b/c everyone wants you to be fast. I justlike the miles.

Nicole--it is okay, Burt will get his one day!

Good friend helping out on the race course! I saw on tv that eating raw snails can give you a parasite called blood worms that will eat your brain matter slowly until you die.

So cook them first :-)

Nice work Burt! On the run and the pic :)

Your photo shop skills are amazing!

A fast slug! Heeeeeheee. I live in the land of the slugs, the rainy Northwest. Trying to imagine the slug April speeding through the crazy cold and snowy weather she has been having!

Aunt--i swear if all this snowy/cold running doesn't make me a faster spring runner I am gonna go slug away some where!

That pic is really creepy.

Nice miles there Burt. Looks like it might be time to break out another yoga Burt.

Ah poor baby! I was hoping to hear she was ready to go home. Nice run! You are pure entertainment Burt, just pure entertainment.

Hope Emily is doing better, she is a sweetheart.

April - looks like she'll be in there for a few more days at least. :(

Flat - thanks. She's so funny. After the "nasty" resp techs come in and do there thing, and she squirms and cries, she makes sure to thank them.

Sweet little girl. I hope she gets well soon.

Who made the rule that if you eat brownies you have to run?

I believe that was Rene Descartes. "I eat, therefore I run."

Poor thing, hope she is better really soon.

Stinks seeing the little lady like that. Hope she goes home soon!

Sorry to hear that Emily isn't doing well. I hope she feels better soon.

I just moved to the last person on page 3 and you are at the bottom of page 6. Neener, neener, neener:)

I hope sweet Emily is doing better each day and gets home soon!

Nice job on getting the miles done - even if was for brownies. The only reason I run is so that I can eat :)

I am so sorry about Emily. I hope she gets to come home soon. I would really like to eat a lot of brownies!! I will dream about them tonight!:)

Hope Emily gets well soon.

Good job runnin off those brownies!

Hope Emily feels better! What a cutie! How old is she?

Don't worry about the brownies. Those are just the benefit of running. I still feel guilty if I eat them too, tho.

Thanks everyone. Except Shimelle! Now it's on. I just ran 5 more miles so now I'm right underneath you again.

Nizza miles today! :)

Best wishes of quick recovery to your little sweet heart

Burt, wishing a speedy recovery for your beautiful little daughter.

best wishes to emily -- hope she can come home soon.

Thanks again guys.

Mauri - she turns 4 on Friday. I hope she's out of the hospital before then.

Poor honey! After her next nose, suctiony thingy, please good game her for me! you know, she would enjoy that so much more if dad volunteered to have his nose done too...just sayin...

nice miles too!

Poor Emily, I hope she gets well soon! She's a cute little girl!

Thanks Merri and Karen.

Aww..I have a niece that age. Poor Emily - I hope she gets better soon.

I just looked at your update of this post. I laughed hard:)

Shimelle - *like*

You could only muster 3 miles?

Shut up! I'm going to run some more later today. Okay????

Actually, I am really proud of your effort today, especially with that excruciatingly COLD weather.

You......hug...yourself?

Was it like this?

http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/91531330/Riser

What the heck, that is way too cold for shorts. You rebel.

Lily - It was a very similar to that, yes.

Kelli - It warmed up to 39 by the time I was done.

Wow life is hard when it gets down to 31 degrees. LOL

Shut down the Phoenix Metropolitan area! We can't function!

I hope you doubled up on the undies. Don't want to be freezing down in the man regions. :)

I did notice some definite discomfort this morning.

I've got your discomfort.

Now stop whining and enjoy the fact that you can run. I haven't had that luxury for almost 4 weeks.

Poor Lily. :(

31 degrees sounds nice. This morning it was 2 here. In Tetonia, Idaho, where my sister lives, it was -30 this morning.

Burt, Sorry to hear about Emily and I hope she comes home soon.

Wow! 31 degrees in Phoenix? Really? The last time I was in Phoenix I felt like I was hit in the chest by the heat coming off the plane.

31 degrees in shorts??? Burtsickle!

I'm sorry.....31 degrees is nothing. Whimp!

Don't hold back Rye. Tell me how you really feel. lol

this is why centigrade is better system than fahrenheit; you would have been fine if it was 31C

All of us here in the 'great freeze' would love 31 in the morning. I know Allie would be in shorts for sure! Nice job getting out anyway, and having a perfectly wordless conversation with the new lady :)

Get better. Warmer days are coming. :) Oh wait, you already know that, you live in Arizona!

Thanks Stacy. I think I'm going to take a nap. Right here. At my desk. While I ty...zzzzzzz

You should Hack it out while doing Hack squats!

I'm thinking your "hack it out" slow pace is pretty good... but pirates aren't always fast- just sneaky.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

Do you think you got the sick bug from all your high 5-ing random people on the street?

Hack up a good green goober for me! Okay, too descriptive. Sorry.

Do you think you got what Emily had that gave her the pneumonia? It always seems like parents get it after the kids. Either way, take care - Hack it out and don't push yourself too hard, it'll just take longer to recover.

Sorry you got the sickness. I admire you for running through it. :)

Funzo - I just Youtubed that. In high school I could clean more than I could squat.

QP - Yes. Pneumonia is highly contagious that way. (I don't know if I have pneumonia.)

Rye - you and your green goobers!

RAD - probably. My wife gets sick from the stress every time Emily has to go to the hospital.

Catherine - thanks. It is quite admirable to run through a sickness, isn't it?

yuck about the lungs!

Nothing like hacking a good loogie while running!

April - My daughter had to be sent home from school sick so I went home and slept. I feel better, but I'm not going running for a little bit :(

Toby - Yesterday's run was one of the only times I blew snotsicles.

Hope you are a bit better by now.

Give your lungs a rest buddy Burt.

I agree Burt--been a rough week--get some rest! I hope you and little Emily are 100% soon!

auntieem - I'm feeling a little better but am going to wait 'til Tuesday to go running.

Thanks Mike and April!

Do you want to borrow my inhaler!!! It takes "hacking it out" to a whole new level. (I have one with only a few more puffs left in it ... it's all yours!) :)

Hackett out burt.

Teena - Yes. An inhaler with your germy germs crawling all over it sounds GREAT!

Merri - Your comment made me smile. Then I hacked up some green stuff.

EEEEWWWW gross ... who puts their mouth on an inhaler??? Haven't you used one before? You don't actually put your mouth on it, silly!!!!!

What are you talking about? Of course you do. Even Clinton put his mouth on it. And he didn't inhale!

Oh man ... I'm not sure what to say!!!!

sleep well and in the mean time, dream of LARGE women! (just not large pregnant ones...that would just be creepy)

Princess Bride. Melody's not quite as pregnant as you were when I met you. And believe me, I had a lot of dreams about you.

Just trying to creep you out.

did emily get to come home yet? am i behind because i haven't been on facebook? i'll go check it out. hope all is well with her and your family.

isn't melody great? how fun that you were able to meet. i am going to start my own list: bloggers i've met in real life who have met burt.

allie - They say Emily will be able to come home tomorrow. Right now she's resisting the urge to fall asleep. You should see it. Just lay down baby. LOL! This is great. Anyway, Melody is so nice. It was great that she took some time out to let me stop by for a few moments. Her husband is nice, too. And nice looking.

Thinking good thoughts for Emily and your bronchitis - that sounds horrible!

Thanks Nicole!

It was really nice meeting you. And I'm still disappointed I'm not coming home with a nice tan. PM me your email and I'll get that photo out to you.

And aren't you on the ball??? I'm on your "real life" list. Yay!

SO cool that Emily will be home tomorrow and you got to meet Melody! how awesome!

Melody - It was fun to meet you, too. You can blame me for the weather. It's all good. Luckily there's wifi at the hospital so I can blog. I've been here ever since I left you guys yesterday.

Bonnie - Melody is super cool. Have you met her? There's plenty of bloggers that you have met that I haven't. So I am a little jealous.

Cute picture!

Hi Burt, I have not met melody, but I do like her blog. You have met many more bloggers than I Burt -- I know some of them from when I lived in SLC, but I am pretty sure my list is shorter than yours (you win ;-) ) -- but you are more gregarious than me.

have a great week, hope Emily is home this morning!

Okay... Where was that picture taken from? The green scenery looks famaliar, something that we had around Idaho about 5 months ago..

Catherine - I think the right half of the picture is more cute than the left half. Even my wife agrees.

Bonnie - The doctor is writing the discharge orders now :)

Rye - This picture is taken at the Arizona Biltmore. This building was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. It's got an interesting history. Melody can tell you all about it.

Fun Burt. Someday you and I will meet and it's going to be quite entertaining I am sure.

Lily - it will be entertaining when I rip those huge earrings out of your lobes.

...followed by me ripping out your sweaty chest hair to add to your salad.

Now settle down and have some dip.

That is my kind of entertainment.

Good luck to little Emily! I hope she's home now and her Daddy is giving her everything she wants. If not go buy her some my little ponies right now.

Merri - she gets to come home this afternoon sometime, but then she goes right back for a sleep study.

I could use a sleep study. Studying the inside of my eyelids fo sho

Glad to hear Emily is coming home. I think standing next to Mel actually makes you look more handsome, Burt.

Lily-I happened to be eating a sandwich with sprouts as I read your comment and suddenly I was tasting Burt's chest hair. Thank you for that.

Nan - you made me laugh so hard (not out loud.) I'm picturing you dry spitting all the sprouts out. Melody does have a way of making even the ugliest of us look good. But then again, so do you. Or maybe that was my Nacho Libre mask?

Emily's a trooper! Tough as nails... like her Papi.

hope you're feeling better!

Thanks to your popularity my quantcast is the highest it's been in months!

Funzo - she's tougher than her papi.

QP - thanks. Went to the doc this morning. Got some steroids. I should be great soon. And strong. And impotent.

RAB - You're funny. I told you I would make you famous.

Emm and I are interested in buying P90 from you. Can you send the info to me?

jamminlongtime@yahoo.com

Thanks!

Benn

Actually Benn, just click on the link on the right hand side of the page that says Independent Beachbody Coach. Then click on Shop. Then click on Fitness Programs. Then P90X. Also, be aware that if you've ever purchased anything from Beachbody before, you'll need to contact customer service and let them know that you I get the credit for the sale. Thanks!

hope emily gets to go home soon, and you can get rid of the bronchitis soon!

Maybe one day I will get to meet Burt....

I hope your bronchitis is doing better.

Chris - If we do, we can compare who has the whitest legs. I already know your legs are much bigger than mine.

Rhett - Thanks. I hope you haven't had to excommunicate anyone yet.

Oh, I sure hope Emily gets to come home! And that you get well too of course.

Hey, it's two miles from my house to the RedBox, too!

Uh oh, did the snotrocket hang from your nose and then get stuck on your face? Oh wait, you don't want to talk about it.

Nasty... Nasty Burt... Don't mean a thing... Do do do do... Oh you Nasty Burt!

Dale - You might think it's funny, but it'snot.

Janet Jackson - Careful not to have a wardrobe malfunction today.

It's an artform. You should work on your skills. I am always impressed with a well projected rocket.

I don't care if Charisma Carpenter did. It's still nasty! Right Janet?

What no pix?

Mr. McCumber if your nasty!

you blow

Have you tried the HotPockets? They're breathtaking!

Long live the People's Mesh!

Man, I never have any adventures on my lonely roads. Just a lot of roadkill sightings.

Sounds like you were 1 for 2 at brightening people's day today, that ain't bad!

Merri - that mesh made a mesh of my face. I've got a red, white, and blue bruise now.

Joe - I saw a dead cat in the gutter this morning. Does that brighten your day? 2 for 3?

I shy away from ultra outgoing people like you. :)

Of course you do Lily. You're one of the Beautiful People. You can't be seen mingling with us peasants.

I wouldn't mingle with you, but I'll run with you instead. No high 5's with your sweaty palms now ya hear

I love the camaraderie an upheld hand waiting for a '5' brings. Dogs just don't understand.

Lily - both Black Liberty and dog woman were wearing gloves this morning. Wimps!

RAD - you get me.

She was hesitant because you probably had on your "creepy serial murderer" face when you went for the '5'.

I can't help it James. It's creepy serial murderer week on the Chiller channel.

Just so you know, I ran 1/2 mile more than you today!

I can't beat you today Park Nelson! That's it. It's on!

Well, I'm not running anymore today so you might do it. Bet you can't guess how far I'm going tomorrow.

I'm just going to run all day tomorrow. Good luck keeping up.

Fine...I'll run 6 more tonight just so you have to run even further tomorrow, Forest!

Is this because I said - In your face Shimelle! - last week?

Yep:) And now, I just kicked your can at WT. MANTRA is the word Burt, MANTRA!

My new Mantra is destroy Shimelle! And Oprah!

Bring it on!

I was going to suggest never offering a high five to a person with a dog! that is crazy!

I'm glad you're feeling better!

April - now you tell me?

Catherine - thanks! You're my new best friend.

WHAT! You have a new best friend? sigh...first the janitors, now you?

Karen - sorry you can't hug the janitors anymore :(

I waved at them yesterday...we'll see if that had any effect on the track conditions...

Burt, low five a few janitors, see what happens, hug lady liberty, this will really mess up the natural order of things.

I can just see it now...all over America , FRB'ers are high fiving liberties, hugging janitors and good gaming unsuspecting bystanders. What a great world we would have!

don't forget shaving messages into their chest hair.

That'll teach you not to talk to strange women with guard dogs LOL!

Some people just don't appreciate a friendly gesture.

Steve - I never learn.

Melody - That's why I'm here. To educate the world.

Great run! Quick pace as well.

Thanks. I felt pretty fresh at first from taking a few days off, but then it caught up to me.

Burt, nice pre-Del Sol training! You are going to have so much fun and best of luck to you and your team!

Excellent miles and pace Burt!!!

Super splits, Burt! Especially this early in the season. Way to hoof it! Your goal of running a marathon in close to 4 hours is way too soft. You'll bust that by a bunch.

Rossy - Thanks! Ragnar's always a great time.

RAD - Glen always brings out the best in my running.

Choke - My problem is I need to do some long runs. I peter out too fast.

Very good run, best of luck with the upcoming Ragnar, I love those reports.

Thanks Mark. Two weeks to go!

Ragnar already?! Wow, it feels like Vegas was just yesterday. Next Ragnar for me is Wasatch Back in June. Good luck at the race!

returning the favor of being the first one to comment on a post. Nice runzo.

Woo hoo Lani! You rule. You're much cooler than Scott Wesemann.

Ready for your race ? Wish you the best of luck !

Duuuuuuuuuuuuude! I think my condo in Midway just became unavailable in June.

Eric - thanks. I've got one more little 5k this week, then Ragnar next week.

Scott - What I meant was, she lives in a place where the temperature is cooler than where you're at. I'm talking about the weather. What did you think I was talking about?

Burt,

I been wondering who's that person trying to trip you in your Blog picture?

Nice work Burt (on the run and holding back the creepiness around small children). I must say you inspired my run today, I just kept thinking about how fast your paces have been and I thought: "C'mon, you've got to keep up with Burt's paces, it's a short run." So, thanks for running fast and keeping me motivated.

I don't think I could ever keep up with the Creeper's paces.

I could have swore I just posted responses to your comments. Maybe I did it on somebody else's blog. How embarrassing.

IJR - Haha! You're not the first to ask that question. That picture's from the Mesquite Marathon. It's my favorite because I don't look like a girl in it. (Not that that's a bad thing.)

RAD - You crack me up. You inspired me this morning too because you're constantly calling me a creeper. Glad we could inspire each other this morning.

Dale - Sure you can. You just have to run downhill.

I'll slap you.

I have no doubt of that QP.

Lady Liberty probably had a hot date on Valentines Day.

I'll be she's dating Captain America

Hark! A Lark! Flying through the Park!

Joe - that two-timing wench!

QP - I guess it would be creepy if she was dating her Uncle Sam.

Merri - I haven't heard that one for a while. Did you dress up as a boy scout when you were younger so you could sneak on the campouts?

Burt I was a boy scout, er i mean yes I did sneak into campouts.

Thanks for not mentally scarring those little kids.

Sweaty high fives not needed. Uh ya.

You eat potatoes in Arizona? Thought that was just for us Idahohans. St. Patricks Day rolls around, try dying the spuds green. Looks disgusting. It resembles a green snot rocket.

Sounds like a feast fit for a king and a queen! Glad you enjoyed it! Well, I wasn't too far off your pace today. I'm going to blame it on the wind...and that I got a few extra miles in :)

Rye - I'm glad my food has been digested. I would have thrown it up after reading that.

RAD - I just crunched your numbers. Your standard deviation was 11 seconds. You need to be a bit more consistent ;)

Your calories burning was well executed. You lost me after "average pace".

Sounds like a lovely V-Day. Nice run at a clippin' pace. You have me by at least 3 min/mile probably more.

April - I'm just trying to sound smart. Glad it worked. Hugs to your little girl.

RAB - Thanks. Even though you're 8 and a half months preggers, that makes me feel good.

Betcha I ate more than you. Fatty Patty Mcgee

Oh Lily, don't be so hard on yourself. There's nothing wrong with a little junk in the trunk. Just ask Kelli. (snicker snicker)

Very romantic movie.

you forgot the Persons product moment correlation coefficient, and I would like a principal components analysis

And I would like to make that large, with fries

Thank you sir

I was loving the calories last night as well, tasty :)

8.75 months pregnant, but who's counting?

Paul - It had Jessica Biel in it. 'nuff said.

Chris - Oh no! The real world is destroying you!

Seth - Was this your first Valentine's as a married man?

Probability of the 3rd mile being within 1.8 secs of the overall average is 0.014

The confidence interval thing doesn't have anything to do with anything.

pink green beans doesn't seem very romantic to me at all, but whatever floats your boat. Happy V day Burt!!

ashton kutcher. you just can't go wrong. watch it again. you'll like it.

i hope you had some do-si-dos.

I love lamp.

Bonnie - LOL! You're the best statistician on the blog!

allie - samoas

Joe - Do you really love the lamp or are you saying it because you saw it?

Mmmmmmm...Meatloaf.....Leftover meatloaf is even better.

Nothing like a good meatloaf to show your love! Wait.... that sounds a little messed up??? Ha ha ha....

Good to see that you are getting your math homework done, Burt. Great paces, by the way! you must be so pumped for your relay!!! you might accidentally PR in your 5k as well...

I'm overwhelmed with all of those numbers.

I'm thinking meatloaf must make you really smart. Congrats.

Dale - I had some leftover meatloaf for lunch today. It was pretty good.

Funzo - I know that joke and you told it wrong.

Karen - I love accidental PR's!

QP - Meatloaf is brain food.

Bonnie - you have to admit, that's a real cool standard deviation. Not as cool as that time you rattled off 4 7:18's in a row, but pretty cool.

Burt, everyone knows you need to use a 95% Confidence Interval! Geeeez.

Sounds awesome.

Sorry, I don't have anything clever to say at this time.

That was the most awesome thing you could ever say.

see you tomorrow.

Actually, you'll see me tonight...in your dreams!

Possibly nightmares, but dreams nonetheless.

be careful. the government heard you say that.

I work for the government and yes, I'm watching you.

Going to report those expensive shoes as income on your taxes?

I can't Paul. The government is listening.

Way to stick it to the man Burt! Get those shoes and enjoy them.

That sounds very complicated, but I understand the free shoes part.

Fartastic!

My advice about the surge, though great, had nothing to do with farting, Burt!!

i will not participate in any of this "fart" talk...like a woman who says she never farts.

good job, burt. it's was great seeing you today.

I can't even imagine how long it took you to come up with all of these analogies....

Mike - Thanks for being the first to comment. Just remember, he who smelt it, dealt it.

Joe - I hope your inbox does get stuffed because it's kind of stuffy in here, if you catch my DRIFT.

Dale - one time the IT lady came in right after some flatulence in my office. She crawled under my desk to hook something up, then came back out and asked me to do it.

Karen - nothing some Lysol Disinfectant can't take care of.

allie - it's always a pleasure to see you, like a fart. That's all. Like a fart.

Nicole - did you just say ANALogies?

Febreeze should sponsor Burt! You can be a living, breathing, farting testimonial! "When Burt puts on the hurt, we squeeze Febreeze"

Burt.... at least you didn't shart! We can save that one for another race report though.

With all of that junk food you ate the days preceding the race, it's no wonder you had farts on your mind. Did your family move out for a couple of days?

This race report is a dutch oven.

Way to let er rip.

Tracy - My wife loves when I fluff the covers.

Paul - I guess you could say I gave it some gas.

Nice. I'm still laughing. :)

Burt you should for sure save some funk for Sunday.

New relay team name: Trunk Funk

I'd like that nacho recipe.

What a gas! Nice job Burt, excellent running and writing, but that is all I can say. Just ask my kids - mom's don't fart!

I love the silent buy violent saying...I really hate the smell of those though! but it seems like a good racing strategy.

This made me LOL so much that I almost farted

Good job on third place and good speed - rear propulsion I guess!

Merri - I only get funky on Fast Sunday.

RAB - I'll talk to my wife. The key ingredient is the beans. So good!

RAD - they do when you tickle it out of them.

April - I'm surprised you hate the smell of them. That's odd.

Claudio - just let it go man. Just let it go.

Scott - I saw the picture of what happens on Walter's facebook. It ain't pretty.

All I can say is that I now know why Phoenix is always 10 degrees warmer than the rest of Southern Arizona. I thought it was elevation and population, but I guess it is global warming due to your running ...

Great race Burt ... sorry about the shoes, but congrats on the candy!

Ha ha...LOL...Wow. Thats one for the books.

Ah, how sweet Bonnie. You think I'm hot. And after that horrible thing I just said on your facebook. I better go erase that.

Wow Burt, you are a social networking guru!

Next time use the explosive fart. It helps with the surges.:) Nice work on the PR!

Well Burt, what can I say I'm an odd ball!

SO, the team (team fartlek) wants to know if you will be their mascot? When I said surge, I didn't mean purge...

3rd Place! Your a RockSTAR lately bring home all the hardware.

amazing race Burt! Your report made me giggle a LOT, especially about wrestling the box of chocolates the night before the race. Sometimes life is like a box of chocolates.

Bishop - thanks. And I forgive you for your spelling error on both my and April's blog. Can I forgive a bishop?

Jenny Gump - you never know what you're going to get.

Beautiful imagery!

Thanks Holt. I think it's Pulitzer Prize material.

I am sorry I missed this earlier this week... too funny. I read it out loud to my wife and we are still laughing. Nice race man!

Side note: Did you know that when you hold in your stinkies (I have a hard time saying FA#%) that you are strengthening your gluteus medius???

So the question is: How strong is your gluteus medius? One's gluteus medius strength says a lot about who they really are!!!!

Dan - I'm glad I could help your marriage stay strong. That's what I'm here for.

Teena - you can say fluff. And I can crack a two by four with my gluteus medius. I'm the AZ State champion.

Burt~

Sadly my gluteus mediuses are kind of weak. I suppose that it because I rarely fluff!!! Hmmm ... but yours can break a 2X4. Very interesting!!! At least we know that you are attempting to hold them in, Champ!!!!! :)

Teena - It's all about timing. I think Kenny Rogers put it best when he said, "You've got to know when to hold 'em."

I find myself looking at your splits trying to figure out where you came across the carcass. I can't figure it out. Your splits are pretty consistent.

By the way, that was a fartastic race report Thursday.

Nice work Burt! I must agree about the ragnar training, perfect conditions - even the aptly placed carcass to help the puking along.

PRE - I'd say the dog was about 1.8 miles in. I had to concentrate on not letting it bother. But it's eyes were open! Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about it.

RAD - We saw a dead javelina at the last Del Sol relay.

I can't figure it out, you don't like it when I talk about green goobers.... but dead animals

poor doggie!

Mac n Cheese and dogs for a pre race meal? I would have puked for sure. Props for holding that in.

Love that roadkill. Did you know skunks die with their mouth open, bearing their teeth...every single time. It's science. I always look, and immediately regret it.

Busted, cold dusted, hot dog, with mustard.

Rye - it's just that you're obsessed with green goobers.

April - I know. I think it was a pitbull, so I didn't feel too bad. But it was still sad and it looked like a horror movie.

Scott - You're much too sophisticated to eat hot dogs and mac & cheese anyway.

Joe - I've never gotten that close to a dead skunk. For some reason I just haven't. Wonder what it could be.

Merri - you have a song for everything.

2 things: I hope to never see a dead body on the sidewalk - I don't think I would kick it, but thanks for the advice :)

Nice work this morning Burt, great pace and miles to start out the week!

Thanks for the daily dose of widsom. Nice job on your miles this morning.

Glad your new "lady" is down with the high 5 mornings.

kick it? that's a bit harsh. Are you ready for Ragnar?

RAD - If the body is dead, then it won't feel anything. Thus, you would just be disprespecting the dead, which isn't a big deal. BUT, if the body is alive, then they need to be brought back to reality. Here in AZ, you can fry eggs on the sidewalks. Think of what would happen to someone's brain.

RAD's sister - who can resist a high five from me?

Camille - I am so ready for Ragnar. Too bad you can't do it, but great job on your marathon.

Thanks for the laugh, I needed it :)

What are you laughing about? I'm dead serious.

That was a pun.

Burt, Burt, Burt - which is your favortie lady liberty? Give the favorite lady a honk as you go by. Honk when your h...., be careful with the honking.

Hey, what happened to your 8 or 9 miles to start the week, are you tapering?

Stay Kool, b of BS rools out

just like stevie nicks.

Merri - you just made me laugh so hard I farted.

Brent - I am tapering for Ragnar this week.

allie - wtfudge?

Burt - who knows, maybe someone will get injured and I'll be needed last minute. :o) Either way, I'm still happy I did the marathon.

That is one of your greatest tag lines ever, and that is a pretty high standard for your blog.

Typical awesomeness.

Good on you for not just hurdling him and moving on.

When I saw the old bum pushing his shopping cart down the street, at first I felt sorry for him. But when I saw what was in his cart I thought, well no wonder you're a bum, look at the dumb things you bought. (Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy)

I've kicked a dead body on the side of the road before, as I ran....Well it was 5:00am, pitch black and the body was some sort of dead animal...luckily not a human...!

Mark - I'm always raising the bar.

Paul - I strive to be like you.

Joe - It was a very busy road and right in front of the mall. I'm surprised nobody else stopped to check on him.

Chad - Jack Handy really does make you think.

IJR - Some sort of dead animal? You're sure it wasn't your ex-wife?

When I worked EMS we were often called for bums laying around. I always made them get under a bush or a bridge so people would quit calling about them all day.

April - you just commented 7 seconds after me.

This guy was so drunk I wonder if he would have died if he was just left there. Then he woke up and came up to me to ask what time it was while I was still on the phone. I was like, "Hey, go away. Can't you see that I'm calling the cops on you." (I said that in my mind.)

It all goes back to the moral of the story, which you learned well, kick first and if the body wakes up, especially with some profanity and a little swinging, they will live without your assistance.

See? Don't take my word for it. You just heard it from a trained professional.

Whaa......?

Kick it? Or kick the bucket?

Lily - you, Julie, Kelli, and runningafterbabies are all a part of the sore butt patrol. Who is the president?

RAB - kick it in the bucket.

Blow up doll? I don't have any experience with those, but I sure will take your word for it.

One credit card receipt for Swedish-made blow up doll signed by Scott Wesemann.

One warranty card for Swedish-made blow up doll, filled out by Scott Wesemann.

One book, "Swedish-made Blow Up Dolls And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Scott Wesemann.

Ummmmmm Swedish made?? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

seriously==where do you live? I mean nearly dead people, lady liberities, lady liberities that won't high five, dead pit bulls.

FIND A NEW RUNNING ROUTE! hahah

But in all seriousness--no kicking bodies--try feeling for a carotid pulse (neck pulse)

and risk them coming up and taking a bite out of my carotid artery? thank you, no.

Burt, i didn't think you were allowed to watch that movie...poor Scott..you got some learnin to do! Don't know if I should laugh or cry, cuz I really did have a dead bum this past week...

You should make a calendar of all the lady libertys.

P.S. The Final Countdown was the first song we played at our wedding reception.

Karen - don't judge me. How can I be such a big Helena Bonham Carter fan if I didn't watch movies like that?

Catherine - that used to be my all time favorite song. Now I just laugh because of the time Gob played it at his magic show.

Good heavens that was entertaining. Thanks to all who participated!

Still trying to figure out the Stevie Nicks reference...

JD - It's you guys that make my blog what it is. So thanks to you all, from the bottom of my heart.

Yeah, Stevie. Must be an inside joke between allie and I that I totally forgot. I'm a horrible friend.

sigh...i guess you have to be from an older generation to understand:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uDIfRy4RT6g

Thank you. Little old lady!

Burt, I think we've just been served.

I nominate myself for President of the SBP. My bruises are finally fading.

Hey....Wait a minute Burt, I thought this was a Running Blog...not a Political Blog...No self Nominations...!!!

I'll second that.

IJR - Sasha encourages us to blog about everything. And I mean EVERYTHING.

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHHA!

BURT! YOU CRACK ME UP! YOU KICK THEM WHEN THEIR DOWN. THAT'S MY MAMMA'S MOTTO! :)

Congratulations on the stronger nipples. Now you can shelve the body glide.

Thanks Dale. You know, I've worked really hard for this to happen. I feel like I gave it 110%, and it's all paid off.

Next thing you know, your calloused nipples will "break through" your shirts and you'll need new shirts. It's a vicious cycle.

nice job on nipping the problem in the bud

Joe - I'm hoping to be able to cut glass with them.

Chris - You remind me of Barney Fife.

I saw a man running "topless" in the Sedona marathon that had bandaids on his. I don't know why, considering he didn't have a shirt on...

Probably just a modesty issue.

you are right... because if those bandaids weren't there, I would have had to shielded my eyes. The truth is, I ended up staring because I was trying to figure out what was *wrong* with his chest. ha ha!

I think doing your shorter runs without the body glide is a great idea! You'll toughen up and never need the stuff. I don't know why guys don't just wear "man bras" or something.

You should do stand up comedy!!!

Auntieem - I have been know to wear breast pads from time to time. Remember that Camille?

Squirrel - I couldn't do stand up. I have a team of writers that helps me come up with my material, like Jay Leno.

I had never heard of bloody nipples until just yesterday and to find it a topic on your blog is kind of funny. Sorry that you're having this problem, ouch. Sounds like you may have worked through it though. : )

Turtle - I always like to welcome the new bloggers, but sometimes I feel dumb because I know they'll come check out my blog and see whatever crazy topic of conversation I've chosen for the day. I'm glad I didn't scare you off.

Be afraid Turtle...be very afraid...of Burt! Lol!

turtle - if the word "nipular" and talk about man bras and breast pads doesn't scare you off, you are in the right place.

we also occasionally talk about kicking dead bodies, puking, the government, little old ladies, oprah, multi-level marketing and derek detemple.

burt - kick it. stevie nicks.

Derek Detemple!

Don't forget adult diapers. I'm way too classy to participate though.

BTW great pace today Burt!

Joe - I did tell the story about my college buddy who got involved with the Mexican mob, put a man in an adult diaper, tortured him, then killed him, right?

JD - It's no 45 miles on the week already like you, but thanks.

Geez and I was afraid to ask some new runner questions-guess I can just get over that!

We're a family here Squirrel.

FYI- Body Glide only works on the nips for about 15 miles. I found this out last week on Antelope Island. I had a small case of BNS and thought of you.

Oh Burt, you're kickin' my trash on the pace so I've given up trying to compete with you. At least until I can kick your trash again :) You'll probably out pace and out mile me this weekend at Ragnar...maybe. Should I leave that hangin' for you to motivate you on those 3AM runs? :)

RAD - Knowing you and you're work ethic, it won't be long.

I've got 21 miles to do for Ragnar. Legs 3 and 27 are all downhill, so it should be nice.

Burt, yes I remember that story very well. I'm still so glad you were able to escape the midget mud wrestling twins through the sewer pipe and then run to the Mexican drive-thru plastic surgery building for help.

So glad you finally took my advice and bought the body glide.

Now if you know you have BNS why would you wear white shirts? Are you trying to show off your syndrome?

Cool, and best of luck from this tiny part of you huge internet following.

Now that I can't compete with. Your internet following IS much bigger than I could ever dream of, or keep up with. Congrats on the free entry and good luck on the race - I'll be checking back Sunday evening.

Good luck at the race, we'll miss you. We'll miss your scent. We'll miss your musk. I think after the race, you and me should get an apartment together.

RP - Thanks for being a loyal fan. wink wink.

RAD - Don't give up on your dream.

Slow Joe Burgandy - I'm kind of a big deal.

Burt, you are quite the humble man.

I'm probably the most humble guy you know.

In your essay, did you talk about farting, bloody nipples and kicking people that appear to be dead?

Very cool.

289. eh.

Dale - I left that out. That's probably why I didn't win.

allie - Why do I have 16 emails already??? Oh. Thank you for 6 minutes of utter hilarity.

Thanks for filling up my inbox, Allie

have a great time this weekend!! AND, if you guys drop your "baton" like we do every year at Wild Wild West, you can always use the "good game" hand off! Is the baptism this weekend as well?

Thanks Karen! Everytime I see someone drop the "baton" at the exchange I tell them they're disqualified.

The baptism is postponed to next month because grandma couldn't make it this month.

Good luck and most of all, have fun...in the sun...with Ragnar.

I'm on pins and needles until then...

Do you have groupies like rock stars (since you are an internet rock star)?

Wait a minuite...Now what is it you're a appologizing for....??? :}

Also, I just noticed you're the only person in the race (in your profile picture)...where the heck is everyone else...ha ha?

All jokes aside...good luck in your race..!

I bet he does have groupies.... I mean why else choose Vegas!!

Burt, you should look into a personal representative...

Good luck and try to get some sleep!

Thanks for the welcome!! Yes, that is my husband, the professor. He has been trying to get me to run for years. I did for a while but got really bad shin splints. So now I am walking up a storm. Maybe one day I will actually run with him.

Dale - The sun stayed behind the clouds most of the time. It was great, and it didn't get too cold.

RAB - Are you just saying that to make me feel good?

Toby - you know I do. Aren't you the president of my fan club?

IJR - that was the Mesquite marathon. Only 167 people ran the race. I came in right in between bloggers 8kidmom and ben, who happen to be married. They've never forgiven me.

Dan - do you know any good agents?

Seth - I got a two hour nap. It did the trick. LOL.

momof4 - keep on keeping on. You will be in no time.

So I guess that makes you marriage splitter! I've heard of your type!

Hope you had a good time at Ragnar.

Well Burt, I fired my last agent, I will be on the look out for you - a man of your talents needs proper representation. I wonder if I can get you in a fortune cookie next...

1st to comment on your excellent rug love it .....

oh oh and well done hope your not tooooo tired after the relay.. Great running Burt your paces were fast and you enjoyed it thats the main thing :))

oh and who is Burt McCumber his real name is Burtstalker ha ha kidding :))

Excellent race report!!! :-) I'm actually doing the Ragnar in April!!! Looks like you had a great race - excellent splits!!!

Burt, outstanding effort, pace for your legs, 300 commando pointgs. Your hard work the last few months has paid off.

Stay Kool, B of bS Rools out

Sandy Dune - Yes! Burtstalker! Hey, first the worst. 2nd the best. Third the one with the hairy chest.

Cari - Thanks! Are you going to be on Kerry's team?

Brent - I just need to stay consistent. And quit eating all the sweets in sight.

Nice running and excellent write-up and photos (as expected). They are going to rename this race after you one of these days.

Chest hair and sweat. Now this is the Burt that I have come to know and love. I enjoyed the report, but I have to admit the pics made me gag a bit.

Joe - I 'spect they will soon.

Scott - you gagged? Mission accomplished!

The night was moist....

Burt McCumber, you're almost famous. Keep doing what you're doing and next thing you know, Sione WILL be reading your blog.

Sounds like you had a really fun time. Good thing it didn't get too cold with all that chest and back hair missing.

Dale - I had writer's block when I tried to write this report. I see you caught that. Criss cross.

So why did you cover up the nips? Were they bloody? or are you trying to keep some privacy? And now I know everything about you, you have BNS and the nips are crooked! hahah

i wish i could read your report -- all i can see is a giant "censored" banner across the screen. i assume you did well and ran like white lightning.