I came up with the best costume ever today: upright bass. Just wear brown, draw on some strings from your toes to your stomach, and draw some cutouts on your stomach... and then whenever anyone asks you what you are, do a handstand. Boom.
Easy. Average pace was slow but I forgot that I walked 2 laps of this (half a mile). It's almost exactly one mile from stop sign to stop sign (the entirety of the runnable area in this "neighborhood") which is on the one hand irritating and on the other hand good for measurement.