I'm not crazy...I'm just bored!!

2 miles on the track with Rachael. It was nice to have some company! 

Then I coached her a little bit through some speed workouts on the TM while I just ran 2.0 miles. I think I did them in around 8:13ish pace. Started at 8:20 and went progressive the last 1/2 mile. 

2 more miles on the track. Just a nice easy run....taper time for Boston!

Finished off the evening playing volleyball with a friend's team as a substitute. I love playing volleyball! Fun times! Played against my old coach from HS and some of the girls I played with...yup, glad I'm not 'friends' with them anymore. I'm glad I'm not stuck back in HS playing those games. I feel like I've come so far and grown up so much and am a completely different person, but it is amazing how insecure, self-aware, lonely and shy they can still make me feel. Sometimes it is nice to have something like Boston to bring to the table when you see people like that...oh, and 40 pounds less to carry around than they have :) 

Wow, is it spring or winter? :( I almost chickened out of this run! Driving home from Volleyball at 10PM the weather was HORRID! It wasn't worth it. I made certain parameters that the weather had to meet at 4:40 in the morning when I woke up in order to go on the run. I got up and it said wind speed was only 3mph...perfect! A little cold, but no wind or precip, I'll go for it!

LIAR! My phone app was a liar! As I drove to Chad's house the flags were whipping in the North wind. Son of a....!!!!!!! But, at least it was a North wind which meant we'd have a tail wind on the uphill. I still sucked it up as far as speed was concerned, but I think a lot of that had to do with the fact that along MVC, Emmeline and 6400W it was SO icy. Felt like I ran an extra 1/2 mile just due to the slipping of my feet on push off. I was scared I was going to fall and break and ankle or knee or something horrible. So, I just went nice and slow.

My stomach felt like I wanted to puke and it sure seemed a lot harder than 10 miles on a taper ought to be. What can I do though? ugh. I'm sick of feeling lethargic and lead-legged and sick everytime I run. Boston or Bust? Right now I feel like it is more Bust...

AP: 8:45 splits: 8:42, 8:26, 8:55, 9:38, 8:35, 8:57, 9:04, 8:42, 8:19, 8:14, 7:53 (last .1 to finish).

2 on the track, 2 on the TM progressive starting at 8:20 and finishing at 6:53 TT: 16:10; AP: 8:05

Okay, I'm putting this out there. Please don't take this the wrong way, but I'm struggling. I feel like every run is hard. I can't pick up speed without hurting and I just feel like Boston is going to suck it up big time. I'm really trying to get out of my head, but I just can't! I asked a friend, that I had discussed Buffalo Run with, how to take away all the cortisol I feel building up. How to feel happy again. She said to list out the crap and throw it away and list my accomplishments and strengths and put them on my mirror. 

So, I'm blatantly fishing here. I'm having a hard time. I've neglected my FRB family too long. I think this may be part of my problem. I draw SO much strength and support from all of you and I'm missing that. The demons in my head are taking over. HELP! I need some support and some reminder of where of I've come from and that this isn't going to be a suffer fest, but that I can sit back, relax and enjoy it and not die. I can run. I belong in Boston with all of those amazing people I've looked up to an admired for YEARS. I'm struggling, so I'm begging my FRB family for help...I can do this, right?

The Newtons met for their Herriman Highlands route, but I figured on a taper it probably wasn't the best idea. So, I gave them a head start then did my 4 mile loop that meets their route the last 1.3ish. 

I underestimated their time and got there in enough time to push UP the hill at the Hi Country gate. At the top I only had to wait a bit until I saw their head lamps coming around the corner. 

Chad and Ronnie were together and Chad asked me if I wanted to do a 2 mile tempo. HA! No. But, I just ran with them. I could tell it was fast, but the downhill carried me and after 2+ miles of uphill it felt great. Chatting along and enjoying keeping up with them. At the top of the last little hill on 7300 I decided it wasn't worth killing myself to keep up with them, so I turned and ran back to meet George. YIKES! That was a 6:48 mile I ran with those guys. Amazing what downhill can do for you :)

I just pulled in a nice little clip with George for the last mile+ and had a good talk with him. I can't wait to see him hit his BQ goal at Ogden!

Came home and slept...ahh, sleep. Much better than fighting 2 little boys for some sort of bed space the first part of the night. Well, until I was awakened by my 5 year old telling me he was sorry, but the toilet overflowed.... GOOD MORNING! :)

AP: 8:16 splits: 8:28, 9:03, 9:06, 6:48, 7:59, 7:54 (last .15) can you tell where the downhill VS uphill was?!?

Just a nice little shake out 5K loop this morning. It has been forever since I took Lucy out with me, so I grabbed her leash and we were off. I've let the old girl get out of shape, so she can barely do 3 miles with me, but she stuck with it and let me drag her home. A pretty good AP for her :)

AP: 8:34 splits: 8:30, 8:51, 8:33, 6:44 (last .1) I hit the last downhill nice and hard :)

Got an excellent massage and had a nice relaxing day...well, except for losing my son at 8:00 at night after he'd been sent home 2 hours earlier from his friends and no one had seen him! Give your mother a heart attack why don't you! I was ready to call the cops after going to all his friends houses and not finding him. Craig convinced me to drive the neighborhood first (he'd taken his scooter). Luckily, we found him just around the corner at a neighbors house. A huge mix-up, but golly gee I did NOT need that!

I was going to do another 5K before I left tomorrow, but seeing as it is 12:30AM and I need to leave for the airport by 7:30 and still pack...and sleep, I might just have to put it off until tomorrow evening...in BOSTON BABY!!! :)

I was going to do a quick 5K shake out before the flight, but I stayed up too late (surprised?) and just slept then headed off to the plane! Crazy excited!!!

Lowell and Terry picked me up at the airport, after dropping bags at the hotel went downtown to the finish line! THE FINISH LINE!!! I was there, SO excited! Lots of butterflies and crazy going on, but I was there. I got my 5 million pictures at the finish line and then tried to hit the expo, but it was closed. 

I went into Marathon Sports and bought my Boston Jacket!! They were the same price as at the expo, so I tried them on and avoided the long lines. It was SO neat to put it on and walk out of there!

Then we made our way down to Chinatown to eat famous Chinese food with Smooth. How many years I've read about and imagined this experience and here I am! Doing it!!! It was SO neat to meet so many fun people and have a great night with good food and friends in the old Chinese Theater. It was all surreal!

Headed back to the hotel to get some sleep...maybe :) I had put my jacket on a hanger in the closet and as I unpacked I looked at it and did a little happy dance :) People that say money can't buy happiness have never earned and purchased a Boston Jacket!!! I love that thing :) :) :)