Objective: Moderate w/ extra effort on hills, and fast finish (last .75 @ VO2max). Tapering.
Weather: 47 F, cloudy, calm, heavy mist (not quite rain) 1st mile only 15 core & weights, last day for any leg work
My sincere thanks to everyone who left comments yesterday. I think I have recovered somewhat from the trauma of yesterday's news. My FIL is still hanging on but remains unconscious. We talked with my MIL last night, who declares -- with some temper -- that everything threatening my FIL right now has come by his own actions: he did not follow the diet he was supposed to follow, he pulled out his tubes, he refused to walk the halls after his surgery, etc. At the same time, we know that certain medical procedures were neglected by his nurses, such as putting on the leg massaging socks that might have prevented the first blood clot from forming. I can tell MIL is struggling terribly with her emotions over this situation. My DH seems pretty stable, but he is coming down with a cold; the body will sometimes express what the mind cannot.
During the past 24 hours, I have come to the conclusion that I must strive to "let go" of the outcome this week. FIL may leave us today, tomorrow, next week, or not for years to come. I have to continue to carry out my marathon taper and travel plans as if nothing is happening, and yet be ready for anything to happen. I have to accept my own lack of control, not something I am very good at. But it's going to drive me crazy if I keep thinking "I'm not racing," then "I am racing," back and forth, back and forth. I've got to find a way to just float through this, que sera, sera.
|