Boot camp and TM....just not feeling it today. Mostly walked on the TM afterward, high incline and slower pace. Did a short .4 to get to at least 1 with the .6 I ran in boot camp. This is long, but I wanted to put it out there for my blogging friends that aren't on FB...so read on if you'd like to come hang out Friday :) Friday may just be another day for some of you, but for me it a day
full of sorrow, heartache, joy and memories. Three years ago Friday, my
father passed away from Non-hodgkins lymphoma. After a three year
battle, he finally was overcome with the disease and given a terminal
diagnosis and two months left. We were graciously blessed to be able to
spend the next three and a half months with him! We got our last
Halloween and almost Thanksgiving...things we had only wished for a
couple months earlier. Thankfully, his last few days of suffering were
few and he was able to leave quickly.
When my father first told our family that he was done fighting and
could eat all the ice cream and candy he wanted (being diabetic these
were few and far between, well they were supposed to be) we were all
crying and upset. He did live in a house full of women after all (3
girls and my mom)! He told us "you know, it's okay to cry, but when
you're done crying you need to get up, brush yourself off and move
forward." Some days are easier than others, but they are ALL moving
forward...sometimes too fast! A few weeks after his announcement I
found out I was expecting our third child, Nathan. Knowing that this
baby would never know his kind, loving, generous, fun, sweet, amazing
grandfather weighed heavily on my heart. However, knowing that they
could be his angel for a few months was always reassuring, so Nathan is
grandpa's little angel. Looking back, I can hardly believe three years
has already gone by SO quickly! Here we are doing the same things,
loving the same treats, sharing the same memories, and I'm STILL
pregnant! Okay, well maybe it's with another child, but still....kind
of made me laugh when I thought about it last week.
My father was an amazing man and had an incredible life journey. One of
my favorite memories of him was when I was a teenager and being
difficult every morning as he would leave for work he would tell me
"Rachel, I love you and I'm proud of you!" I knew he had nothing to be
proud of, but had to love me regardless. Somehow, though, this made me
want to make him proud. No amount of yelling or lecturing would've made
that kind of difference in my life, but him being him...THAT made the
difference. He was raised by a single mother after his father passed
away when he was only 18 months old. I asked him once if anyone ever
stepped into that role for him...he quickly replied with a resounding
"NO". He, however, would always help the single mothers in the
neighborhood and would always help them out with their children. He
also never forced you to do anything, when Lauren was born and we would
go visit and I'd want to show off her latest trick she would inevitably
NOT do it. So, I'd try to get her to do it "She's not in the circus"
he'd say, I'll see it later...when she's ready. One of my last memories
of him is when my sisters, their families and me and my family were all
together for the last time. We SO desperately wanted pictures of him
and us, him and my mom, him and all the grandchildren and on and on and
on; however, again, kids will be kids. They didn't all want to stand
around for forever posing for pictures. My sister captured on video
tape my dad saying "oh, don't force them to do it. You can't force
anybody to do anything." What wise counsel. Loving guidance and example
can do SO much more. He didn't live a perfect life, actually far from
it. Ask anyone who knew him between the ages of 10 and 45 and they'll
be able to tell you some GOOD stories of bad examples :) In 1990 he
made the commitment and decision to be sealed to his family in the
temple, since then he never looked back. He simply grew from the
journey and tried his best to fulfill every part of that commitment he
made.
In honor of my father his life and his memory, I have decided to host
an annual party at my home. At time to remember what life is REALLY
about! Making and sharing memories, living life to it's fullest and
remembering what it's like to be ALIVE. It all goes so fast and is
often gone too quickly. Lets take a day out of our crazy lives to LIVE!
Come join the fun from 10-4 (open house...anytime), eat (my fathers
FAVORITE thing!), visit and have a good time! No...no twilight party
not at all (not that I won't let you talk about it, just no theme!).
Feel free to bring your favorite food to share so we all can enjoy, or
just come enjoy everyone else's food. I would love to see everyone and
anyone...come one come all, come and remember to live, it's really all
we've got!! | 
