Believe to Achieve

just ran with stop watch and by feel.  couldn't see my watch until mile 6.  think at 10k I was at 43:50.  ran veyo conservatively but surprisingly as fast as last year-- i am an uphill runner :D.  don't have my splits, i got too much water on my watch that is not water resistant and the screen went blank the last mile and has yet to dry out.   i didn't even talk except once to ask the group beside me if they new if strawberry cliff shots had caffeine-- i couldn't read the small print, my up close vision has been going this past summer---Jenn Hughes was apparently right beside me and said she would read it for me but i had already tossed them aside.  i ran up veyo two to three seconds behind her.  this marathon felt like a TRAINING  run  (TIME FLEW BY) until mile 23 when the 3:05 pacer guy passed me with a herd of people and i had an anxiety attack.   i only wanted 3:07 but he was flying so fast that i thought crap i might not even get my 3:07.  and how did i forget about running with him??  i started in the elite corral and the pacers have to start after that.  i was having an out of body experience even getting to the starting line.  lack of sleep for the past four weeks was showing.  i forgot some of my gus in my bag and only ran taking ONE gu in the race and 5 gu chomps.   the cliff gus on the course all had caffeine so i had nothing else.  HENCE the last two miles of a solid WALL-- 8:30 pace for the last two miles.   I wanted to pull over and end it all.  It hit suddenly but evidently it was lack of fueling.  no leg cramps however thanks to taking three salt tabs.  I had TONS of nerve pain down my spine and both arms and down my back and to my hamstrings-- all nerve-- no muscle pain whatsoever.  AND for the first time NO blisters at SG and NO CHAFING!!!  not even a lost toe nail.  I was surprised how well i felt at mile 19 compared to last year!!!  I came in at 1:34:3x at the half and so that means a 1:33 second half.  Three minutes lost in the last two miles.  Silly me and my lack of preparation.  i don't really like to plan out my fueling.  it has been a bad habit of mine.  jane gave me the salt tabs last night.  i bought gu at the expo but lost two in my bag.   All in all i am pretty happy with my pr considering my training started mid august and my state of mind has been a real downer.  i really did not want to run today so i am just glad it is over.  met master runner speedy woman--- allydia barton who was 5 seconds ahead of me at the finish-- and in the past has run sub3 several times.  very nice.  we met on course when she offered her water bottle to me around mile 11.  she had those special bottles to pick up.  i prefer not to worry about ever having special bottles--- but i would prefer sunglasses at mile 20.  the sun's glare was working on giving me a headache.  I also had a reaction to the new tar they had just poured at mile 24 diagonal street-- the fumes made my heartrate sore and my brain became very fuzzy.  the smell was making me sick.  i saw the mile to go clock at 2:59:xx and had a hard time doing the math that should be real cut and dry.  i couldn't even figure if i had a pr or not--- but now looking at it-- if i could read my watch i would have tried a little harder for a 3:06 :D (especially seeing that 2nd and 3rd in my division were 3:06:43 and 3:07:13-- but unfortunately when i run i have no killer instinct-- i am just happy with a pr) .  I pretty much ran real slow to the finish.  i remember seeing carina pass by me and was like "hi carina" in my head but i don't know if she noticed me or not.  i was so excited to see her and have someone i know be next to me at the finish but never saw her again.  i stayed in the shower for at least 5 minutes.  she chipped me by a lot-- so cool, post baby speedstar!! :D.    next year after getting my health in order i will attempt another pr (3:06???) even though the last two miles today sucked badly that i thought of quitting.  have to make the 10 year club.  WON 100 dollars-- first utah county master :D.    not sore yet so will be interesting to see what tomorrow brings.   drove home at 6 pm with kim and jane.  they rocked sg with 2:57 each.  jane had the flu on monday and iv fluids thursday.  she thought she was dying at mile 11 and nearly passed out on the course-- -NO WATCH!!!   kim was her watch and her guardian angel.  she was badly hurting and never in her running career ever felt that crappy-- her legs cramped up at mile 18.   but still-- 6:30 pace for the last two miles!! :D.  i love it!!  they run 50 miles a week and work out at the gym with spin and are amazing to behold!! :D.