(My 2nd annual) Cinco de "Mile" Beer mile Race Report! (Semi-virtual race)
So this year was a bit different. I was back to defend my beer mile title and keep the green jacket that the winner gets for the year. I had gotten a local group of six runners together to compete with the virtual group on a zoom live conference. Overall, there were probably about 75 total runners, and 100 total counting walkers. As far as the jacket was concerned, the second place guy was with me running the same course as me, so at least if someone beat me in another location, I would probably doubt their success. I'm pretty confident in my beer miling, even though it is only once a year.
The course was wicked easy. We went to the now abandoned Clearwater Mall and set up an easy quarter mile loop around a crunch fitness and parking lot and puts cones at the four corners to turn at, but the course pretty much formed itself with the building, curbs, medians, and gate. This really helped. The actual beer mile for the "Cinco de mile" is a nightmare with pedestrians, cars, and a confusing course, so this was a cakewalk.
Fortunately, we were allowed to choose ANY beer we wanted this year. Michelob Ultra it was. I'm not a fool. If someone is letting me pick, I'm going with the world's easiest drinking fuel. At 4.2%, 100 calories, and a watery taste, this was the perfect choice. The guys in my group made some odd decisions- Elia even drank black & tans- now that's crazy.
We set up a table, opened the five beers up in rows for each contestant, and jogged the course so everyone knew what was up. The rules are pretty simple: drink a full 12-oz beer, hold it upside down over your head to show it is empty, toss it in the trash, run a quarter mile, and repeat for a total of four times. Then at the end, you finish with a final 12-oz beer, giving you a total of five drinks and one mile to complete the challenge.
Elia, Jeremy, John, Jeremie, Brian, and myself got ready to go until it was time to start. We had about 7 of our friends who were watching at the fence a bit away from us. A brief "cheers" and off we drank! Brian was the first one finished, and I struggled mightily, which was surprising. I can usually drink the first one in seconds, but I needed to breath twice during the first one. I was second out of the block followed by John, then Elia, then Jeremy and Jeremie. Brian was a crazy man through lap one. He had finished the first 200m in about 29 seconds flat and had actually gained on me. Fortunately, I caught him before the end of the lap and was first to beer #2. I finished before everyone on this one and took off. This was my fastest lap by far. 63 seconds, and I was feeling pretty good. I knew the next one is usually the hardest, but #3 went down easy. The next lap was pretty quick, but I decided to slow myself to have more breath when it was time to down #4. I hit #4 and struggled a bit drinking it, taking a lot of time to get it down and taking a breath every three gulps or so. I had quite a big lead and was off on my final quarter before Brian (second) and John (third) came in to the table. By the time I returned, Elia and Jeremy were still finishing their fourth one while I was starting my final drink! With a huge lead, they set off on their last lap while I finished up my last one, just over six minutes in 6:04. This was the fastest 5-beer beer mile I've ever done. They're a bit more challenging than the normal 4-beer ones.
Anyway, it was a ton of fun, and a nice way to break up these past two months, that's for certain!
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