A clydesdale no more!

Trying to figure out how I got to where I am physically and mentally.  Not crossing the finish line on Saturday really took it's toll on me.  I could have finished within 30 seconds of my goal time but for some reason I felt like I had failed and didn't feel it was appropriate to cross the line.  I will blame it on a glycogen depleted state of mind.  Quitting had never crossed my mind in the past so I need to find out how I let it even be a possibility and learn how to combat it.  Seeing pictures of me running on Saturday did not help.  My weight has gotten to a point that is unacceptable.  I honestly look like an elephanet lumbering down the road.  While my miles per week is not very high, running 55-60 mpw should have brought my weight down. Perhaps it is the lack of intensity in my runs.  This would also explain the loss of mental toughness.  The biggest frustration is that Boston is only 2 weeks away and nothing can be done at this point to help that race.  It's hard to justify the expense of the trip knowing it could quite possible be one of my slowest marathons.  I need to take the last 6 months of training as a jumping off point and refocus on getting myself into better shape for a great fall marathon. 

Just needed to vent for a minute.  Time to stop feeling sorry for myself and come up with a plan to feel like a strong, healthy runner again.

A very cool, crisp morning.  Felt a little heavy while running.  Never felt fatigued but the body just wasn't moving right.

Relatively easy miles.  Trusting the taper plan.

Last real workout before Boston.  3 X 1 mile at 5K pace with 1/2 mile jog in between.  Couldn't find my Garmin so I decided to head to the LPT and use the mile markers there and time myself with the stop watch on my phone.  Probably good to do this without constantly checking on my pace.  Considering how I have been feeling lately I chose a realistic pace of 6:15/mile.  The warm up felt a little clunky but once I transitioned to 5k pace the form felt a lot better.  First mile was a good effort.  Didn't kill myself and expected the split to be slow.  Came in at 6:00.  A bit of a surprise.  Let's see if I can keep it up.  Second was more work (as it should be).  Expected it to be a little slower based on how I felt but ended up finishing in 5:53.  Only one more mile to go then all of my remaining runs are at whatever pace I want them to be.  First 1/2 mile was 2:55 then I started to fade a little.  Focused on leg turnover to get through the last 1/2 mile and finished at 6:00.  Very happy with how this run turned out.  I definitely needed this.  Hopefully this is the runner that shows up in Boston and not the one that struggled with 7:15/mile at Riverton.

While debating whether I should wear a long or short sleeve shirt, I happened to look out the window and noticed that it was snowing hard.  Definitely one of the worst snow storms this year.  Threw on a jacket and running pants and headed out.  The snow was coming down hard that it seemed like I was running through a solid sheet of snow.  Of course the roads were not cleared because the plows have been put away for the year.  I'm glad that I only had an easy 5 miler planned.  Just plugged away until the run was done.  Just out of curiosity, how many days does it take for the weather here to make it to the east coast? 

About as uneventful as it can get.  Went out six miles on the LPT turned around and ran home.  My legs felt very heavy and slow.  I guess it is all that wonderful training soaking in.