Today was the BYU Invite! It was a long day. I warmed up 2 miles, then went to the bull pen and got my stickers and did drills and strides. I got a terrible start, people were elbowing me like crazy (a bit ironic, the official even said "if you elbow someone, you'll get disqualified.") It bothered me a bit, the pack was going slower than I expected it to, I was expecting the usual 78 first lap deal. It was an 81. I think I panicked a bit when I realized this group was a slow group, I saw one girl ahead of everyone else and she was getting further away from the pack. I worked up to her, then once I caught her I passed her. My plan was to hit my mile right around 5:35, then finish the race. I came through at 5:37 I think it was. I then just tried to work those 2 laps, I was alone and it was a lot harder than at Arcadia having the whole group pull me along. Then when it came to 800, I needed a 2:50 to qualify, I heard Bill yell that, and for some reason I thought I was going at least that pace, if not faster. The one girl passed me and I didn't fight her like I should've, then 2 more came, didn't fight. Then 400 left I needed a 78, 300 a 55, then I thought "just what I did in workouts" but then I thought too much about it and how much running hurts, then with 200 left I thought maybe I could do it, 100 I decided I could, but it was too late, about 50 meters left I watched the 11:30 tick away on the clock. I sort of gave up after that. I'm mad about my race, straight up mad. I wish I could do it over again. Now it's all up to region, which is on wednesday and now I'm freaked out, I was sure I was gonna qualify today. 10 seconds off, why can't I simply accept the pain like I did at Arcadia and fight people? Tomorrow I race the 1600, I'm scared for it, too, I haven't really thought much about it, I've been so focused on the 3200. I did 3 miles cool down. | 