I Probably Should Make My Blog Public again

December 26, 2024

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Location:

Rantoul,IL,

Member Since:

May 12, 2008

Gender:

Female

Goal Type:

Marathon Finish

Running Accomplishments:

1/2 marathon  1:43:09--Illinois Marathon, April 2013

10K: 46:50--Safe Kids Run in Crystal Lake Park, April 2010

5K: 22:07--Jingle Bell Run, December 2009

Short-Term Running Goals:

Do another marathon AFTER GOOD TRAINING

 

1/2 marathon in 1:41 or under

 

Break Burt's 5K PR by 1 second

 

10K in 46:00 or under

 

Long-Term Running Goals:

Keep encouraging my family in their development of a healthy lifestyle

 

God willing, I will run until the end.

Personal:

I run with God. I use my running time to contemplate, to pray and to listen for His call. I'm married to a non-runner, but a supportive one, and we have four children.

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Miles:This week: 0.00 Month: 0.00 Year: 0.00
Iso Lifetime Miles: 133.20
Slow milesFast milesTotal Distance
4.000.004.00

This run was enjoyable.  Probably because the temps were a bit lower (mid 70s) and it wasn't as humid.  

I always have good runs when I am ruminating about something.  I read this article that I wish I would have read a long time ago (although maybe it wouldn't have had as much impact on me earlier).  In case you're interested, here's a link:  http://archive.aft.org/pubs-reports/american_educator/spring99/PraiseSpring99.pdf

For a short version, what this article shows is that praise can be a dangerous thing.  These researchers took 3 groups of kids and gave each of them a challenging, but doable task.  Afterward, they praised the kids in the first group for their intelligence.  They praised the second group for their hard work.  They praised the third group generally.  Then they gave the groups a more challenging task, one that they weren't as successful with.  The first group--the "intelligent" ones--HATED the task.  The second group--the "hard working" ones--wanted to take the work home they enjoyed the challenge so much.  But the groups performed equally not-so-well.

Why am I so impacted by this?  I realize that we have been misguided with our oldest son.  He has ALWAYS been praised as smart by everyone, from the time he was 2.  He has always picked up things rather quickly, and of course, as parents we have been proud of everyone thinking he was so smart.  We don't really praise him solely for his smarts, but we don't discourage others from doing it.

The result?  He, even at 5 1/2, gets so frustrated when tasks are challenging.  I notice it with reading:  as long as the words are easy, he is okay.  But throw at him a long word, and his first words are "I give up."  We discourage that, always, regardless of the activity--because it happens with other things too--but now I understand more why he is like that.

The solution?  This is going to be the summer of praising him for what matters:  hard work.  I think it will make a remarkable difference in his confidence when he goes to kindergarten.

And my SIL had her surgery today:  double masectomy.  She got through it well. 

Omni 8 #3 Miles: 4.00
Comments
From Carolyn in Colorado on Thu, Jun 03, 2010 at 10:32:25 from 24.8.167.243

Very interesting. My third son is a classic over achiever and many things come quite easily to him. He knows that he's smart and lots of people praise him for his smarts and other good qualities. He can also get frustrated and be reduced to tears if he doesn't do well.

I hope your SIL has a speedy recovery and that the surgery accomplished its aim.

From seeaprilrun on Thu, Jun 03, 2010 at 11:52:29 from 68.103.243.146

Interesting study--but it makes sense. Hope your SIL recovers well--so glad she made it through surgery.

From CookieLegs on Thu, Jun 03, 2010 at 15:50:39 from 155.101.152.105

This is a very interesting perspective, and it does make sense. I have been guilty of doing this with my youngest son (now 15), and he similarly gets very frustrated when the going gets tough. I sure wish I knew this before - it's interesting how changing a few choice words can potentially make a huge difference.

I hope your sister-in-law makes a speedy recovery and remains cancer free.

From beef on Fri, Jun 04, 2010 at 10:06:01 from 74.78.64.158

I think it's incredible that things such as praising your child for different things makes such a huge difference. There seems to be so many variables to keep in mind when I have kids. Maybe I should keep a list :-P

From Michelle on Fri, Jun 04, 2010 at 10:12:46 from 97.118.36.161

I am glad you enjoyed your run today. I can see that the kind of praise you give children will really effect their behavior. It is a good thing to think about!

From SlowJoe on Fri, Jun 04, 2010 at 23:23:51 from 204.133.180.90

Yeah, interesting indeed. We definitely heap praise on my 3 (almost 4) year old for being smart. Good article. Glad the surgery at least went well.

From Stacy on Sat, Jun 05, 2010 at 00:36:36 from 97.112.18.114

Raising kids and trying to figure out what is best for them is always a challenge. Our oldest, and only son got good grades in elementary and middle school. He struggled a little with his reading but for the most part seemed to do ok. And his teachers always had praise for his work habits and study habits. Then he hit his freshman year and it was like someone invaded his body. He hated school, was not motivated, became very quiet, and his grades were not important to him anymore. Nothing had changed at home and my husband and I tried to figure out what was going on. Getting him through high school was a struggle. He excelled at running and that helped. Now at almost 26 (on Flag Day) those struggles are long passed. Looking back I think he struggled more than we realized and could have used some extra help. 20/20 hindsight. :) Sounds like you are a very attentive mom and your boys are lucky to have you. :)

From april27 on Sat, Jun 05, 2010 at 17:41:19 from 99.188.251.180

This makes perfect sense! They still want you to praise them so when it gets hard they think you won't think they are smart or worthy of praise...praising for hard work seems to be a better solution.

Double mas is a toughy. I'm glad she has you to lean on. I hope she heals quickly mentally and physically.

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