Failure makes me work even harder.

AM- 3 miles with 4xhill sprints and 4x100m F pace.  I felt amazing on these.

PM- 4x30secF w/1 min rec+3x800I w/2min rec+3x1000T w/1 min rec w/Harts.  I did awesome on the 30 seconds hard.  Those felt really good but then I started to lose focus and turned inward and freaked out questioning whether I could finish this workout (which I do normally unfortunately).  The 800m were a little disappointing, but I can't take them back now.  So, I refocused a littl and really dug on the 1000m.  I saw Nick was struggling, so I helped him by motivating and pushing him (literally) just a little to get him going, which helped me go faster!  I think I am going to try to talk to myself out loud if I start doing this or just try to help my teammate out (even if they don't need it) to get me to stop thinking about myself.  I didn't know coach said to go the last 100m all out so I just went in and michael took off and I was like what they heck? and I found out later haha!

AM- 3 easy.

PM- Michigans w/ 1 mile warm/cool w/ striders.  This workout was the most embarassing to pvxc from me....I am sorry to everyone who watched it.  I gave up on myself...the worst thing you can do and didn't dig deep.  I didn't talk to anyone after, just kept asking myself "why did I do that? thats not me...where have I lost myself in running?"  I was frustrated cause I didn't know the answer.  Then, a friend asked me why I started running.  And he said as soon as you forget why you love something, it becomes a chore.  Running is hard enough and there is no room for people going through the motions.  I thought about it and I just need to write down why I love running:

- All of the team and coachs attitudes, examples, and fun they bring into my life

- The ability to be gutsy and dig so deep that you find a new you.

- The satisfying feeling after you've given it all.

- The feeling of going fast for miles at a time.

-The fun we have on runs.

- The feeling of being in tune with myself and really figuring out things about me I'd never find anywhere else.

- The feeling of improving and proving yourself wrong

I think I've forgotten that.  I'm sorry that I have been such a poor example of what PVXC is all about in my recent workouts.  It won't happen again.  I promise.

AM- Michigan w/ 1mile warm/cool....again!  This time I was determined to try hard and not give in to myself and give up!  I was pretty much on pace until the last 1 and 1/2 I fell off a little bit.  The last 400m I tried to push myself.  It felt good considering I had run hard the day before.  The workout half a day earlier really hit me as soon as I hit the second 800m, so it was hard.  I know all I have to do is train myself to push hard, because really I believe in my abilities (heck I tell myself all the time that I have the physicallity to be with mike), but I everytime it comes down to a workout and pushing it I freak out and slow down.  So it was nice to not back down.  30 seconds off of A standard...not too bad considering how tired I was, but always room for improvement!

PM- 5 w/ 2x400m.  I was hurt today, but I was just like suck it up ya whimp...if pre can run with a bleeding foot and win a race, you can run a 5 miler with a little soreness.  Then, we had 400m at I pace and I ran 2 seconds behind mike on the first one and the second one I just stuck with him even when he started to pick up the pace...and the crazy thing was I felt perfectly fine other than I was breathing hard...but everyone breaths hard at I pace.

AM- 3 easy to AC.

PM- 5 w/ 4x200m.  Did really well on the 200's, just need to make sure I keep pushing off the ground hard and quick.

AM- 3 miles easy to AC.

PM- RACE!  You know I was nervous for this race before hand, but I calmed myself and said...why do you like racing?  And, of course I used the competitive side, I like beating people!  And I said...why get stressed over the people I don't beat...when I can celebrate beating more people!  That doesn't really explain it well...you'd just have to be me to understand.  But I really didn't stress near as much about beating so and so...but deep down I wanted to beat them so it was a good combo!  I started out a decent pace...maybe a little slower than I should've, which is one little thing I need to improve, but I didn't get out bad...I got out well!  I then fell off the leading group through 1/2 mile to 1 and 1/2 and they gapped me, but I think if I just stick it to the main group from the start I could defintitely stick it with them.  The key for this race was I pushed it when I started to feel a little tired.  I still wasn't all out, but I actually felt a little fatigue (which I haven't felt in a race yet).  I really shouldve passed brigham and moved for the next group, but I hesitated and doubted just a little bit.  This was a huge step for me mentally and really feels like I can break through at region and race my hardest and my best!  The crazy thing is everyone was telling me how great I did...and I didn't even realize I did that good until I heard my time!  Need to work on my last mile, but really I thought it was one of my best races!

Woke up and did a run on the misquito trail and back.  Threw in about 6-8 30 sec. fartleks just to keep the legs moving!  I felt pretty weird this run.  I really was running super slow, but it was just one of those days that you just didn't feel great, but you don't really feel necessarily bad.  I am really going to push this week, so that I can reach my goal of cutting down the gap between me and mike to less than 30 seconds (which isn't a terribly hard goal considering I was 46 seconds behind him last meet), but I'd like it to be more around 20 seconds.  I still feel like I need to work on pushing myself, because I still have a lot left in me!