Objective: marathon pace practice -- 4 mi easy, 10 mi MP, remainder easy. 8:15 AM 50F and climbing, mostly sunny, very windy (14-21 mph w/ gusts 35). I knew there would be sunshine and I knew there would be warmth. I did not expect that wind. Our "hurricane season" is supposed to go from October to March, but I guess that's just a guideline... Maybe it was the wind, but this run was so difficult. And thus the door to Doubt creaks open. Why oh why haven't I run more MP miles this winter? How can I possibly maintain that pace for 26.2 miles if just 10 wiped me out? ... All the usual shadowy ruminations I have experienced many times before. In a way, it's good to doubt. I don't think I run well when I feel I have to reach a certain goal. That was the main thing I learned at Portland last October, when I was so nervous I destroyed my own race. Doubt is good when it enables me to let go of the immediate outcome without giving up on the long term certainty. I've got to say to my BQ, "Someday we'll meet. It's just a matter of time. Perhaps in May, perhaps in the fall..."
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