Go, you chicken fat, go away!

The sun was just about to come up this morning.  I ran to the Floodway entrance and saw the Ashcroft family was about to leave the  Floodway on the south side of Adobe.  Br. Ashcroft is hard to miss, even when it's kinda dark.  My legs were feeling sore from Saturday, so I didn't push it at all.  I made it to Brown without seeing anyone else.  When I turned south down the RWCD road, I saw a beautiful sunrise and stopped to take a picture.  Then I started to see more people.  I saw the two guys that were running together last week.  Now they were walking together again.  I saw some runners and dog walkers.  My underwear was pretty tight and felt like it was going to chafe my undercarriage.  They were so tight that I couldn't grab them and pull them away.  I finally had to reach inside and pull them down.  This happened about three times.  The last time I just pulled them down to the midway of my rump and left them there.  I hope no one saw.

So, here's another story.  I'm friends with Sasha, the blog founder, on Facebook.  (In real life, too, as he's stayed over at my house a number of times for the Phoenix Half Marathon.)  He made a post about Russian propaganda on Facebook.  As we all know, Sasha is Russian.  The point he was making was that a certain newsworthy thing lately did not seem like Russian dissemination.  I commented the following, "Those crazy Russians!"  Now clearly that's a joke.  But guess what happened.  I was censored for it.  I violated the "hate speech" rules.  I contested it, and lost.  But yeah, contested it?  I didn't even get to plead my case.  All I could do is say that I believe I was not violating their rules.  So I guess you're not allowed to make jokes of any kind that involve race.  And that makes for a pitiful society.  When we can't laugh at others while laughing at ourselves, that's not a world I want to live in.  So maybe I'll stick to the blog instead and ditch Facebook.  Unless of course it was Sasha that reported me.  But I'm guessing it was an algorithm.

I got dressed to go running yesterday, but I wasn't done with the job that I told my client I would be done with the night before.  So I worked instead and thought about running later.  I never did.  So I just wore my running clothes to bed.  I woke up at 2:30am and checked the election results.  Still not official. I had a hard time getting back to sleep.  I think I slept for about an hour between 4:30am and 5:30am.

I started running at 6:20am.  It was starting to get light out.  I could see two figures coming toward me.  Girls.  I bet it's Edythe and Rhoda.  "Is that you, Rhoda?"  Her hand raised to wave at me.  Rhoda is so nice to Emily.  Last week Emily and I went on a walk.  She knocked on Rhoda's door and Rhoda was so excited to see her and initiated a hug. Emily has always been a hugger, but she's learned not to during Covid.

My pace was a tad faster today than Monday.  I need to continue to be consistent, and not miss more than a day of running.

Apparently I forgot to blog this day.  So....I got nothing.

My wife kept asking me what I want for dinner.  I wouldn't mind fast food, but really it's not a good idea knowing I was going to run Usery in the morning.  I asked Emily what she wanted, and of course she said Taco Bell.  I decided I could stomach Taco Bell.  I also decided I would go with my wife so I could look at the menu.  It's changed so much lately.  I also decided I would take Herbie with us.  I made a lot of decisions.  So we drove to Taco Bell with me in the passenger seat and Herbie in the back.  He liked sticking his nose towards the window.  I saw a new item that looked good.  A nacho cheese gordita or something.  And of course I got two Doritos Locos® Taco Supremes.  But as soon as I told my wife what I wanted I jumped out of the car with Herbie.  I figured I was about a mile from home.  Turns out it was 0.90 miles.  I was hoping I could beat her home.  We started running.  Herbie wanted to sniff every light pole we passed.  Or pee on it.  I failed to think about the fact that he probably had to poop.  And he did.  So I ducked down and pretended like I was picking it up.  But I just left it there.  We got to Adobe and headed west.  I wasn't running fast, but faster than normal.  Then Vickie drove by.  She slowed down and looked right at me, but she said she didn't see me.  I got home a couple minutes after she did.

Usery Pass, I did not miss you.  Earlier this week I sent a text message out to Vickie, Maggie, Alyssa, Mike, and Glen.  I said that Vickie and I wanted to run Usery this Saturday at 5am, but only wanted to do 4 miles - 2 miles up and 2 miles down.  Maggie said she wanted to come.  Alyssa said she would come even though that's early for her.  Mike asked what time.  (He didn't read close enough.)  Glen didn't say anything.  I hope I sent the text to his correct phone.  So yesterday I texted again and asked if anyone wanted a ride.  Maggie said she did.  Mike said he wasn't going.  Maybe next week.  Alyssa said nothing.  Glen said nothing.  After my Taco Bell I went to bed.  I didn't go to sleep right away.  I finished binge watching Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  Seems like it might be the last episode ever. 

Vickie and I both woke up at 3:45am before the alarm went off.  As I was sitting on the toilet, I heard both of our phones go off.  "Who's flaking out on us this time?"  although I knew it would be Maggie.  Sure enough, she needed more sleep.  I texted her some random emojis.  She texted back and said it was raining.  I went outside and there was a bit of a drizzle.  I checked on Maria, and she was staying dry.  She still sleeps next to the back door at the top of the steps.  Then it started to rain buckets.  But after about 5 minutes, it died down.

So Vickie and I left.  We were running behind so I texted Alyssa to see if she was coming.  I told her it was raining.  No answer.  By the time we got there the rain had completely stopped and we got not a drop while we ran.  Vickie put on a brand new head lamp, but realized it didn't come with batteries.  So I figured I'd stay with her.  We pretty much run the same pace now anyway.  We both had on reflective vests, and I had on my tail light.  She turned on her flashlight on her phone.  She stayed right behind me the whole way.

At 0.9 miles I saw a light on the other side of the road.  I thought, "What if that's a cyclist that has collapsed or something?"  So I went over to check it out.  Vickie followed me.  Turns out it was just a pen light.  Or something.  The cover was broken, but the light was on.  Weird.  We went back to the other side of the road.  Vickie said, "We're messing up our times."

Cars usually come in bunches.  Or pairs.  They get stopped at the light at McDowell Road.  It becomes a single lane each way road, so usually you see at least two cars coming.  But I saw about 5 or 6 coming at once.  The first three passed by and it looked like two more were coming.  Then I heard a man's voice.  I turned around.  Where did that come from?  I looked ahead and realized it was a pack of cyclists.  Or a gaggle of cyclists.  Whatever you call them.  Riding together, they gave the illusion of a car.  When I finally realized what was going on, I stepped to the side.  I was off my game today.  Usually I'm more alert to the cyclists.  I guess it's been a while.

Shortly after that I saw a van coming toward us.  There was a truck right behind it.  The van was driving kinda slow.  I wondered if it wanted to pull over.  I was hoping if it did, that it saw me.  It passed by us.  A few minutes later the van was coming up from behind us lightly honking the horn as if to say, "I'm a friendly."  Was it Alyssa?  Does she have a new creeper van?  I guess I'll never know.

We were approaching the two mile mark.  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and Strava said we were at 1.97.  But Vickie said we were at 1.90.  I decided I better run just a little further to make sure we hit 4 miles without having to run around the parking lot.  Maybe the jaunt across the street skewed our numbers.  I went to 2.03 and turned around.  From there it was all downhill.  I saw a few more cyclists coming up.  I stepped off for them even though it was dark and unstable.  I kinda thought we wouldn't see any cyclists today because of the rain and the slick roads.  But they're hardcore.  I got back to the 4runner and I was at 4.06.  So I guess Strava was pretty consistent.

Before we went home we drove down to the river to see if we could see any wild horses.  We didn't.  But we did see a magnificent sunrise.  So take that, so called friends.

I spent a large chunk of the weekend reading some of my old blog entries.  This blog used to be so fun.  I had a blog long before I had a Facebook account, so in between the blog and Athlinks.com, they were my social media.  And I used to reach out and try to meet new people.  And I used to love to encourage people.  And I used to love to make new friends.  But along came social justice warriors.  And along came Facebook.  And along came quitters.  And along came me getting out of shape.  The blogs certainly not as fun anymore, but it still holds so many funny memories.

So it was actually cold today.  Not bundle up cold, but I could feel it.  I got to the Floodway and saw 7 people within the first quarter mile.  That's a lot.  But I didn't see anymore people in the next quarter mile.  I turned south down the RWCD road and saw one of the couples that I had passed.  Then I saw another couple and wondered where they came from.  Then I recognized it was Sterling Massey, the guy from my ward that I just started following on Strava.  He was running with his wife and his dog.  Two Saturdays ago Maggie texted me to help her move a piano to her house.  Bishop Coombs, Sterling, and Greg Spencer also showed up.  Sterling and I talked about how we run the same routes much of the time.  Knowing that lately he's been running just shy of Brown Road before he turns around, I wondered if he would be turning around soon.  They did.  And they passed me, although they were on the other side of the Floodway.  I think he realized it was me, but he didn't wave at me until he could tell I was looking.  They got to Adobe and started walking.  I had to wait for about 10 cars.  I've never had to wait for that many cars!  But I think it was because school was starting.  When I finally crossed I was able to catch up to them.  Then they started running again and passed me.  They weren't going that much faster than me, and I actually was running about a minute per mile faster than I was last week.  So we finally crossed paths when we were switching sides at University.  I stepped off the sidewalk and into the road so they could pass by.  I already had a conversation worked out in my mind.  "Hey guys!  It's finally cold, huh?"  But all I got out was, "Hey guys!"  Sterling said, "We finally crossed paths."  I said, "Yeah."  And that was it.  Other than his wife's giggle.
 

I got up early this morning.  Even earlier than David, our rooster.  I started running at 5:45am, and it was still dark.  And cold.  It stayed dark the entire time.  I like running in the dark, but I always slow down.  My pace was about 16 seconds per mile slower than yesterday, so not terrible.  I passed by one couple.  I couldn't tell if they were people I see all the time.  Just too dark.  When I got to Adobe again I saw some red lights flash on the signs hanging on the fence.  There's a clean up after your dog sign and a no fishing, boating, motorized vehicle sign.  Where did the red light come from?  I looked down the street and didn't see any cars.  Then I realized there was a dark figure running toward me.  He was wearing an LED light on his back, and I just didn't see him right away.  We said good morning to each other. 

It was cold, but it'll be a while before I'm not wearing shorts and T-shirts.  So even though I could feel the cold, I could also feel that today's run wasn't such a chore.  I guess I'm getting into shape a little bit.

Another dark and cold morning.  I left at 6:02 am, so I knew it would start getting light out on my run some time.  It was dark up until I got to University.  I hadn't seen anyone.  I finally saw a lady walking two beagles.  She said good morning to me before I said it to her.  Shortly after that I saw another guy walking his dog on the other side of the Canal.  I waved right as he turned his head to look at his dog.  I didn't think he saw me, but he waved back with his head still turned away from me like a cool cucumber.  I got to Main Street.  On the northwest corner of the intersection of Main and Higley is a tree that I call the bird tree.  There's always hundreds of birds in it.  You can't even see them, but you can hear them.  I heard a few and I waved my arms at it as I ran under it.  I woke the rest of them up.  The sun hadn't quite broken the horizon yet, but I could see pretty good now.  My last two miles were faster than my first two even though it didn't feel like it.
 

My legs were sore today.  Hmm..just one extra mile than normal and I feel it the next day.  It was 6:18am when I started running.  I wore a sleevless shirt which rubbed both my armpit and my ribcage raw.  Yesterday there were no clouds.  So when the sun came up, the sky started turning yellow.  It's the clouds that make it turn pink.  Today we got some pink.

This morning Vickie and I got up early.  Vickie is going to Zion to hike with her friends.  I planned on going running right when she left.  But not a minute had passed by and Emily was awake and in my room.  There will be no running this morning.  I went outside to feed the chickens and collect eggs with Emily and Herbie.  Herbie got excited and started running full speed.  He wasn't necessarily chasing the chickens, but he was scaring them.  Then he ran right into my knee.  I'm glad it was my knee instead of Emily.  But it hurt.  I kept my running clothes on all day and when Dartell came over to watch her, I went out.  It was 5:18pm.  I got to Adobe and could feel my knee starting to hurt.  I continued on to the pavilion and stopped to stretch out more and massage it.  I tried to run again, a little slower.  But I got to the Floodway fence and knew it wasn't going to happen.  I turned around and walked home.  The walk of shame.  When I got to the stop sign one of the sister missionaries rolled down the window and said, "Hi Brother McCumber!"  So that was embarrassing.
 

I took an extra day off because of my knee.  I took Herbie on a walk last night and it did all right.  I was worried that it would still hurt, so I just decided to run the route I walk Herbie on every day.  Well, almost every day.  Except those days he's getting punished for running into my knee.

I got to the stop sign and saw this lady running.  It was the same lady I saw last week, that I guess I forgot to blog about.  Usually I cross the road, but since I was taking a shorter route today, it meant staying on this side of the road.  This also meant I was going to be right in her way.  She's super fast.  I moved all the way over to the side of the sidewalk.  But she ran in the street as she passed me.  I said good morning expecting her to be annoyed.  But she sounded pleasant when she said good morning back.

The knee behaved.  I'll try and up the mileage tomorrow.

For the last three days that I've gone running, I've felt something in my shoe.  The first day I thought it was just a little rock.  So when I got home, I shook my shoe out and the only thing that came out was a little piece of paper.  I thought it strange that a piece of paper could get positioned in such a way to bother me like that.  But the next day I felt it again.  So I thought maybe my shoes were falling apart and losing their padding and something in the soul was poking at my foot.  But I forgot to check when I took them off.  The next time, same thing, but this time I did check.  I stuck my hand in my shoe and felt around, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.  Then I turned my shoe over and saw that a bullhead (sometimes known as a goathead) had lodged itself in my shoe so deep that I didn't see it.  I pulled it out and threw it in the trash.

Today's run was poke free.  Also it was very dark and warm.  We've been having record highs here.  It finally seemed like it was going to cool down, but now highs are back in the 90's.  Anyway, I was running along thinking to myself how dark it was and how I could barely see anything.  But then I saw a shadow advancing.  As it drew closer I could see the soft glow of a cell phone light.  I didn't want to scare the person coming towards me so I yelled out, "Good morning!" when I thought they would be in range to hear me.  I received a sweet and mouselike, "Good morning!" back.  I said, "Is that you, Edythe?"  She chuckled, "Yes it is, Burt." 

I crossed Adobe and was thinking about the funny encounter when I was brought back to my senses by the sound of a siren.  It sounded like it was on Greenfield.  Then it stopped.  I was about an eighth of a mile south of Adobe when all of the sudden the RWCD road was lit up with red and blue lights.  I turned and saw the firetruck heading east.  Hopefully not to my house.  Then I started thinking about how there was a time in my life where I would pause to say a little prayer for whomever was on the distress end of call.  But I don't do that anymore really.  So I started thinking if there was any good reason why I don't do that.  Perhaps the person in distress was just pummelled for sneaking into some father's daughter's bedroom.  In that case, maybe they got what they deserved.  So they shouldn't be prayed for?  I don't know.  I'd have to reach a higher spiritual plane to show empathy for a child predator.

It stayed dark the entire time.  I only saw one other guy on the trail walking his two dogs.  They wanted to protect their owner from this mysterious dark stranger.  Then I saw what I originally thought was a large white dog.  It was actually light from a flashlight.  Someone was in the green belt walking around with their flashlight.  They shined it on me a couple of times.  I don't know what they were up to.  Maybe just exercising.
 

I started my run 32 minutes later today than yesterday.  It was dark, but not quite as dark.  The sun would be coming up soon and the rays were already providing enough light that I could see maybe 20 more feet in front of me.  My knee has been feeling better, but I'm still running real slow just in case.  I was heading south on the RWCD road when I saw a cell phone light coming towards me.  It was the same place that I saw Edythe yesterday.  But it couldn't be her.  What are the chances that I'm going to see her in the exact same place I saw her yesterday 32 minutes later?  Apparently 100%.  At least this time I was able to actuall see her instead of just recognizing her voice.

No clouds today, but the horizon looked pretty right before the sun came up.  My wife left on her run shortly after me.  We were flyby's on Strava.  Her pace was faster than mine today.  And she ran further.

I didn't sleep well last night and woke up with a headache.  I started running at 6:05am.  I wondered if I would see Edythe in the same place three days in a row.  While I was wondering that I saw a lady coming through the retention basin/park from the Floodway.  She waved at me.  It took me a sec, but I realized it was Edythe.  So even though I was thinking about her, I didn't realize it was her.  I guess I had my mind set that I would see her in a mile at the same place as before.

It was dark out, but I could see Edythe because of the lights in the park.  But once I'm on the Floodway path, there's hardly any lights.  The sun was about to come up, so it wasn't dark dark, but it was dark enough that I can't see people until they're about 20 feet away.  But hardly anyone's out anymore this early.  I did see a guy cruising down the RWCD road on a bicycle.  He didn't have a headlamp, but he had a tail light.

The run was slower than yesterday.  I'm sure it was the headache.  But it wasn't miserable, so there's that.
 

Lazy morning.  I had some bouts of sleep paralysis during the night.  I don't like it.  I laid around in bed even though I woke up pretty early.  I finally started running at 7:52am, which isn't terrible, but much later than usual.  My wife asked why we weren't running Usery.  I mean, we could be.  But she decided she would rather go to the gym this morning.  I'm an avid gym avoider.  She bought me a membership, but I haven't gone once.  So I ran up the Canal.  I wasn't sure how far I'd go.  Maybe six, if I was feeling ambitious.  I wasn't.  I could turn around at McKellips.  But that wouldn't even be four miles.  I have to do at least four miles.  I know, I'll run up to 1-3/4 and turn west down the hidden orange grove road.  As a zanjero, I was shown a shortcut to get into this part of the Canal without having to get out and unlock the gate.  The hidden orange grove road.  So I took that path.  It's nice and secluded.  There wasn't as much people out as I would have thought, but there was still enough to keep me entertained. 
 

I found out today that we're heading on vacation today and not tomorrow.  Glad I knew that before I went running or I might not have gone.  However, the run wasn't the best.  My knee started hurting again.  I got to almost University and stopped to stretch out a bit.  I started running again and got to the other side of the Floodway.  But after a while I had to stop and walk.  This happened two more times.  I would pause my Strava each time, so what's normally about 2.54 miles ended up being 2.32 miles.

I was driving for a good chunk of the day Monday.  It was very uncomfortable.  My knee didn't like it.  I slept on my sister's couch, but had to scrunch up.  I woke up with my knee throbbing, so I laid down on the floor for the rest of the night.  I didn't run yesterday.  I woke up a little after 5am this morning.  I was sleeping downstairs on a nice bed.  I had to go #1 and I thought it was still in the middle of the night.  I went upstairs and found my wife sitting on the couch awake.  My phone was on the charger upstairs and I saw what time it was and was surprised.  So I decided I would try and run today.  I got dressed and hoped my wife would join me, but she went back to sleep.  So I walked out the door to 25º cold.  I was wearing shorts and a T-shirt and hoped I would warm up once I started moving.  For the most part I did except for my fingers.  I wasn't sure how far I'd go.  Maybe run a mile and turn around.  I ran one of the same routes I did last year; up the dirt road by the church, under the freeway through the culvert, then alongside the northbound I-15 freeway.  I started feeling ok.  My knee wasn't bothering me, so I decided to go 1.5 miles and turn around.  As I was running, I kind of thought about going up to the top of the gradual hill I was on.  So I went a little further than 1.5 and decided to play it safe.  I turned around and my glasses started fogging up.  So I took them off my face, folded them, and gently placed them in my pocket.  I could now see my breath with every exhale.  I wondered if the sweat coming off my face would freeze to my mustache.  It didn't.  I got home and my wife never knew I left.