Since I do like to entertain y'all with the philosophical side of my
athletic pursuits: when I ran the BC on Saturday, one of the other women on my soccer team decided to
hang back and walk with me, since she's" not in running shape." She is
the same person who told me last fall that she was looking forward to
running a 5k, which just made my jaw drop. If you can play a full game
of soccer, you can run a 5k! Maybe not quickly, but you can absolutely do it, no question. I
digress: we have another friend, K, who very much has the "runner's
build" -- slender, well-built, with good posture and very long legs. K
and her boyfriend removed their shirts for the race, and since I was
with them, I did too. When we three walked over to join the rest of our "horde," they gave me funny looks, so I got really self-conscious and put my shirt back on. Later, during the race, my fellow walker and I got to talking about the acceptability of
removing one's shirt in public places, particularly in the context of racing. My
friend -- her name also begins with a K, but
let's call her L -- told me that she used to take her shirt off when she
wanted, but doesn't anymore now that she's a little older (a few months
shy of 50). I can tell from L's build that she, like K, has been slim,
if not skinny, for her entire life. You know how people on the internet
are always yelling about how skinny is just normal for some women, and
people shouldn't assume they have eating disorders? K and L are the kind
of people they're talking about. So I sort of related to her feeling, but in a different way. I am half-Guatemalan, so I'm very short and slightly stocky in the way that Latin American people sometimes are. I put on muscle with very little difficulty, but I just will never have that long, slender, all-American build that is so prized in the South (ha ha, and everywhere).
Real talk: fast distance runners
are often pretty thin. And they are expected to be thin, which I guess
is fine except for these two things that happen. First, people who are
thin are seen as more disciplined, accomplished, responsible, and
admirable; regardless of what they actually do with themselves. Because, real talk, some people look like that without running. Some people look like that because they are Scandinavian, or because of a gluten allergy, or because they do a lot of cocaine. Second,
it is then "embarrassing" to let the world see that you are not their
image of an athlete, because then everyone will "know" how lazy and
irresponsible you are. It is not even slightly unusual for someone to make a comment about some person "inflicting" their body on the world by wearing a short skirt, tight shirt, etc. Mostly,
I let this stuff go, because it's not my problem and also because you
do see some pretty unfortunate combinations of very unhealthy people and
very unflattering outfits in the high summer in Huntsville, AL. But
where I won't stand for it is at an athletic event. A thousand people
showed up at that race course to put themselves to the test. They should
be allowed, within reason, to outfit themselves in whatever they want
to wear. In that context, the athlete's comfort is above the spectator's
opinion. It was late June and we were crawling through a mud pit and
climbing dirt hills in the blistering heat-- I'm sorry, why should I
keep my shirt on again?
Anyway, as I was getting all huffy in my
head about this issue, L pointed out that K "works hard" for the body
she has, implying thereby that K deserves her reward, which is taking
her shirt off. That pretty much settled the issue for me: I don't believe
in working out to make yourself look better. I believe in doing it to be
more capable. I like being able to do pull-ups because I like climbing
on things. I like being able to run ten miles because, uh, I like
running ten miles. I like being the kind of person who puts time into my
training and accomplishes things because I want to do them, not because
I need approval from someone else. So about a mile in, I took my shirt
off and stuck it in the back of my pants because IDGAF. What, I haven't worked hard enough to earn that privilege, despite
the fact that I work out almost daily and have done so for the past six
years? Sorry, DGAF.
About ten
minutes after making this decision, the slip'n'slide-- a series of tarps
set up over a bare rock face and hosed down with soapy water-- left me
with a rapidly swelling bruise that got so big I looked like I had two
elbows. Luckily, I had my soaking shirt on hand to wrap it, applying
cool water and pressure at the same time. Voila! Good thing I didn't let
ill-guided modesty prevent me from giving myself proper medical
attention. Oh, and-- for exercise, I swam a mile today. Cheers, a.
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