Believe to Achieve

Saucony 5s.   2.63 mile warmup to the track.  Slept 5.5 hours.  Just can't seem to sleep past 4am.  I try to fall back to sleep but I can't.  When I can't sleep (like before work) my body COULD sleep.  It is a vicious cycle of insomnia and fatigue.  I did not want to do this 3 mile time trial. I chose today and now I think I should have waited until tomorrow.  I just felt so crappy.  I started out nice and easy to the track in my flats and man alive I had to work out many a muscle cramp.  Why am I getting so many muscle cramps and spasms??????  My legs and feet just hate life and the I spiral into a sad state...just wondering if I ever will feel good again and maybe it is literally all DOWNHILL from here.  Honestly I can't feel like this every day much longer....my muscles just don't synapse right or something.  They are still spasming.  What the heck?????   Am I that old?  Geez louize!!   I am angry at my body. I am trying to feed it right and still-- Pains everywhere in my joints-- from my neck to my elbows to my right pinky finger--- these are less severe than pains in my legs (mostly left) and ankles.  FLIP OUT!!!  I am trying not to fall into an abyss here but day in and day out of this is really getting to me.  Say a little prayer for me, anyone!!  I do everyday I start a run I just ask that I can do my best at what I have planned.  Okay on with the time trial-- oh I ran into Kim and Jane at the track.  How cool is that?  only I can't even run with them anymore because I feel so losery.  But it was great to see them and to know they were out there working hard too (they were pretty much done just as I started)!!  I warmed up two laps at the track (total warmup 2.63 miles at 8:33 pace) then stretched shorter than I liked but I wanted to start before Kim and Jane got to me (the finish of their last SW) and then I would feel I had to run that fast when I was running 12 laps and they were running 800s.  The only good thing about this run is the fact that I ran 9 SECONDS FASTER but HOLY crap I was nauseated the last several laps.  I ate 1/4 of a banana and two sips of gatorade before leaving.  Not sure why the intense nausea???  I was slowing not speeding up.  Oh and the LOVELY SPRINKLERS were in FULL FORCE for my entire run.  I was soaked to the bone after two laps.  They seem to try to "get me"....grrrr!!!!  My feet are soaked.    I sure hope they stop them over the next few weeks so I can run sans DOWNPOUR!!!!    So I lost you again, sorry.  Here are my laps:  1:34, 1:36, 1:34, 1:36 (6:20 mile :D), 1:37, 1:38,  1:40, 1:41 (6:36 mile), 1:39,  1:40, 1:41, 1:36 (6:36 mile).  3 mile trial in 19:34 (two weeks ago 19:43).  Garmin read it as 3.03 miles, same course no swerving either time trial and last time garmin read distance at 3.06 miles!!!  SO obviously the GARMIN IS NOT ACCURATE on a TRACK.  I started and ended the same place so no error there.  Funny about the garmin.  So NO more freaking out over garmin distances please!!!  If it is certified turn off the garmin mode of your garmin and run in lap mode and overall time mode, the safest way to play the game!! :D.     BTW after two laps my thighs felt so very tight I wanted to give up at lap 6.  Somehow I got my brain to fire those legs.  Turnover was pathetic.  Not a good track day at all.   Cooled down with 1/2 mile around the track and two miles back to home.  8 miles total today.  Off to shower.    Oh one last thing--- I need to do shorter distance speedwork to work out turnover.  OVERALL I am happy with 9 second improvement feeling as crappy as I did, poor sleep and NO speedwork since Rachelle and I ran four fast at the end of our 18 miler two Saturday's ago.  Hence the need for some shorter speedwork. 

okay plan was 12 at "i don't know" pace.  Started out and was like....FLIP out NOW my right achilles is bugging me (it bothered me since my run with Rachelle on Friday) and yesterday I thought I wouldn't be able to run a mile but I just waited for my muscles in my calf to calm down.  Well today I was like SERIOUSLY????  and when I sas my pace at 10:30 in the first .3 miles I was going to call it a day--- but something in my head clicked and I told my body to do some little "bursts" of speed (10 seconds or so) to WAKE my body up.  First mile ended up being 8:51 (phew!!)-- but then oddly my pace increased EASILY each mile (despite my stupid left ankle and the tender achilles-- my endorphins kick in running a little quicker and my form is MUCH better, more natural).  So after 3 miles in I was at a 7:09 pace for mile four (so 8:51, 7:56, 7:31 and 7:09) and for some reason I could NOT slow down.  I just wanted to run fast so after each mile I just decided to make it a tempo (marathon pace tempo that is) and even thought of Jake's advice yesterday around mile 7 so I kept it up on a hilly course (up and around Kim's house etc...).  Last 6 miles--- ( I only had time for 10 miles (had to take kids to school and got out too late, dang!!)   7:12 (all uphill), 7:04, 7:10 (HILL at Kim's house :D), 7:05, 6:58, and 6:50.  The 6:50 pace was not easy for me but all the other miles felt comfortable.   So  I am guessing my MP is 7:04-7:06.   AP for 10.2 miles =  7:23.  THEN I dropped off the my kids and the jr. high carpool and drove up to the mouth of the canyon--- 30 minutes later I added my last 1.8 miles in the breezy tunnel of the canyon, nice and easy, though my legs tightened up from the rest they awoke after the first mile but darn after that it was uphill and into the wind!!  AP here 7:53 :D.  12 minute ICE bath in the AF river.  AHHHHHHHHHhhhhh!!! very refreshing.  LIKE WHAT IS UP WITH THE WEATHER?????  98 degrees yesterday. Today it was MUGGY and LOTS OF BUGS flying in the air.  I swallowed one.  Geez.    Pretty much a 7 mile MP run at 7:04 AP :D.   Felt strong.  Now to go get an injection.  VERY nervous about this.  Like what if I can't run after he injects me?????   

My run today was what I needed. Read below. But first--injection yesterday into my left L4 and S1 nerve space in my lower back.  The needle going into the skin of your spine makes one jump even though the Dr. says "don't move".  Ha!!  When he confirmed the S1 nerve with the tester-- Zingg!!! to my ankle-- the problem foot!! Ahhh the right spot.  Then he proceeded to tell me AFTER the injections that the anesthetic works for a few days and then the steroid takes up to 10 days to take affect!! 10 days!!!   If at that point I have relief or quite a bit thereof he wants to do ANOTHER injection as he says the pain relief from the steroid is cumulative.  But NO third shot.  After that it is electrical stimulation and an EMG (muscle/nerve test).  All afternoon the nerve to my ankle was trying to come to life-- lots of spider feelings. So I am hopeful that it was my back the whole time. 

So today-- I woke to my days thoughts-- hmmm I want to run up AF canyon.  Plan only 8 miles so I said I will run  4 up/4 down starting at my ICING place (where the Timp half gets on the trail at the mouth of the canyon).  I drove my kids to school and the carpool and headed up there (four miles from the school) and nonchalantly started running.  Nice canyon breeze and the smell of pine trees.  It was 8:10 am.  I am loving life.  Okay, not the purest amount as my RIGHT achilles (I had this problem for several years ending last year so I should be used to it) very tender but the more I climbed the less sore it was and then it stopped hurting all together about 1.5 miles up.  I was running easy and it was weird to see a faster mile on an uphill mile in the canyon then I see around the morning loops at my house before work.   Miles up  8:33, 8:21, 8:24, 8:22 (hey my marathon pace for Saturday going UPHILL :D).  I stopped for about 40 seconds at the top to let two girls who were running down catch up with me.  I wasn't in the mood to have them pass me downhill.  Mental crush even though I had no plans to run fast.  I was running at the seat of my pants you might say. The best kind of run because after saying hi to the girls (realizing they were running about 8mm) I took off running and while running changed my garmin out of hide mode and changed my settings so I could see pace (I am getting talented at doing this)-- 6:53 in the first .2 and I wasn't even breathing hard.  The uphill obviously got me ready.  So downhill miles were so easy that I just took it in stride-- 6:40, 6:27, 6:15, and the flattest mile in the sun....  the mile that goes by the toll booth and swerves several times and ends at my car across from the Cedar Hills trail was a whopping 6:06!!!  granted I picked it up the last 1/4 mile but I am in shock I could even run that well from the last two days-- SW Monday, Easy Tempo work yesterday but not slow that is for sure yesterday.   This felt easy except for the last mile.  6:06 I was sweating profusely with the sun gleaming at me and the cars wanting me out of the way.  But my WELCOME mat at my car was the COOLEST of RIVER spots.  The best therapy after a run.  I cooled off quickly with 13 minutes of icing.  AWESOME.  I meditated.  NOW don't you go thinking that I got any sort of subthree in me this year.  That is not my mindset this year.  Getting there in a comfortable piece is my goal.  NO PAIN at the starting line.  Kind of like today.  I felt NO pain running downhill (a slight soreness in my back at the injection site thatis all).  I felt like myself.  A little glimpse of last year.  AP for 8 miles= 7:23.  AP up= 8:26.  AP down= 6:22.  : D.    I have no idea why I ran the way  I did other than I will be running 26.2 miles at 8:24 pace-- this may have gotten some of the boredom out of that pace.  Okay I won't be bored-- I will be a cheerleader.  : D. 

Worked all day in Orem.  NO run today.  Planned day off.  Then BYU football game as soon as I walked in the door. VERY bad idea.  Wicked late game (supposed to sleep well the night before the night before the marathon).  Got home at 1230am.  Buzzed from all the commotion and could not turn my head off. 

Regrettting my decision to watch the game last night.  Troy's birthday.  He enjoyed it.  I was exhausted from getting up at 530 am and working all day.    In bed at 1245am and head was spinning.  Eventually fell asleep.  I saw the clock at 445am and felt like I had not even slept a wink  You know the hangover headache you get from being up all night, like ragnar??? that is me right now.  I didn't even think I could run this morning.  And what is up with this humidity???  It is draining me.  My head hurts from lack of sleep and so wondering how I ever pulled off my SGM last year as well as  I did on NO sleep.  I was a train wreck before that race.  I feel the same way I did a year ago that day.  So glad I am just pacing ever so slowly at 8:24 at the Pocatello Marathon or I would have tons of regrets like last year.  I am going to have to find a way to fall asleep  SG marathon week.   I can't do that again.    8.5 hilly miles = 8:23 AP.    Don't worry followers I will hopefully sleep tonight :D. 

Ragnar revisited.   Drove up to Pocatello with Rachelle, Rachel, Jonathan and Blaine.  Little sleep last night and NO sleep tonight.  Met my roommate at the hotel.  Her name is Chelsea.  First time pacer along with me (for a marathon.  I guess you can count TOU last year for one friend).  We chatted the night hours  away and then did nothing but toss and turn.  I wasn't even nervous.  I think I just wanted sleep so badly I couldn't sleep.  The expo was small.  The pasta dinner was fine except I had very bad stomach cramps and ended up heading to the bathroom three times during my Pacer Shift at the expo.  I figure I ran SGM in 3:08 last year with no sleep for several nights in a row-- what's a measly 26.2 mile pacing job?  NOTHING. The weather was overcast and muggy and perfect for a marathon. 

I had about 15 members in my pace group.  Very sad to lose them when we met up to the slow half marathoners and the course flattened out with some rollers.   I slowed as much as I could when I started to lose them but I couldn't keep that up as our Pace Director wanted us to run an even split the entire course without a garmin.  Just a stopwatch.  I completely am all for the NO garmin so it was liberating to me.  In fact the people in my groups garmins ALWAYS went off before the WELL marked (accurate) course markers.  Everyone knows that can mess with your head at the end of a marathon as it only adds on distance.  I tried to tell my group to not look at their garmins.  I was their garmin.  Several were thankful to "lose" their garmins for a while.  I took a potty stop at mile 13 that put me about 30 seconds UNDER the 3:40 pace (8:24).  After that everyone in my group slowed and all I had left were stragglers from earlier pace groups to encourage and get to run the last miles again.  IT WAS VERY SAD to see my group fade in the distance as I probably appeared to be galloping into the distance.  I was really only running on the pace after slowing to encourage my group.  I walked thu all the aid stations.  The group was thankful for that.  I got one guy at the end to run the last 5 miles with me and he finished just under 3:39!! :D.  He started with the 3:05 group so I was glad to get him back on course!!  There were several guys in this situation.  Three girls in my group wanted BQs.  Only one came out with the BQ.   Quite the bummer.  One missed it by 36 seconds.   She was passed by the 3:45 pacer.  So wish my roommate had grabbed her arm and pushed her with her but her watch had technical difficulties and she was running faster than goal pace.  This aches me!!  So sorry for this woman with her last chance BQ.    Splits for the record per stopwatch:  8:24 (drum roll please :D), 8:04 (oops too fast), 8:28, 8:17, 8:12, 8:21, 8:25, 8:20, 8:12, 8:12, 8:19, 8:03, 8:44 (slower walk thru aid station to not be too under time), 8:29 (potty stop just before the 13.1 mile mat-- crossed 30 seconds before expected time-- EXACTLY where our pace group leader wants us-- ABSOLUTELY NO GOING OVER the goal and only 30 seconds faster-- I was 37 seconds faster, but hey it was my first day on the job!!), 8:48 (perception talk with my group as now we are running with 11 min/mile half marathoners), 8:40, (same problem but congestion thinning), 8:24, 8:25, 8:13, 8:27, 8:21, 8:26, 8:17, 8:27, 8:21, 8:28,  and 8:30 for the last 0.2 miles=  3:39:23 (8:22AP).  All of it felt easy.  HOWEVER symphysis pubis burning again.  My body doesn't like too long of runs.  No other soreness except nerve pain in ankle and lower back. 

PM-  BYU women's soccer game with family that included a brief thunder/lightning storm.  Fun night.   They won 2-0.  :D.