Believe to Achieve

My left foot is very swollen, including big toe.  Right where I had bunion surgery in 1996.  It feels like its broken but I know its just tissue injury.  Ice feels great.  I can't believe that I am reviewing this run in a more optimistic light.  I realize several mistakes:

1.  don't work two night shifts three (mon and wednes night, that's like three in a row right there) days before the race.

2.  don't play chaffeur for my girls for their big dance recital both Thursday and Friday ALL DAY-- between rehearsals and hair to be done for three girls.  I forgot to eat.  I ate probably only 500 calories before arriving very late to the pre-race pasta dinner.  I was running here and there and everywhere.  Ooops forgot to drink until 630 pm, occasional sip at the water fountain.

3.  don't sweat the small stuff.  I got very anxious waiting around at dance rehearsals and couldn't relax.  I didn't have time to meditate what the heck I was about to do.

4.  wear TRAIL shoes.

5.  Put food in my sack especially at AS 8.  I had only one gu for 8 treacherous miles and one 20 ounce water bottle, half of which went on my head to stay cool.  Big L on my forehead.  I guess I'll  leave a camel back for me to grab at that AS.

6.  ACTUALLY TRAIN on trails with treacherous climbs.

7.  Run longer than 3:14 minutes (Ogden Marathon time).

8. Start out a 1/2 hour slower.  I think my early pace was fine, my endurance for long just wasn't.

9.  Pick a partner.  I was kind of lonely at times especially when I was LOSING it mentally at Windy Pass. 

10.  Know the course.  Now I do.  I won't expect AS 9 any earlier now.  That was a tough one to take, a mile off schedule at a crucial moment. 

11.  DON'T RUN OGDEN three weeks before unless I turn around at the half way point and run back up it, SLOWLY BOTH WAYS  : D. 

Right side of quad and right foot not up for running.  weird my leg problems used to be all on the left.  Must have been the fall in the river and then in the snow/mud.  Both falls were to the right.

First run since the big 50+ miler.  Right hip feels WAY OUT.  Right side of quad pulling it even more.  Right foot feels out of place in my new/old looking shoes.  Still swollen in the plantar region.  I ran into a my bishop's daughter-in-law taking off on her easy run this morning so I joined her.  She is in town visiting while her husband is off in Arizona hiking with the boys of our ward in the Grand Canyon.  We ran a nice easy pace up to the Mt. Timponogos temple and around and back down.  Pace 10:09.  Going for an adjustment today.  

4.1 miles.  Back in a lot of pain.  Difficult to get legs to turn over.  Ran in the morning at 8:28 AP.  

Taking Mel and Kim out for Birthday/slash preRACE victory luncheon with the kids as well.  Cafe Rio to the Park.  Kids will probably get McDs or Wendy's.  Melanie is running the UVM.  She is so going to be close or right below a 3 hour marathon!!  We are soooo excited for her. 

Went to chiropracter.  Forgot to mention a few things about Squaw Peak:  I couldn't move my legs UP the steep miles to Windy Pass.  My muscles weren't sore, my lower back was achy (I had taken oodles of ibuprofen by accident.  The nice AS helpers (4- 14.6,  6-  26.2,  and 8-   33.5) had my drop bags and took them  out and offered them to me,  so I accepted.  The achiness was lessened but  I think it contributed to my headache and nausea.  I could not move my legs because of the pain in my lower back.  When I reached the summit and had to traverse downhill mud and snow my hips and ankles were sooooo unstable and then I fell and had to walk even slower.  The nerves in my feet were so on fire that each step was transcending "NO MORE" to my back and up to my brain of course.  Tuesday night the swelling in my back came to a head-- my shins were numb and my feet had lots of pins and needles in them.  I could barely lift my legs to walk up the stairs.  When I laid down I pressed on my lower spine-- sacrum and all the nerves in my lower back itched like crazy and sent out a screamin' firey pain signal to my legs and feet.   My run yesterday was painful-- hard to lift the legs.  All day yesterday my lower back felt very swollen.  I now realize that the reason why I couldn't move in the run was that my leg strength was affected by whatever is intruding upon my lower back.  I am going to make an appt with a specialist to get the test I was supposed to get done two years ago to the day.  I have/had a brain malformation called Chiari.  I got that "fixed" but there is a chance of a tethered cord if the symptoms don't go away.  A tethered cord is when the spinal cord attaches to the end of the spinal column in the sacral region and tugs on the brain and spine causing lots of pain and neurological damage.  I also lost bladder control on this run.  Not the usual dribble but complete water fall of loss continuously without  warning.  I stopped and peed about 10 times between mile 43 and 50 because I felt like I had to go sooo badly.  Another sign.  I went to a specialist two years ago and he said it is most likely I do have one but I needed one more test.  Well I wanted to continue running not have surgery if that came out true so I ignored his orders to get this tested.  My spinal cord lies low on MRI so that is why he supspects it.  The chiropracter yesterday said my sacrum is VERY tight and it is very important to figure this out soon or have permanent damage.  I am at the point where this is hurting my running more and my body that I have no choice then to figure this out very soon.   This would also affect blood flow to my kidneys and then subsequently the adrenals that lie on top of it.  When this is figured all out I should be breaking PRs left and right : D.  I really haven't enjoyed all the drs visits in the past .   A lot of them looking at me like I am just wanting more drugs and others just not having the time to figure things out.  Hence, why the long wait to get to one.  But now I have a new Bishop called last Sunday.  He is a family practice Dr. and surely should know where to go.  He just got back from two years as a military Dr. in Iraq.  Troy is exec. sec. to him so I asked him to figure out who will not stop until answers are found. 

7 easy miles up 1100 north on to the canal and over to farm road.  Back ailing and saddle numb.  But still I run.  I need my daily dose of natural medicine.  AP @ 8:48.  

Clocked out of my work at 4:58 am.  Drove home  (one mile) and dressed on my front porch.  Couldn't get my timing chip on my shoe in the dark and I was pushing the clock so I just put it in my pocket of my shorts.  Really getting sleepy but not quite through normal end shift time so knew I could at least last through this half at an easy pace.  Arrived just outside the tunnel of the half marathon start at 5:34 am.  Thought I would miss the 5:30 am start but hoping it would run late.  It did and started at 5:44am.  Enough time for me to use the porta-potty and mingle in the crowd.  Didn't see anyone I knew. I stayed about half way back.  Not going for a PR after an all nighter and a 51+ miler not even a week ago.  Hoping to just keep it at 8:30 AP but after two "warmup" miles at 8:38 and 8:36 I looked down at my watch reading 7:30 current lap pace and decided to see how I could do with that since it felt real easy.  Remember I ran Ogden with an AP of 7:24.   So this even on no sleep was totally doable, except for the ailing saddle soreness and nerve pain down the back of both thighs.  This prevented me from lifting my legs fully for a good stride.  But I knew I could push thru the pain as I always do.  I have an appointment with a specialist next week to work through all this ridiculous lower back pain.  It sure does throb!!!  Pain scale score 7.  Oh well.  I am a true blue masochist.  I passed lots of early pace pushers and never was passed after mile 3.  I am pretty confident that if I slept and hadn't run the 50 last week that I could have run this thing under a 1:30.  My heart was totally strong the whole way.  It was the pain holding me back.  It did this to me at Ogden and the last 10 miles of my 50 miler.  AP for 13.17 miles = 7:36 (I started my watch with the gun so I have added footage and  I am using my garmin time as I don't know chip time yet.  Actually I probably won't have a chip time as I was signed up for the full marathon and ran the half.).   It was fun seeing my AP change from 8:38 down to 7:36 with each subsequent mile.  Here are the splits:  8:38, 8:36, 7:30, 7:30, 7:18, 7:23, 7:24, 7:35, 7:28, 7:32, 7:19, 7:19, 7:19 and last .17 at 7:15 (no sprint, just taking it easy).  Slowed and drank up at each aid station.  Tried to help push other runners throughout the course.  13 miles versus 50 makes it all that much more doable.  Got a  ride to my car by a good friend (THANKS JESSICA!!) and saw the unbelievably fast women runners this year.  Melanie looked strong at mile 22.  Amber was soaring about 1.5 miles ahead of that.  Some woman came in at 2:45!!  I didn't make it back in time to see Melanie (at least she had her nephew there to pace her).  The single lane traffic and tons of lights made it impossible. I was frustrated but what do you do? I got a great view of all the runners from the halfway point to the finish. Great food at the finish.  Steak fries and pizza hit the spot.  Went home slept from 1045am to 3:05pm.  Off to work all night again very  soon.