Motivated to Succeed

1:00 PM - We had a fun time going to Mass MoCa last night with Mary and Brian. It was "quite the show". Put on by Netherlands choreographer Anukevandyck or something of that nature. Was bizarre, but quite the experience. I'm glad I went. I feel "cultured" now. Haha! Started the month off right 21:00 on the elliptical, including 4 mins at 10 resistance. I wanted to cry, but I toughed it out like a "real man" :)

Total Time: 21:00 Total Disance: 2.1 mi

After work yesterday I drove the planned 100 miler route to Emma's house. I was taken aback by just how gorgeous some of the views are. There are a lot of small rolling hills in the first forty miles, but then it is more gradual and flat for the next forty or fifty, before the last mountain of doom which reminds me of when we biked up the Kankamagaus Pass. I am excited to complete my first 100 miler! Now I just have to get my gear and bike fitted out so I can be ready to ride outside!

8:00 AM - Early ride before homework and school all evening. Hopped on the bike wearing a new bike jersey that my friend from school Julian brought in for me. It fits perfectly! Read some school stuff then read about sixty more pages of Sir Ranulph Fiennes'  Race to the Pole. A really great book about Scott's Antarctic Expedition in the early 1900s. I found one line in particular most compelling. Written by the expedition's chief scientist and zoologist Edward A. Wilson, he stated:

"Men don't improve when they live together alone." (p. 70)

How such a short line can embody the essence of human emotion and desire to be part of a larger group. I think Wilson captures the bare essentials of human existence. It's not merely being part of a group - a family, community, congregation, etc. - it is getting to know each and every person of that group and learning how to share experiences to make it better for the whole. I think marriage is a lot like that. It doesn't just magically happen with "I do's". You have to constantly work at it, change, and advocate for your partner. As in any relationship, it's not about you. If you fail to care about the people around you, you will live alone.

Felt really strong and confident on the bike today. Drank 2 x 24 oz waterbottles, 48 oz total for you math people. Maybe I should consider substituting 1 gatorade bottle now for the longer rides like this. Also, I realized how useful those pockets on the bike jersey will be. I will be able to stow granola bars, GUs, what have you right there :) So can eat as I tear up the roads! All I have to say is watch out NY bikers! Benn is on the prowl!

Total Time: 2:07:00 Total Distance: 42 miles

8:00 AM - Hopped on the bike and read another 60 pages in Race to the Pole. Got to thinking: it's amazing to think how fast and how far we've come since Scott and Shackleton's duking it out to be the first to the South Pole. If you think about it, it hasn't even been a hundred years since we "discovered" that pole. And to read about Scott's first and now second expedition to the pole, you realize how much their experiences were a conglomerate of daring, exploring, and sheer guessing.

What I took away from today's reading is that you can either accept what you are given as it is at face value and accomplish what is expected, or you can take what is given  you and use it as a starting point for your own ambitions. History is written by the face value types; however it is usually made with those willing to go the extra mile, into uncharted territory, willing to put life, limb, and one's livelihood on the line. You don't have to do something amazing (or crazy) like racing to the South Pole. But it can start with something as simple as holding the door for someone. Holding someone's groceries for them while they open their car door. It seems in the hustle and bustle of today's world manners have gone down the drain, replaced with tunnel-vision egocentrism.  Reminds me of that commercial I think Coca Cola put on about a smile can go a long way. I think the same is true with simple random acts of kindness. They have exponential benefits.

Keep on truckin' FRBloggers

Total Time: 1:00:34  Total Distance: 20 miles

4:40 PM - I wish I had better news. Yesterday stunk. I spent the whole day in the ER. My mom fell on the ice when she was trying to load up our garbage can to put in the car to drive to the end of the driveway. If you recall my dad fell a couple weeks ago doing the same thing and he ended up suffering nerve damage in one of his fingers. Well my mom comes in and is yelling "Benn I'm hurt!" so I ran upstairs and she is holding her eye and blood pouring from her hands. I was freaked out. Luckily it was a gash above and to the side of her eye. We put ice on it and I drove her to the hospital and we had to wait more than four hours for her to get seen and discharged despite no one else being in the ER. Figures . Good old doctors for you. And you wonder why men hate going to see those in the medical profession! LOL. She got six stitches and is feeling better today.

Then I go to work today to find out two of many managers got the ax. Borders cut 3% of managerial positions nationwide and it just happened 2 of our managers were on the list :(. Really sucks. Work just isnt the same. And there are too many new rules. It used to be fun working at Borders. Now it's just a chore. Actually am hoping I get let go. Then I could get unemployment!

A little pain on the left knee still. I wish it'd go away.

Total Time: 30:10  Total Distance: 10 miles

9:00 AM - Knee feeling a bit better. Went on the bike and read another 100 pages from Race to the Pole. It's getting really good now :) Going to continue to take it easy this month. My stuff from nashbar.com should be here soon, and then I'll outfit the bike for the road and hopefully be able to start getting rides out there. Wind trainer is great, but just not something you should do for hours at a time I think I've learned.  Since you constantly pedal it's not like riding outside and makes you prone to overuse injuries.

Total Time: 1:00:25 Total Distance: 20 miles

3:00 PM - Was a little bit annoyed today when I found out that my order I placed with www.nashbar.com was not only not here 8 days after I ordered it but was both NOT showing up in THEIR records AND also showing up on MY credit card statement. I don't know what to do as the credit card company said it can take as long as a month for it to go away. I don't want to go to another vendor and end up with 2 sets of everything because that wouldn't be good. Didn't help that I went to google and found some very similar horror stories with this website. Grr. A lot on my mind today. Libbi wasn't doing well. She threw up a few times. We're not sure when we might be having to get the vet to come here to put her to sleep yet :(. I'm just happy she's still here with us. Finished the Scott Expedition book today though. That's a plus.

Total Time: 37:35 Total Distance: 12.5 miles

12:45 PM - Sunny, Temperature of 48 degrees. Windy though! Brrr!~ It was nice in the sun but boy cold to ride! After meeting Julian in Saratoga at Borders to go over some school stuff, I zipped home, pumped up the tires and headed out on the roads. Didn't know what to expect seeing as how this is my first outdoor ride of the year. Boy was it chilly! Felt like a Freezer out there! Despite wearing a sweatshirt, I still got a little cold in the fingers and toes. Next time will wear thermal socks. Wore my new sunglasses. I look hot. Haha. Zapped the energy from me though having to battle the wind the whole way. So hard to ride strong when you are riding into a huge wind tunnel! Next ride will be better. Enjoyed the scenery. So cool to be out riding when everything around you is white with snow! Walked down the road with Suz afterwards and Aggie the Menace!

Total Time: 1:44:32  Total Distance: 27.25 miles  Average Speed: 15.6 mph   Maximum Sustained Speed: 37.4 mph

6:00 PM -  10 miles in 30:35; has been long week of class and work. Can't wait for the end of the semester to get out on the roads! Will be a good time indeed! My stuff came today from Nashbar so that's good.... waiting for the credit card statement though.. *CRINGE! Two big setbacks this wee: $300 car insurance payment needs to be paid by April 3rd and then I had to buy new tires for the car which was $300 . Doh! haha At least these ones are the 70,000 mile ones. That will get my car to about 215k or so :) "Pre" the Prizm is a TANK!

Total Time: 30:35  Total Distance: 10 miles

12:20 PM - Hopped on the bike after some homework and studied for my midterm tomorrow while I was on the bike. I hate tests! Felt good to get a ride in. Have felt really "blah" because I feel so fat and lazy. Wanted to go outside but while i was on the bike, I saw snowflakes out there! A bit too cold.

Total Time: 1:00:34  Total Distance: 20 miles

11:15 AM - Drove down to Albany early for Advisement Day. My advisor is going to be my professor this summer for my summer course and also in the fall when I do Student Teaching. Crazy to think I'm this close to my Master's Degree! Really meaningful meeting today. We actually talked for close to forty minutes, not about my coursework, but my teaching pedagogy and philosophy which is driven a lot by social and educational justice. He played songs from Tupac Shakur which seemed to throw some of his colleagues in the building for a loop at 9:00 in the morning. One that he gave me a printout of the lyrics to and which really hits home since I have been doing the Sponsor a Scholar program in Albany is "The Rose that Grew from Concrete". Talk about some powerful lyrics. It's not about how beat up and torn the rose is.. it's the fact it came from that. When I look at the kids I work with I realize their potential and they are truly amazing kids.. and to think of the backgrounds that many of them come from, the adversity they've overcome, and to think how far they might go in life. Now that's what I'm talking about!

Total Time: 1:00:30 Total Distance: 20 miles

You try to plant somethin in the conrete, y'knowhatImean?
If it GROW, and the and the rose petal got all kind of
scratches and marks, you not gon' say, "Damn, look at
all the scratches and marks on the rose that grew from concrete"
You gon' be like, "Damn! A rose grew from the concrete?!"
Same thing with me, y'knahmean? I grew out of all of this
Instead of sayin, "Damn, he did this, he did this,"
just be like, "DAMN! He grew out of that? He came out of that?"
That's what they should see, y'knowhatImean?
All the trouble to survive and make good out of the dirty, nasty
y'knowhahatImean unbelievable lifestyle they gave me
I'm just tryin to make somethin..


When no one even cared
The rose it grew from concrete
Keepin all these dreams
Provin nature's laws wrong
It learned how to walk without havin feet
It came from concrete


Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?
Provin nature's laws wrong it learned how to walk without havin feet
Funny it seems but, by keepin its dreams
it, learned to breathe FRESH air
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else even cared
No one else even cared..
The rose that grew from concrete


Did you hear..
Did you hear about the rose that grew from a crack in the concrete?
Provin nature's laws wrong
It learned to walk without having feet
Funny it seems but by keeping its dreams
it learned to breathe FRESH air
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else, even cared


Keepin all these dreams
Provin nature's laws wrong
It learned how to walk without havin feet (to breathe the fresh air)
It came from concrete (to breathe the fresh air)
(to breathe the fresh air, to breathe the fresh air)


You see you wouldn't ask why the rose that grew from the concrete
had damaged petals. On the contrary, we would all celebrate its
tenacity. We would all love it's will to reach the sun.
Well, we are the rose - this is the concrete - and these are
my damaged petals. Don't ask me why, thank God nigga, ask me how!
Hahahaha..

9:10 AM - Didn't sleep much. Spent 10 hours yesterday working on a project. Got it done though (or as much as I can do by myself) so that was good. Exhausted. Only got six hours of sleep and woke up to my dad singing country music to the dog at 6am. I don't know which sung better my dad or Aggie! Haha.  Hopped on the biked and read more from my review book for my huge Content Specialty Test coming up in a week and a bit. Not too much pressure, just 4 hours and 90 m/c and an essay question about the history of the world since the beginning of time until about a year ago? Hmm no pressure! Eeek! I'm about 1/5th of the way through the reviewing portion. I will aim to take one of the review tests sometime this week too to see where I stand as far as m/c questions. I hate those kind. I had a midterm earlier this week with those type of questions on it and I completely bombed it. I am just a much better writer and I like to justify my answers rather than just circle a correct one or one I kind of think is correct.

Total Time: 1:00:28  Total Distance: 20 miles

God doesn't require us to succeed; he only requires that you try. - Mother Theresa

9:00 AM - Got up early before observation hours and went on the bike. Ended up doing an hour and read my review book for my huge test next week for 45 minutes, and then last 15 minutes read from Team of Rivals. The start of Chapter 5 was particularly interesting. From page 140,

"The America of 1850 was a largely rural nation of about 23 million people in which politics and public issues - at every level of government - were of consuming interest. Citizen participation in public life far exceeded that of later years. Nearly three fourths of those eligibile to vote participated in the two presidential elections of the decade."

Reading Goodwin's work, it makes me wonder about where our country evolved from and where it is headed. The history books are filled with stories like she recounts here of radicalism, energy, and raw desire. It just seems like a lot of what was once important has been cast aside. Instead of taking a direct stance in deciding how and who should run this country, it is almost as if people don't care aside from complaining when politicians that turn out to be 'bad eggs' are elected. e.g. When Bush was not only elected, but reelected, many Democrats and Liberals/Independents were quick to bash Republicans for electing such a moron to office. But while I voted for Kerry in 2004 and for Obama in 2008, I feel like there are a lot of people that are all talk and no bite. What happened to the fervent energy that surrounded Vietnam and the oil crisis of the 70s? It's as if the potency of Americans' political voice has been lost in an age of technology and fashion. It is almost sickening to see at work how many of today's young generation feels as if the hottest trends for clothes and hairstyles and/or the next edition of the iPod or MacBook is of higher concern than the poltical, economic, and social issues that are bringing the country to the brink of failure. I am a Liberal and I guess I cannot criticize too harshly, but I find that the more I read, and the more I learn, the more I begin to take a conservative approach to some ideas. I feel there needs to be blanket reforms in health care, education, and social justice, and yet I feel alone. As my peers spend the nights boozing it away and dancing to riskay music at night clubs and texting their "BFFs", I feel like I more closely identify with the 30 and 40 something crowds. Am I just growing up too fast? Are my fears coming true?  I only hope that in the near future steps are taken so that we can remember the founding ideals of this nation and we can better embrace the multiculutural gifts that being American entails. As much as I hate to say it the American public seems to be "dumbing down" and has lost the gutsy doggedness that characterized our forefathers.

Total Time: 1:00:34  Total Distance: 20 miles

3:00 PM - Cloudy, wind of 12-15 mph. Brisk and cold. Temperature around 40 degrees. Wanted to get another ride in for my higher mileage day since I work late until 5 or 5:30 tomorrow and Saturday and won't have a chance for a long ride. Headed out on the back roads. Was surprised to see I was biking pedal to the metal and averaging only about 15 mph! Oh well. It was still fun. Good to get out on the roads. Just like in running, you have to be prepared for anything, so it was probably good to get another ride in less than favorable conditions because it will help me in the long run when I get ready to do the century ride. My toes were frozen by the end of the ride!!

Total Time: 1:23:00 Total Distance: 21.25 miles  Average Speed: 15.4 mph

5:30 PM - Worked all day. Zipped home as soon as I could and went out in the nice weather for a ride. Somewhat windy again, but sunny and temps in the low to mid 50s. Wore two shirts, including the one Emma's mom bought me. Glad I did because the last 30 mins the sun was gone and it was downright chilly!!!! Side note, you would have never known we are in a recession based on the sales at work. Though with free drink coupons and 40% off an item, that will make people spend. So it's not like we are even making a profit, but it's the "total sales" that count. Weird. I will never understand the business world. Went out into Charlton and Milton and back via Jockey Street. What a good ride. Legs were a little tired though from yesterday!

Total Time: 1:38:02 Total Distance: 26.25 miles  Average Speed: 16.1 mph

10:00 AM - Long night doing homework until about 1am and then up at 6am to continue. ugh! Am going to be tired from this one! Hopped on the bike and did a nice ride while I studied for my huge test on Saturday. Am just a bit frazzled with everything going on! I am hoping that Sunday I can get down to Massachusetts and go for a bike ride with Emmy though!

Total Time: 1:00:35 Total Distance: 20 miles