Believe to Achieve

daylight savings kickimg me hard--- it always falls when  I work.  I actually TOTALLY forgot it was daylight savings.  Sunday morning when I got up for work my husband had changed the clock for me while I was sleeping.  I got in my car, drove to work and flipped out when I saw the clock in my car and my watch read 5am!!!  I thought  I had inadvertently changed the time on the clock or my kids did and now I was at work a whole hour early (but not really).  I sat in my car for a few minutes wondering if I should go home then decided the night shift would be glad I came in early.  But it turned out to be daylight savings and I was OBLIVIOUS.  Sooo....thinking I got more sleep when I got less was a good thing. It is better then going to bed thinking I was going to get one hour less before getting for work at 6am.  It was funny to me.  On Saturday I was put on call AFTER I already got up and ran at 430am.  Then Sunday I got up at 430am (530am really with the new daylight savings) and then today I got up at 415am (but really 315am only two nights before) and ran before work and heading to Provo's hospital.  I am beyond tired.  My feet hurt.  My whole body is begging to drift off for hours and I plan to do just that when the darn sun finally goes down!!!  I am so tired I am eating junk.  Gaining weight and feeling sluggish.  AP this morning 7:51 for 8 progressive miles (not intentional at first, but when I got to mile five and seeing the progression I decided why not continue with the trend).   Splits for fun: 9:13 (so stumbling, so tired), 8:19, 8:02, 7:47, 7:37, 7:25, 7:19, 7:07.  : D.  I think after Boston I am going to mellow out for several weeks and see if I want to even race SGM.  I am feeling too tired.  And my feet and heels aren't healing.  I need a long break.  REally long. 

okay....something is going on....my legs and feet are THROBBBINGGGG!!!  they HURT SO VERY BADLY!!  the last time they hurt this badly my iron level was almost nil-- 5.  Crap.  Off to get it checked here today.  The pain is intense throbbing /nerve-like pain from my knees down to my feet-- ALL OVER my feet.  Soo okay last night I fell asleep early about 9pm.  BUT why on earth did I fully awake at 12 midnight????  could not fall asleep. Went downstairs and counted sheep.  Didn't work so I took a sleep aid.  BIG MISTAKE when I awoke at 630am to get my daughter up for piano and take her there then take off to the rec center for my 12 planned miles.  I was going to do 800s and just COULD NOT do BUT ONE.  First I ran 5 progressive miles for a warmup at 2% incline (acually 1 percent for the first .75 miles and 3% for the last 1.25 miles of the warmup).  The miles were: 8:57 (so feeling incredibly tired), 8:41 (starting to wake up), 8:27 (ahhhh this pace feels nice), 8:13,  8:00.  Off TM and stretched and pottied.  But getting back on was tough.  I was so tired.  I ran a 1/2 mile at 8:00 pace at 1% and tried to do an 800 at last summer's pace (6:00) and the DARN TM was off center and dragged me over to the left side.  I think the rec TMs are adding to my left leg sciatica problem.  AND the fact that I was so very tired I knew this was not the day for speed.  I opted for plan B from a lesser workout that is on an old schedule  - 6 x 600s at 5k pace.  I ran them faster than 5k pace but slower than the 800.  6:11 pace for all of them at 1% incline.  After each one I had to hop off the TM in TOTAL dizziness and tiredness as I put the pace down to 8:57 for one lap.  It was miserable I tell you.  So miserable that I considered quitting after only doing two but I got all six in-- one being an 800 at 6:00 pace and the rest 600s at 6:11 pace.  Those felt fine except I was so LOOPED out on the sleep aid that I could not focus and my legs were behind.  I ended with three cooldown miles at 8:00 AP 2 % incline.  It doesn't end there.  I got home and Troy was all raring to go shopping.  3.5 hours of grocery shopping!!! double coupon and price match galore.  I was complaining the whole time.  I am sure glad my husband doesn't mind shopping. I absolutely DETEST it!!!!!  My legs and feet were the real problem. THEY THROBBED so badly that I could barely stand.  INTENSE nerve pains in both feet.  I am not sure why I am having this flare but it DOES not feel normal at all.  I am beyond exhausted.  My body seems to be shutting me down.  Blah.   My mind has different intentions but it is going to have to give in for a few days.  I am going to run so very easy the next three days.  Like a TURTLE.     And OUTSIDE in the nice air.  

Newsflash:  I could sense the spiral.  It was all too familiar.  1 1/2 years ago in August before the SGM I could no longer keep up with my friends and it was hard to breath uphill.  I also had so many joint aches especially in my lower legs and feet and back.  I mean intense pains that I could barely move.  Well....over the last few weeks (except for a good week last week but was preceded by a LONG visit from my cousin)....I crashed hard this week.  The lack of sleep and the continued pounding of my feet to the ground (foot-strike hemolysis) I was having a hard time with my breathing (especially on my run yesterday).  I had to jump off to the sides to catch my breath when other workouts I could easily decrease the pace while still on and go faster. My left foot also developed QUITE suddenly-- plantar fascitis, during and after the speedwork)-- obviously I was oxygen depleted to those areas.  Well, ALL day yesterday my legs and feet hurt.  Excruciatingly so.  Pulsating, burning, tingling, like I was walking on coals or something.  They have been hurting since SGM (but not to this intensity) but  I am just that stubborn.  BUT,   I just could not stand it any longer so I got out my order form my Dr. wrote out for me for December (yup, bad patient=  nurse).  I headed over to the lab for my ferritin and DHEA level (the hormone responsible for dealing with stress on the body, sleep cycles, the powerhouse hormone for cortisol and all other hormones in the body like progesterone, testosterone, mineralcorticoids-- fluid/electrolyte balance).   Just now I looked up the results on "MyHealth" where Intermountain Health allows patience to see their results.  My ferritin is VERY low.  Running performance has been highly noted to drop when the level goes below 25.   Mine is 10.    1 1/2 years ago it was 5!!!  I felt worse then.  But I feel VERY close to THAT crappy.  Like anymore strenuous workouts will take me down.  My DHEA was VERY LOW.  Today it is 48 and it needs to be above 75!!!  1 1/2 years ago it was 44.  It was 61 (still low) just after SGM   LAST YEAR!!!  When I felt crappy.  I honestly DON'T know how I made it thru these past few months of training.  I have pushed through A LOT of pain.  And when  I say I pushed it was ALL MENTAL.  It hurt but I was so angry about the SGM that I wanted to be back where I was.  And here I am a bottom DWELLER again.  My feet and lower legs hurt so much.  Low ferritin and DHEA cause your body to SHUT down.  Low ferritin (iron) doesn't allow your tissues to get enough oxygen and your legs cramp and feet will hurt.You will feel fatigued often.   DHEA won't let you sleep normally if it is low.  The body won't adapt to stress well.  And this leads to problems with cramping as well.  Pains everywhere.  BLAH.  I hate pills.  But I can handle the DHEA so  I am sure I will be a good patient this time.  I expect after four transfusions of iron I will feel like WONDER WOMAN again!!!   ANOTHER thing  I noticed after the transfusions were that ALL MY INJURIES disappeared.   MY LOWER back pains and leg pains. GONE.  AND I SUSPECT the double plantar fascititis (it used to only be my right foot) that is currently showing its ugly head, will be ANNILATED!!  Plan after Boston???  To get rid of my cousin once and for all.  Sorry.  It seems the best thing to do.    She has overstayed her welcome.    10am--  8 miles easy pace.  BUT OH MY if I thougth my right foot had bad plantar fascitis my left took over the slack and won the Gold Medal!!  Holy smokes--- yup I ran 8 "easy" paced miles on an injured fascia.  OUCH, to say the least.  It would not let up the entire run.  I kept thinking it would but it just would not.  Surprisingly I was able to run 8:21 AP.  First mile 8:53.  Last mile 7:56.  Right now I have ace bandages wrapped around my ankles and feet.  This helped a lot last night.  But when  I awoke this morning my left heel/plantar was quite painful to walk on.  I tried massage. OUCH.  Then I warmed up my foot in warm water.  Both of my feet were cold to the touch.  I thought this would help oxygenate the fascia.  It felt good.  But as I started out on my run it wasn't so.  But lucky for me the wind and air felt so very lovely.  It was nice to be out there.  It is all in the name of PAIN.  Those last few miles at Boston can't be ANY worse.  Mind over BODY-- until the body screams out for IV iron I guess.  I should be getting my first transfusion Friday.  They are weekly x four.    I can be RE-BUILT  :D.

INJURED.  LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM RUNNING.  TEMPORARILY OUT OF SERVICE.   CLOSED FOR REPAIRS. 

13 painful hours working on pediatrics caring for sick children.  Non-stop busy so tried hard to use my leg as only a peg to walk on as any way to push off on my foot was beyond what I would think necessary to get a point across to me.  I stopped running BODY,  SO THERE!!!!    The only way out of this is a steroid shot.  This pain WILL not let up.  What in the heck???????  10k this weekend in SG will be a walkathon with my daughter Courtney.  We may run one mile of it.  She has never run over 1 mile.  This is part of the Runner's Series for a guaranteed entry in to SGM.  LOL that I want to torcher myself with THAT race again.  I am losing that runnin' feelin'.  I couldn't even cycle right now if I wanted to or use the elliptical it is THAT bad.  blah. blah blah.  So FRB NON-INJURED runners MAKE ME PROUD.  I will be cheering for you!! : D.  

I was feeling really super about my AP today of 4:42 for 8.4 miles on my bike when I realized that (despite the fact that his company would be wonderful) Jake would be right up beside me running a tempo run.  Then my head sunk.  Must go for 4:00 pace next time.  This was actually just a rolling hill get my legs going kind of ride (and occasionally my heart) on my daughter's Walmart brand mountain bike.  My foot was not runnable in the slightest but is 50 % better than yesterday.  Can't quite find a Dr. to give a steroid shot yet so running this weekend looks grimm.  10k with Courtney in SG.  I will run/walk it unless I am miraculously FAITH healed!!  

Steroid shots 445pm.  Left for SG at 530pm.  Arrived 9:00pm.  NO miracle.  Feet actually worse.  Pain pretty bad.  Like wheelchair bound type walking.  OUCH.  I got my right heel done (got the fascia done in november) and the left plantar fascia and the shots actually made the pain there about 10 times worse--- making it hurt more than my left foot before the shot.  After my last steroid shot in November I was instantly cured.  This had me worried.  Walking the race was going to be difficult.  We (my daughter Courtney and I) got to my in laws close to 10 pm after we stopped at Panda Express for Orange Chicken and del taco for a strawberry shake.  My father in law insisted we watch a movie with them.  So I gave in.    We went to bed at 1250am!!!  Tossed and turned mostly the whole night.  Yay.  Not nerves just because the movie we watched was about two lions that ate people.  It was historical so I actually didn't mind watching it.  But  quite intense in parts.  It is called Ghost and the Darkness with Val Kilmer.  Anyway.....my father in law insisted that we watch it.  Got to our packets at 8am and headed up on the bus to the start.  Saw Smooth, Teena and Rachel.  A nice surprise.  I  suddenly NO longer felt like I have ever run a step in my life.  The pain in my feet was that unbearable bit I had to hang tough for my daughter.  As we started out I was tip toeing and still it was awkward running.  After two miles my right heel pain settled a bit but we were only running an 11 minute mile pace.  We actually ran a progressive reverse run--- faster at the beginning and slower every mile thereafter.  Courtney was very upset.  She had never run over a mile before and was barely hanging on mentally and physically after the first two miles even though it was rolling downhill.  I was surprised how many runners run this slow in a trot like place.  We would pass the same people over and over.  It really was an eye opener to the variety of runners out there.  It truly was inspiring!!  Courtney got cheers which only made her more upset at me.  She didn't want anyone to change her mood about wanting to quit.  But like a trooper and with my CONTINUED gentle verbal pushing she got going when she tried to stop and walk.  She walked about a mile total of the race.  Maybe a little more.  Oh and a two minute porta potty stop.   She came in just before me as she gained momentum seeing the balloons.  I was so glad to be there with her and am actually glad my steroid shot bombed on me so that I wouldn't be tempted to "race" this one and miss out on encouraging my daughter to finish strong.  She agrees she would have come in over 20 minutes later if  I were not there.  I have to give her credit.  She wasn't feeling well and has hay fever and a possible asthma diagnosis.  She tends to have to catch her breath a lot.  Wish we had gotten her a dose of Teena's inhaler.  I plan on getting Courtney worked over with an allergist this next week.  She has a lot of allergies to outdoor pollens.   I take for granted that I can breath easy but she honestly struggles to breath with running and states "mom I am just not a runner like you",  " I hate running because it is hard for me to breath".  So under those circumstances she is quite the trooper for sure.    As for me??? Boston may be walked as well if I don't get these feet heeled up.  I am taking it one day at a time.  What will be will be.  I am not too worried.  Baffled.  But not worried.