A clydesdale no more!

Trying to figure out how I got to where I am physically and mentally.  Not crossing the finish line on Saturday really took it's toll on me.  I could have finished within 30 seconds of my goal time but for some reason I felt like I had failed and didn't feel it was appropriate to cross the line.  I will blame it on a glycogen depleted state of mind.  Quitting had never crossed my mind in the past so I need to find out how I let it even be a possibility and learn how to combat it.  Seeing pictures of me running on Saturday did not help.  My weight has gotten to a point that is unacceptable.  I honestly look like an elephanet lumbering down the road.  While my miles per week is not very high, running 55-60 mpw should have brought my weight down. Perhaps it is the lack of intensity in my runs.  This would also explain the loss of mental toughness.  The biggest frustration is that Boston is only 2 weeks away and nothing can be done at this point to help that race.  It's hard to justify the expense of the trip knowing it could quite possible be one of my slowest marathons.  I need to take the last 6 months of training as a jumping off point and refocus on getting myself into better shape for a great fall marathon. 

Just needed to vent for a minute.  Time to stop feeling sorry for myself and come up with a plan to feel like a strong, healthy runner again.

A very cool, crisp morning.  Felt a little heavy while running.  Never felt fatigued but the body just wasn't moving right.

Relatively easy miles.  Trusting the taper plan.

Last real workout before Boston.  3 X 1 mile at 5K pace with 1/2 mile jog in between.  Couldn't find my Garmin so I decided to head to the LPT and use the mile markers there and time myself with the stop watch on my phone.  Probably good to do this without constantly checking on my pace.  Considering how I have been feeling lately I chose a realistic pace of 6:15/mile.  The warm up felt a little clunky but once I transitioned to 5k pace the form felt a lot better.  First mile was a good effort.  Didn't kill myself and expected the split to be slow.  Came in at 6:00.  A bit of a surprise.  Let's see if I can keep it up.  Second was more work (as it should be).  Expected it to be a little slower based on how I felt but ended up finishing in 5:53.  Only one more mile to go then all of my remaining runs are at whatever pace I want them to be.  First 1/2 mile was 2:55 then I started to fade a little.  Focused on leg turnover to get through the last 1/2 mile and finished at 6:00.  Very happy with how this run turned out.  I definitely needed this.  Hopefully this is the runner that shows up in Boston and not the one that struggled with 7:15/mile at Riverton.

While debating whether I should wear a long or short sleeve shirt, I happened to look out the window and noticed that it was snowing hard.  Definitely one of the worst snow storms this year.  Threw on a jacket and running pants and headed out.  The snow was coming down hard that it seemed like I was running through a solid sheet of snow.  Of course the roads were not cleared because the plows have been put away for the year.  I'm glad that I only had an easy 5 miler planned.  Just plugged away until the run was done.  Just out of curiosity, how many days does it take for the weather here to make it to the east coast? 

About as uneventful as it can get.  Went out six miles on the LPT turned around and ran home.  My legs felt very heavy and slow.  I guess it is all that wonderful training soaking in. 

AM

5 miles. Relaxed pace.  Lower legs (tibia, ankles, achilles) are bothering me a little. 

PM

4 miles while the girls were at soccer practice.  I'm going to make this part of my new routine while I try to build the mileage and get back into shape.  They practice twice a week and it should be a good way to get a few extra miles in.  First mile wasn't comfortable but the rest felt pretty good.

Perfect morning for a run.  Ideal temperature.  Started with an easy 3 then ran 2 miles at marathon pace.  Ran both miles in 6:50 which is a little faster than projected marathon pace but I wanted to see how it felt.  Felt very good.  Heart rate felt a little faster than MP so I know I could not sustain the pace for a full marathon.  With 1/2 mile to go I could see Becky ahead.  Slowly closed the gap until there was 0.2 miles left and I ran all out to catch up to her.  Surprised how good that fast pace felt.

Waited for the rain to stop and headed out for a quick run.  Temps felt good and the air was clean and crisp following the rain.  Wish I felt better but runs never feel the right way the week before a marathon.  Now it is off to the airport.  Hope to see some of you in Boston.

I'm now paying the price of taking a few days off of work.  Too much work to do this morning so I wasn't able to sneak a run in.  My legs feel heavy but not sore so I should be able to pick up the mileage next week.

I've been thinking a lot about what happened on Monday and unfortunately I think that I cannot simply blame it on the heat. While I was reviewing my training over the past couple of months I noticed a trend that I need to reverse.  I am becoming a quitter.  I often times take the easy way out instead of pushing hard in training to build mental toughness.  It started with the switch back repeats at Freedom Hills park that I didn't finish.  There was a tempo run that I abandoned followed by a few VO2 workouts that I completely skipped.  Then there was the disaster at the Riverton 1/2 (another hot race).  Have I completely lost what little mental edge I had?  I wonder if I can find the desire to rebuild what I have lost.

AM: 4 miles

Absolutely perfect morning for a run.  It started to rain a little towards the end but it felt really good.  Other than a little soreness in my achilles tendons everything feels good.  The plan is to get a few more miles in this afternoon while my girls are at soccer practice.  Let's see if I can stick to the plan.

PM: 5 miles

Nice and easy miles through Centerville while the girls had soccer practice.  Kept a steady 8:00/mile and felt very comfortable.  I need to make better luinch choices when I am planning on running in the afternoon.  For future reference, the Costco pizza/hot dog combo is not good pre-run food.

Nice and easy miles.  A little sore to start but felt better as the run progressed.  Not sure if I will be able to get a run in tomorrow as I will be supporting Becky at the Salt Lake half.  I will either need to get out super early or sneak one in during the day.

Can't imagine better weather.  Absolutely perfect.  Knees and ankles are still very sore.  Everything else feels good. 

AM - 8 miles

Another gorgeous morning.  Although, I could have gone without the smell of the dump.  My left knee is really bothering me.  Tried to keep my form as normal as possible but favoring the knee threw me off a little.  The pace felt a little more uptempo than I usually run but I have been running watchless lately so I really have no idea what the pace actually was.  Probably a little below 7:30/mile. 

PM - 5.5 miles

Dropped my girls off at soccer practice in Farmington and thought I would run by Farmington Bay.  My horrible sense of direction and awareness put me in the middle of a swamp.  After wading through some stinky mud and hopping a fence found my way on to a dirt road.  Followed it to the Legacy Trail in Centerville where I looped back to the soccer fields.  Crossed paths with JD and ran with him for a couple of miles.  I've said it a million times before but the effort when running with somebody seems so much easier than when you are alone.  JD and I had a good "runners" conversation.  No knee or ankle pain during the run.  Leads me to believe that the pain in the morning is just start up pains.

Left knee and right achilles tendon are very sore this morning.  Kept the pace relatively slow throughout the run. 

We are in Boise for my daughter's soccer tournament.  Looked at a map and had an idea of where I wanted to run.  Unfortunately, my sense of direction is so bad that I ended up running the opposite direction.  Meandered around town for awhile and eventually found myself by BSU and eventually in downtown Boise.  Found my way to a nice river trail next to the Snake River.  Wish I had discovered it earlier in the run.  It would have been a really nice place to run.  My knee was really bothering me yesterday but felt ok after 4 miles into the run.  Other than that, I felt really good.  Pace was 7:45 at the beginning of the run then dropped to low 7's at the end.  Last mile was 6:45.  Most interesting observation of the run was how many lingerie shops that I passed (at least 5).  Wasn't aware there was that much demand for that in Idaho.

Left knee is a real problem.  I'm going to wait until this afternoon and see if it feels better and attempt a run then.

Just out of curiosity, if I have a stabbing pain on the inside of my knee that makes it difficult to walk, is it alright if I don't run today?  Part of me thinks that it will warm up and feel good once I start running.