Believe to Achieve

Was the most relaxed for any marathon or race I have ever run.  No nerve.  I felt calm.  Calm because it was not going to be a PR unless I had some breakthru so if  I did then all the better.  I even slept four hours.  After 2am I was up for good.  So....I decided to take the "EARLY BIRD" bus and see if its worth it .  The marathon gives out prizes randomly to anyone who is on a bus from 4am to 430am. I didn't win anything.  But  I must admit it was kind of cool being on the first bus to the top and the music pumping my blood on the bus-- our driver played some good 80s music.  Then to get off at the top and the air mild, warm even.  No need for the fires or my sweatshirt.  It was basically not a good sign but nice since I was up there early.  I sat outside the Elite corral having met a first timer and feeling young again as she was the same age I was on my first.  It was nice chatting.  Still no nervousness, just anticipation.  The music at the starting line was pumping me up.  I was ready to go and I still had two hours and fifteen minutes.  I tried laying down then I made my way to the Elite area and saw my Ragnar Teammates.  Never saw Mel and Kim until the finish.  We did our good luck hugs the night before.  So I stood at the back of the Elite start when the gun went off.  My goal was to feel good the entire time.  No nagging hamstring/back pain, limping hip problem.  I wanted to feel like running was a part of me again.    I went out by feel.   I pretty much ran a 22 mile training run then coasted slowly to the finish.  In fact I am the least sore of any marathon I have run minus the same old same old with my back and nerve pains to my butt and up my spine.  I was hoping to feel really strong at mile 15 and "fly" the rest of the way down.  But that's a story you are about to hear.  It became a mental game--- pain, no pain, pain , no pain......and I gave in.  I couldn't make my body be in that same pain as that dreaded 20 miler with Melanie.  Just as I was about to feel each vertebrae burn with pain I backed off.  I wasn't stiff and lactic or hitting a wall I was at my back pain threshold and striding quicker would surely rip my back and hips apart.  Wimpy me.  I plan on some hypnosis to overcome this fear  : D.    It all started on that last 7 miles of the Squaw Peak 50 miler....7 EXTREMELY PAINFUL MILES.  Every single step.  And so now.....HOW TO OVERCOME?  running a marathon is painful....I think I am getting to where I can train myself to a point but if the ENTIRE training isn't there I am not going to push beyond the point to where there is NO glycogen and muscle fatigue is too intense and I am sore for days.  I didn't do the work and I most certainly plan on doing it next year if all falls together right.  It makes sense to run smart.  I feel soo much better this year.  I can walk well.  I can bend over.  I can clean.  My back and spine hurt like crazy but that's really all.  Here are my splits:  I ran a huge POSITIVE split.  Too funny and pathetic.  Seriously I think I had my breaks on on the second half.  I am afraid to run fast downhill.  So bizarre.  But again MENTAL!!!  

Miles 1-13--- Felt so easy so wonderful so like really?  will I easily do the second half and come ahead without working hard?  I am just a fool.  7:40, 7:38, 7:07, 6:54, 7:03, 6:56, 6:58, 8:01 (Veyo, purposely slowed it down), 7:37, 7:39, 7:49, those all were with the uphill grade, mile 13--7:13.  Half way 1:37.  Pelvis and nerves in hamstrings beginning to burn.  Back beginning to ache.  Apparently my body is refusing another half. 

14-26.2:  Just keep running.  I just can't bring myself to pick it up in gear.  I thought at mile 15 (aide stations are every odd number miles) I would take some Ben Gay and put some on my hamstrings.  Well I grabbed  the tube from the gal and took a huge wad and rubbed my hands together and placed them on my lower back.  Within a minute I realized what a HUGE mistake this was.  STOP the marathon.  I have to stop.  I am burning up.  Stupid Ben Gay is burning my back.  My back is on fire.  Jalepenos to the spine!!  A million bandaids being ripped off at once.  Holy FREAKIN' MOLY how am I supposed to concentrate?  Every runner that went by me then got an ear full of my experience.  This stuff was penetrating my spinal cord.  Is this a legal med?  Geez.  I haven't used it in years but its powerful stuff.  It did the opposite of helping me.  I even picked up someones wet sock from the middle of the road and tried to wipe as much of it off as possible.  The intense buring lasted for over two miles.  NEVER AGAIN.  Thankfully this wasn't some major PR day for me.  That stuff should be banned.  My mom said Ben Gay shouldn't be applied when you are sweating because your pores are wide open.  LOVELY.  Where were you mom at mile 15?  JK.  Anyway....I pulled through that disaster.  Kept telling myself to hang on til mile 21 then just scale it down to 8s to the finish.  And those were the words my mind and body so muchly liked.  I high-fived little kids, I slowly ran thru sprinklers but I did sprint .27 miles to the finish.  Yup, all my weaving gave me an extra .07miles.  Dang then my time would have been a 3:17.    Last half splits, read em' and weep:  7:25, 7:05, 7:06, 7:19, 7:31, 7:58 (long uphill stretch), 7:43 (downhill and  I can't move my legs since they are attached to my back), 7:26, 7:56, 8:03, 8:01, 8:16, 8:03 and 7:16 for .27  the road I think was actually stretching.  Stood in the sprayer for a good 5 minutes.   High fived my family and hung around the runner crowd for a bit. Swam with my kids and Mel and Kim families at their condo.  Oh did I mention it was hot?  Yes, it was the hottest SGM on record.  Maybe that's why  I tanked?  I am not a good heat runner.  Myself and many other runners that ran today.  I did meet some bloggers that had exceptional races despite the heat!!!  Way to go!!! SERIOUSLY and you KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!