Patience; the new endurance sport.

It has been chilly ever since I got back to Utah.  Today's temps felt like late Sept.  But the morning was gorgeous. Early morning, presented a pale blue sky, with a thin sliver of moon, and single star.  The lake was still, unlike all these other windy mornings.  My Garmin was way off the first 3 miles. It would'nt mark the mile in the usual place, and then said I'd run a 10 minute mile when I know that was'nt right because I was sprinting every other 1/16th.  I reset it after 3, and it behaved.  I wonder if the satellite shifted positions recently.  Ran into Sarah, and gave her my progress report for Penny's by the Inch.  Me and my daughter will be heading up a campaign here in our neighborhood.  I had planned to only run 8 miles this morning, but ran that extra mile to chat with Sarah.  Not bad to get 9 in on a Monday.  Better enjoy these mornings.  I'm not looking forward to Wedensday when everyone goes back to school, soccer, piano, scouts, YW.  I'm dreading Science Fair Projects, research projects, reports, daily homework, etc. I may just have to start going in late to work (until after SGM) so I can run after everyone's out the door for school.  I didn't get to do all the things I wanted to do this Summer, but it was a nice  break from school and I had a lot of fun with my kids.

8:47/8:29/8:28/8:16/8:30/8:42/8:32 It is perfect running weather and I'm feeling strong.  This is exactly where I hope to be one month from now (time wise anyway, because location-wise I could think of at least 2 other places I'd rather be).

I can already feel the crushing tedium of the school year routine setting in.  6:30 a.m. found me in the kitchen packing lunches, cooking breakfast and thinking: "I could be running right now."   Because I get equal satisfaction from work and from running, this is the time of the year I fantasize about quitting my job so I can run later in the morning (and also have the house to myself for the rest of the day).   The only difference is that no one pays me to run-- so that always tips the cost to benefit ratio.  Man, I'm already sick of school, and they haven't even come home with their homework yet.  Some women have the trouble of pushing their children to be successful so they can live vicarously thorugh their children's accomplishments.  I don't have that problem.  I am the most self-centered, selfish mother on the planet.  I am actually incovenienced because my kid is in honors English and Algebra and was recruited for a great AAA soccer team.  The only thing I can think of is "That much soccer and homework will ruin my schedule."  The good thing about being that self-involved is that my kids can always be sure that their successes are their own.  I can promise you, that aside from providing a roof over their heads, few nutritious meals a day, and tucking them into bed at night--that whatever good they acheive in this world will be a testiment to their own character.  They are such good kids, and I am such a selfish woman.

9:18/9:03/8:57/8:44/8:17  Ok I'm calmer about the school thing today.  But that's probably because I only had 5 miles to run this morning, and was able to fit it in between when the last kid was out the door, and when I had to be to work by 9:00.  It's anything longer than 5 that is hard because I either have to get up at 5:00 am and run in the dark, or be late for work, or run at lunch in the heat.  I guess it's always like this the month before a marathon/when I'm aiming for 40-50 mile weeks. Yesterday, everyone had a great first day of school and then...my daughter handed me her game schedule. Games all over the freeking state for the next 3 months every Friday and Saturday.  Not to mention Jr. Jazz from October-March for my son starting in October.  I keep reminding myself that this is the great benefit to living in Utah-- lots of kids, organized sports, good schools, decent, amazing people, caring & involved neighbors.  I guess a big part of me craves solitary isolation and neglect of my childhood.  We had no choices and we were bored out of our minds most days, which made doing chores the best enterainment around.  I survived, and  just look at me now! I'm 100% (ok, at least 85%) functional in society.   So I'm always torn between gratitude for the opportunities Utah affords my children and my desire to run away from here.  I was really meant for farm living.  Single minded hard work every day that does not allow for thinking or wallowing, and the children must work just as hard as the Mom.  That way of life makes good kids, but hardly anyone lives that way anymore.  Why can't I just be grateful and calm like everybody else?  That would help.  I'm freaking a little.  Can you tell I'm freaking?  Sorry.

Tommorrow is Hobble Creek Half marathon. I hope it's a good experience.  I'm feeling strong, but not very social right now.  In fact, I am having a really hard time finding the bright side of things lately, things that really should be bright.  So here are my positive thoughts for today:  I am healthy, my children are healthy, the sky is blue and still, and I love the onset of September.  I was lucky to be outside before 8:30 in the morning, and my dogs have now had some excersize.  I'm going to lunch with friends, and I have some free, unconstructed time coming up this weekend.  Let's just pause here for now. 

Mindy and Catherine picked me up at 5:15 and  we drove frantically in the dark freaked out by the detours and construction.  We found Erin, and loaded the buses with no problem at all.   It was warm by the time we started and a lovely down hill trot for those first 7 miles.  I really let it out on the downhill and gave it a pretty good shot today.  I did have to stop to use the POP at mile 10 and I stopped to drink (at the 3 stations).  But normally my big weakness is the last 2 miles of any race.  Not this race.  I just kept saying to myself:  What if I just keep running?  What if I give it my best?  I'd say it was an 80% effort overall, and certainly toward the end I did push the last half mile.  As proof of my effort, after crossing the finish, I had to hold onto the chain link fence of finisher’s corridor as I dry heaved my way up to the chip takers.  They kept yelling for people to stay in order, but at least 4 people passed me up while I was trying not to hurl in that confined a space.  Of course the first 7 miles was like eating candy-- all down hill.  It sure gave me a leg up when it was time to finish the race.  The run was gorgeous along the creek.  I truly enjoyed around mile 4 when all the excited chatter calms to the quiet, solid sound of feet hitting the pavement.  That's always my favorite part of a race, when people retreat into their minds and it's just the runners, and their pure mental tenacity working their way through the miles.  I passed a lot of people in this race, so I got a lot of encouraging comments from other runners "that-a-girl" "hey, no passing!"  "Keep it up" "looking strong".  I loved the encouragement; particularly because I was trying and it was working.  I had a little trouble through mile 12, but like I said really picked it up to finish strong. The clock said 1:50 at the finish line, but I was one of the LAST people to go across the start.  Finished about 3 minutes behind Cath who said we were 2-3 minutes behind the gun. So my guess is my time was 1:47/48.  I'll turn this into a race report once the final numbers are in.  After the race, Catherine go really sick (hyponeutremia). Her electrolytes get freaky.  So we were by the ambulance for a bit with the oxygen and Gatorade. But I think she'll be ok....she does this almost every race and seems to bounce back in a few hours.  In spite of Catherine's slow recovery, I got to say see many my running friends.  Didn't recognize Leandra until she'd passed me after the finish!  Chatted with Kellie (who's on fasciitis duty)(good girl for not running).  Saw my good pals Marisa and Dave, who did awesome (in the 1:35 range), chatted a bit with MaryAnn, and best of all saw Josse and her Mama (and of course Josse's kids and sis Erika).   It's funny, I was really regretting having signed up and paid for this race even as late as yesterday afternoon.  I always regret paying money for a 13 mile run you can map out and do on you own for free.  But you just never know what shared experiences await if you just get out there.  Of course, post-race endorphins are pretty awesome too. Spits are as follows: 8:26/7:45/7:51/7:37/7:46/7:39/8:13/8:26/8:35/8:54/8:32/8:46/8:29