P.V.H.S.X.C.S.T.S.

oh why is it still so so hard? I just want to run an easy three for once. I may go to afternoon practice today, but I just feel discouraged. um, let's see here... I ran with megan today because she's been gone for a while and she was being nice. it's so much better to run with people. I was able to keep with a the big group until about 3/4 of the way to the turn around point for the level ones. I struggled hard core on the way back. I had to stop twice I think. I don't walk my runs, I run them, but I did have to stop and catch my breath for a moment. I was reading my race report from when I broke 30 the other day. It makes me want to be back to that, it makes me want to work hard and get goals again. I just remembered the feeling of crossing that finish line and hearing my time, and that feeling is way better than the feeling of giving up on a run.

PM- um, I think it was kind of a bad idea. I'm so not up for six miles in a day yet. it was slow going and all by my lonesome. I was doing alright until we got to the end of the long street before you turn into the school, there I kind of died. like a lot. I felt horribly exhausted, and not in a good way.

oh my goodness! I am so so so exhausted from yesterday! It was slow going today, seriously compared to the rest of my summer I was going half the speed of normal. It took energy just to lift one foot in front of the other. it's not that I'm sore or achy, I just have no strength or energy. I love being sore, I actually crave it sometimes, but this is just flat out tired. I just want to cuddle up and sleep, or just walk the whole run, but then it isn't a run. part of me says no more afternoon runs for a while, the other part says I better get out to afternoon runs so I can learn to do it. ugh it's so tough!

oh it's all just so dandy. I just feel tired, I don't want to work hard, I don't want to push myself. ah, but I want to get good. I just found out I was kicked out of my online PE class. splendid, considering I was going to take that stupid proctored final tomorrow. sometimes, I just hate school. so that's put me in a sour mood. anywho- my run was fine, the hill was tough, my whole body just didn't want to work though. so that's my run report for today. tomorrow's a grass run. joy.

I haven't run on a thursday in a long time! I guess karma is being kind and letting me skip out on the grass runs. I had to go take some online finals this morning so I was unable to run the whole thing with striders, but I did as much as time would allow. Today's run actually felt pretty good, I was surprised! it was the first time in a long time I didn't feel like beating myself up over slowness, so that was grand! Jake and Nick still hate me, but I think eventually they'll grow to learn to at least humor me and my "outgoing -ness". Jake and Nick I'll get you yet!

ran around the park thrice with chancie. it was a lovely little run, we chatted about actually important subjects and it felt nice to have some conversation more than the superficial "so... what's your favorite color?" but I always enjoy conversation on runs, it makes them so much better. I've really been feeling super tired, I think that maybe if I sleep up I'll have more energy to run a little tougher, so nighty night, I'll see you all on monday morning! I'm so excited for camp!

what is this? Susan running on a Saturday? what? anyway, I saw hoards of people while running today such as Aubrey also on a run, Wes and Jason in a car, Jarad and Joy in a car, and my mother on a morning walk. the run was slow going but I felt pretty good. You know all the times I complain about running alone? well I guess I kind of enjoy it, just not when I should be running with the team, if that makes any sense. I've learned to be a little less hard on myself for not being as good as I was last summer. I've hardly been in town this summer, how am I supposed to be good if I don't practice? we'll I've come to practice whenever I've been in town, so I'm doing what I can.