Believe to Achieve

Julie, just be glad you have only had to deal with this (so far) twice in your life. Those of us that are clinically depressed feel like that a lot more than we'd like to admit. Although running and meds help a TON, but there are still days I wish I didn't feel the way I do and I have to do a lot of 'therapy work' with myself to get back to where I need to be. I think my family would LOVE if I cleaned when I was depressed :) instead I sit around doing nothing. It doesn't help when your baby is being a twit and won't go to the daycare so you can't workout or you have to be sleep deprived and wake up before 5AM to get a workout in everyday. Yeah, I think I'm right there with you today - hurting foot and all. Maybe we should go to lunch and have a pity party? :)

Nice job working hard and getting those crazy 12 miles in despite how you feel!! I wish I had some good answers for you, but unfortunately my answers are usually personal time, chatting with friends, running or meds.

Rachel thanks for your understanding. But to share some more DARK secrets about me-- PPD wasn't my first bout with depression. I dealt with it twice when I was teenager. The second time would scare anyone. Clinical depression is real. My story is quite sad....BUT I made it through. Sometime on a run I will share it with you. Trust me it was intense and took over a year out of my life when I was 17. I almost didn't graduate....but I will wait until a long run with you. I was extremely fascinated by the lack of compassion I overheard while at Cafe Rio with my husband on my birthday a few weeks ago. A woman in line was telling a guy friend (she looked 10 to 15 years older than I, so in her late 50s), that she just could NOT understand depression. Her attitude was one of "just get over it". And "you put this on yourself". It was intriguing to me since I had been through hell and back several times that this woman had experienced no depression ever. She even said that. She said "I have never been depressed or down". But she said it in a rude tone. Like an "I am better than others" tone. I was working the courage to say something profound to her but just left it at that. I figured she has A LOT of growing to do. And she should count her lucky stars rather than judge those that are depressed. I would never NOT ever want ANYONE to feel the way I did when I was teen. NOT even my worst enemy. I pleaded with God to save me. At times I was certain he may not exist. And then a miracle....a miracle. : D. Hang in there Rachel!! I do so understand.

Julie, you will definitely have to take and easy week and come pace me on a tempo run of mine and keep me entertained with your story. Once I realized I'd been depressed all my life and did something about it, my life changed. People that haven't been depressed really don't get it, they do think it is as easy as just getting over it. They don't understand that that is the ONE thing we WANT more than anything - to not deal with it. I am very vocal about my depression and hopefully helping others as well. I'm glad you understand, I hate it somedays! I'd love to take a long run with you sometime, especially if you are hosting breakfast afterward! :) Hang in there too - we can pity party together anytime!

Great job on the treadmill! I am laughing at the shaky treadmill, I hear ya! It is nice that our rec center is so new, very few shake. But my feet get so loud I feel like everyone stares.

Also, totally funny that you do not do the full minute OFF. Think about this, it takes 8 seconds to GO UP just like it takes 8 seconds to GO DOWN, so it all evens out to a full minute each way. ;o)

I had the same problem with Vanessa--I worked 12 hour shifts, came home, and she nursed all night, then back to work. I was profoundly sleep deprived. And, she was colicky. Tough, tough babyhood, and depressing. Sometimes life stinks so bad, so bad. Running means a lot to me--it keeps me sane, seriously! Hang in there.