does the smile on my face say it all? 
More to come later - yay for the 'big girls' 2nd in Athena, but 9th in my AG isn't too shabby either! :) *********************************************************************** Friday afternoon I said good-bye to my family and headed up to Ogden, dealt with some traffic, but I was enjoying the 40 new songs I'd downloaded :) Met Toby at the expo, grabbed my number, double checked that they had me listed Athena, looked around (blah expo this year) and headed off to check out the course with Toby. It was nice to see where we'd be going since they'd changed it just a bit from previous years. We went to dinner at Slackwater Pizza and Pub - and I can just say YUM! Then we drove to THE hill on the course and decided it wasn't all that, so Toby drove me back to my car and we went our separate ways to sleep. I really had a wonderful evening visiting with Toby and chatting out all the race nerves. She has been SO great to put up with me during this training cycle!! Thanks for everything Toby! I stayed with my Uncle in Farmington and I hadn't been to his new home there, but he was excited to have me stay. I felt SO bad when I got there - he made me sleep in HIS bed and he slept on the couch! I didn't realize the other bedroom was his storage room. He said he usually falls asleep on the couch anyway, so I told him I'd be outta there by 4:15 and he could sleep the rest of the night in his bed :) What an awesome family I have!! I woke up to a text from bye-wing sending her love and support, it made me smile - even at 3:45 in the morning! Then I got a text from hubby who was just going to bed after working from home all night, poor guy! He had a whole Saturday of kids to do starting in just 5 hours. I slept the first 5 hours of the night, he got the 2nd 5 hrs :) Then, my secondary alarm went off...glad to know everything was in place. Didn't have to do my hair, because I'd had my neighbor do my fancy crown braid again. I LOVE it, out of my face, off my neck and people rarely forget the amazon with the basket braid on her head as I fly by :) Ate a yogurt on the way to the race, met Smooth, Toby, Chad, Kelli, Karen, Maynard and lots of others at the Marriott. When we got to the buses a beautiful empty bus pulled up right in front of us! Score, it must be our lucky day! We all climbed on and Toby and I got the short seat...not the short bus, but the short seat :) Great chatter all the way up! The worst part of the marathon for me was over...the bus ride! It is always fun to hang with the other crazies at the start and to chat out all the nerves and to send good wishes while we are all still standing and smiling! Made a couple trips to the pops and on the 2nd one Toby got out her sharpie. She had told me she was bringing it, so I was prepared with my motivation. So, onto my R arm went this: "The task in front of you is NEVER greater than the strength within you." in sharpie! I'd heard of people doing this, but thought it silly...let's just say I've changed my mind about that. Just typing the quote out still brings tears to my eyes knowing how much it helped me along. I didn't realize how close it was to start time, because normally the line is out on the road by the field so you can see it, but this time it was down the road! I almost missed it! Stuffed my bag, said good bye to my ladies, tried to hand my bag to the big brothers truck until they said "oh, you don't want that back?" wait? what?!? Toby had also convinced me to run without my cell phone, so I'd put that and my car key in my bag. I NEVER put anything in my bag I wouldn't mind losing and now you're not going to give it back? I quickly realized that this was the donation truck and I needed to go one more down. Whew...crisis avoided! Then I ran to the start. Shoot, 30 seconds...crap, 10 second count down and I'm still at 5:00 pacers!! I was running in the grass on the side of the road (which is ironic, because I'd worn bags on my shoes to keep them dry while waiting and now was running in 8 in deep, wet grass...nice) trying to get up to the 3:25 pacers, but just couldn't get there in time. I went over the mat with the 4:00 guys and took off. Mile 1: 7:08...yeah, too fast, but you see, I have this mental thing with pacers. I hate them. I know, I know, I pace...BUT I hate pacers they play mind games with me. If I can't keep up, I give up. I have a really hard time running my own race and going faster/slower when needed around them and I get easily discouraged. So, I wanted to catch up to the 3:25 guys (fastest pace group), and be in front of them and hopefully stay there if all went well. I figured A+ game on I could finish with 7:45-7:50 AP, so this seemed reasonable to try. Then, they wouldn't psych me out! On my way there I passed the 3:35 guy (no 3:30) and I said "no offense, but I don't want to see you again for another 3 1/2 hours." The people around him started chuckling about "what? we're not good enough for you?" made me laugh...but guess what? It kept them away! When I got to the 3:25 group I saw Kim and told him he'd chosen a good group. I stayed there, then I started singing "super bass" under my breath and the guy next to me glanced over. "yes, I'm singing for y'all" I said. Then I saw him glance at my bib on my skirt and I can't remember what he said, but then said "I'm Preston" HA! Well, I'm glad he cheated on my name, because I would've felt bad if I'd have been running with him and not said anything to him. To my credit, he was wearing a different shirt than at Thanksgiving point :) Mile 2: 7:35...still a little fast, but I was having a great time chatting with Preston, watching Kim fade into the crowd in front of us (he couldn't let a girl beat him...so he took off :) ) and we pulled just slightly in front of the 3:25 guys which is right where I felt good! I think Kelli passed us this mile too...flying by and I was just happy she had her ipod :) Mile 3-8: 7:46, 7:40, 7:45, 7:47, 7:46, 7:48 - honestly, couldn't give you play by play here. I was just enjoying the company, the run and the beauty. I had my arm warmers covering my garmin, so I couldn't see and wouldn't psych myself out about pace I was running. My goal was to enjoy it and run by feel. I knew this. I know what it takes to get to the end and how to run comfortably hard. One point when Preston glanced at a split I asked "that wasn't faster than 7:40 was it?" "no" "faster than 8:00 though, right?" "yup" - I didn't want to know the number. I was in a good zone and just wanted to stay there. He then said we were TMing the mile splits. THAT was awesome news! Mile 9: 8:02 - first Gu stop, so the run was faster, but I actually stopped to choke it down and make sure I got some water IN my mouth to wash it all in. I decided to use whatever they gave out for the first one... YUCK! I didn't even look until it was in my mouth...espresso or something flavor. Whatever, wash it down and go on. Caught back up to Preston and enjoyed the rollers, lake and view!
Mile 10: 7:36 - I think this is the mile where I lost Preston, I don't know how it happened, but just all of a sudden he was gone. I didn't know how or where he was, but figured he was right behind me, but I never saw him again. crud. Then I had another bad thing happen this mile. The dumb 3:25 pacer caught me. what the heck?!? My splits were well below 7:50's and I figured they were just ahead like always. So, I finally asked after trying to keep up with him for a while and feeling like it was a little too hard. He said they were 3 seconds ahead of time. What?!? I was SO confused. Finally I said something about how confusing that was, because I knew my splits were lower than a 7:50 pace. Gun time? nope, chip time pacing. okay, fine...what time do you have?!? 1:15:30...ahh, I'm at 1:14:30...makes sense now. I was a full minute ahead of them. It still jarred me a little that I couldn't keep up with him like I'd wanted to, but when I knew I still had a minute I just plugged on and tried to run my own race and not let them in my head. Miles 11, 12, 13 (13.1) - 7:50, 7:46, 7:48, (1:41:30) - these miles were lost ones too. I kept telling myself...look, you're not losing the pacer, he isn't getting that far ahead. You CAN still see him. Relax, run your race. I passed Shelly here who was doing a relay and she said "you are flying. can you keep it?!?" I simply said "I feel good, I feel really good!" and I did. I really felt like this was MY race! Goal for the half was no faster than 1:42...either I'd blow up from going out too fast or have really underestimated my abilities :) I figured 30 seconds wasn't too far off, I was feeling great! Dropped my arm warmers knowing the hills were coming up and now, I could see my Garmin... Miles 14, 15, 16, 17, 18 - 7:57, 8:13, 8:05, 7:41, 7:43 The hill, which is a hill, but compared to Veyo or the hills I run at home? nah. I know what it takes to get up that bugger and it isn't bad. Short and sweet. Peak and enjoy the rollers and flats till the dam. I still hit it in 8:13...not too shabby. The next 8:05 was my next gu stop at mile 15ish, I had my jet blackberry - my secret weapon gu :) I don't know why, but my body responds really well to the 2X caffeine in that one. I'm really proud of the next two miles on the flat/rollers being what they were. I had a mental battle here, but reminded myself of when I'd run the half prego (35 weeks along) 2 years ago: I was exhausted and wondering why in the crap would I do this to myself? I shouldn't be running a half, I'm pregnant, carrying a viable life at this point! I should just stop and take the bus down. But, I told myself that I just had to get to the dam, if I got there then, I could re-evaluate and see how I felt and if I wanted to quit. I started loving the downhill and finished SO strong! My best miles were the last few! Remembering all of that reminded me that all I had to do was get to the dam and then the easy part would come. I'd fought so hard to this point, and I knew that the task in front of me was NOT greater than the inner strength. This was mine! I still can't figure out how the 3:25 guy kept getting further away, there was even one point I wanted to time how long there was between us, but I forgot :) I passed Kim again before the last aid station. I knew his foot was bothering him, but I still harassed him a bit :) I crossed the dam and FLEW (dropped to a 6:30ish pace for a bit) down that first hill of the canyon...aaahhh!!! I had made it. Mile 19: 8:01 - seems slow, but I walked and popped my last GU here. Another jet blackberry, it was surreal to take my last gu - have empty pockets and be headed to the finish. It was almost over, and I was still feeling good and strong. A slight fatigue, but nothing bad! As I passed the mile 19 mile marker (theirs, not when my garmin went off - I know my watch is always .2 or more over and when splits started getting off I timed by THEIR mile markers, not trusting my watch. I knew better!) I noticed my time was 2:28:3X - no way! no way! I had 7.2 miles in front of me and if I simply ran for one more hour I'd be done WAY ahead of my 3:30 goal, not to mention that 7.2 mph is and 8:20 pace (thank you TM running), I was still hitting paces better than that. I had this thing IN THE BAG! No one could take this now. I was feeling good and on my way! Today was my day!! Mile 20: 8:06 - doesn't seem too bad, huh? oh trust me...this was the beginning of the end. cue tears and frustration! My knee just froze on me about half way through this mile. I couldn't figure out what what going on. It felt like my patellar ligament, just below my knee, and the darn thing wouldn't allow me to bend it. I tried to fight through it "it is all in your head, quit this Rachel! Just forget it and run" then my knee would buckle when I'd land on it and my arms would flail and it was all I could do to stop my momentum and not fall down. I shouted "NOT NOW!" the frustration was immense. I'd just had my high and knew I'd conquered and now this?!? what the hell?!? I went to the side and stretched (simple quad stretch and banging it with the side of my hand did the trick) as I watched people I'd worked hard to pass fly effortlessly by. Mile 21: 7:55 - I'm really surprised at this split. You should see the graph on my garmin :) it is up/down/up/down/up/down - nothing consistent. More flailing as I tried to do a strong hip drive through, but then I figured the only way I could run was with a straight leg. If that was how it had to be, then it had to be. So, I ran with my left leg in a good stride and my R leg straight...no bending. I couldn't bend it. There would be times I could feel the pain subside so I would start bending it a bit and try to relieve my left quad, but it would quickly come back, so I would go back to peg leg. Mile 22: 8:53 - much more stopping and stretching here. walking through aid stations and this is where Teena passed me. I really had thought she was in front of me. No way do I run faster than that girl! So, it really surprised me when she passed me and said "is that you Rachel?" "yeah, my knee won't bend." She gave me some encouraging words and took off looking amazing! My goal was now to keep her in sight. I knew I was slowing down, but you see...I had this thing on my arm that kept telling me I could do it. I would remember that even though this task had now changed, I could still do this. It was great, but you know what?!? this fight and strength inside of me is greater!! Screw you stupid knee...I don't need you! Then, I thought about Amy . Ever since I'd read about her knee I had thought about dedicating this race to her. I wasn't going to say anything until I'd completed the goal, because what if I failed her? What if something happened and I didn't get it?!? What kind of idiot would I be then? I'd look SO foolish. Well, I'd finally decided to tell HER what I had in mind. Friday morning I'd texted her this:
I run because I can. When I get tired, I remember those who can't
run, what they'd give to have this simple gift I take for granted, and I run harder for them. I know they
would do the same for me. I then told her that this race was for her. Her motivation and determination to get to Boston and run despite the pain in her knee was what I needed. Little did I know how much that would really come into play during my race! Amy had run 26.2 miles on a bum knee that she shouldn't even have EVER run on, let alone run Boston on. But, she had defied the odds and not only qualified for Boston, but run it! If she could run 26.2 miles in horrible pain for that honor...I could do this. I CAN. I can run, and this was for her even before my knee decided to be dumb. Buck up Rachel...run. You got this! Mile 23: 8:13- how in the crap I was still pulling off these fast miles I don't know. If you only knew or could see how I was running you'd probably pee yourself laughing. No joke. It was at the end of this mile, well their mile 10 mark for the half marathon, that I saw 3:03 on my watch. Really?!? All I had to do was run a 30 min 5K. I was limping along at a good clip and few people were passing me, I was keeping pace with most people around me and Teena was still only maybe 50 yds or so ahead. I could see that bright green! :) Here we go... dig deep. Mile 24, 25: 8:22, 9:05 - I walked twice in mile 25. The pain in my left inner quad was so much that I had to relax it and give it a break, it was doing the work my knee couldn't, but I was getting there. Every step closer to the finish. Mile 26: 8:38 - I passed where Toby and I had eaten dinner the night before and I knew I was close, SO close. Just keep on going. I usually am so exhausted and that stretch down Grant street is horrible, but this time it was different. I saw the finish. I knew it was there and I knew what I had done and how hard I had fought. I KNEW that I'd found that strength deep down to conquer the task ahead of me and for once, it hadn't beaten me. Nothing could stop me now. I kept my eyes on that finish and plugged away. Last .20 (.36 on the garmin, pretty short for Ogden :) ) 2:55/8:06 AP - When I passed that mile 26 marker I looked at the garmin - 3:28:16. Could I do it? Could I get to that finish in less than 2 minutes? yes, lets do this...give it all you've got and leave nothing out here! As I ran through the crowds I started passing people and I would put my arms out in a call for a little more support and noise. No talking at this point...I couldn't. But, I needed some cheering to get me there, and they responded well! When I got to that final chute I put my hands up in victory! I knew I'd done it! I had my BQ and honestly that was all I was thinking about. I'd done my 3:30, my goal I'd trained for - even with the last 6+ miles of pain and limping! I'd given myself enough of a cushion that nothing COULD take it away from me. Yes, I could've ideally finished 3:26ish, but who freakin' cares?!? At this point, I didn't. I finished with my arms and head held high. That task in front of me was nothing compared to what I brought out of me! I'd found that inner strength and punched a hole in the wall with it! :) Booyah! I looked at my watch and saw 3:30:03...crap. three seconds? shoot...I really hope I waited more than 3 seconds to hit stop on my watch. that would really suck to finish JUST over 3:30...crap. This now makes me laugh! I walked to get some water and at the first place I grabbed a handful of ice and threw it down my bra. yeah, I was hot. I'd thrown a lot of water over my head those last miles, but that felt good! I grabbed a bottle of water and dumped it on me and in/on my face. Spit some out and just stood there. Coke?...ahh, I'll take one of those. Well, I guess I must've attracted some attention just standing around throwing water on myself and not walking, but honestly I thought that was the end of where you had to walk and that you had to go onto the grass right there like in past years. So I'd stopped to be able to cool down and get a couple extra water bottles before I had to go onto the grass and walk back if I wanted more water. Well, an official came up to me and asked if I was okay "yup! I'm good" still elated. "Do you need anything? ice?" "I'd love some ice for my knee." "okay, there is some back here, let's walk on over." "you okay?" "yup! never better." "okay, I'll just lean on YOU then." hmmm? I'm fine...aren't I? got the ice and he said "you sure you're okay?" "yeah, I'm good" "well, why don't we walk on over here and they'll get you taken care of and get that ice wrapped on your knee." "okay?" then he lead me into the med tent. If I would've had any strength left I would've run away...I don't like the med tent! I didn't want to be there!! But, I guess I looked like death or was wobbly as I walked or something, because that guy wasn't taking my "I'm great" answers for all the Reese's in the world! So, I got my first trip to the med tent...awesome. It was dumb and they couldn't find anything wrong with me. HR, BP and everything were normal...for crazy people that had just finished running 26.2 (or .36) miles. They poked around my knee, but couldn't find anything horrible there either. See?!? I said I was okay. I sipped my coke and enjoyed my time on the lounger, then headed out to see my peeps and talk to them! Ran across a few of them and then decided I wanted some chocolate milk. So, I headed back into the corral, because I now realized that the ending chute lasted much longer than last time and I'd missed it ALL. They didn't want to let me in "no re-entry" well, I told them they'd drug me into the med tent and hadn't let me get any chocolate milk and I wanted mine! The security guard looked at me with a look of disbelief. THEN I waved my yellow slip that the med tent had given me "MED TENT!" He finally relented and let me back in - heck yeah baby, don't mess with me! As I went to get my chocolate milk I saw Toby and was elated to hear about her sub 4 that I'd been telling her she'd get! Then we saw Karen and I heard about Smooth. crud. I hate bad news :( After getting our bags and me having a full out cramp in the foot of my arch AND my belly (I call it my hernia cramp and get it from time to time - a long vertical line just to the R of my belly button) that sent me to the ground hollering in Utah cuss words (I'm sure everyone thought I was an inspiration to run a marathon at that point) we went over to the results/awards table to see official times! Got to be there for the awards for overall and masters and watch some awesome peeps claim some big checks - size and value! :) Then, the wait began for the division awards. I'd switched just a few weeks ago to Athena. I'll never weigh less than 140 pounds, I think my bones and organs weigh that much! But, I'd noticed the top finishers were around 3:30...well, shoot. That is my goal, could I take home an award? Is it worth claiming 'big girls'? I'd decided it was and so I waited...and waited...and waited. They do a strange thing in Ogden with Athena. They register you in your AG and Athena. If you take a prize in both, you get the prize for both (as the 1st place Athena did- man that girl is amazing, Kelli knows her and so as we waited I got to chat with her...for an hour or so. LOVE her! She is just like me, tall and proud - not 'big' but just big :) ). So, I didn't know if I'd won an Athena prize or not. Britta (the 1st place) had finished in 3:11, so when I heard that I figured there was no hope. When they finally handed out prizes at 1PM they still didn't have Athena results and someone had to go get them. What the heck?!? Anyway, after another 15 minutes of waiting - GREAT news. I'd taken 2nd! I got a trophy :) I'd already gotten everything I'd wanted for the day and that was just the topping to it all! Happy to be a big girl :) The top 10 in my AG sure didn't hurt my feelings either, but the trophy...that was awesome - and worth the wait! I know this is a little novel and if you don't read it - no worries. I think it is all for me anyway. If you do read it, congrats on getting through it all and thanks for coming along on my epic journey with me. This is certainly a day I hope I never forget. Unless it is because I eat too much; you know they say that people with higher caloric intakes are at a higher risk for alzheimers, right? Then, it would be worth it! I am just amazed and grateful for ALL the support I've received from all of you, my peeps! :) My phone got so many text messages it wouldn't receive any more - okay, some of that may be due to the fact I have too many pictures taking up too much memory so I can't store too many texts, but still. I am SO elated this weekend. You work so hard for something and dream about it for so long. I still can't believe I can put that BQ after my name!! The best part is I couldn't have done it without all of you! Keeping me motivated and going, I love this blog. Sometimes I wish I could marry it :) Okay, maybe as a second marriage, I love my husband too much to divorce him. My family has been through so much dealing with me to achieve this! The first thing my husband said is "now can you relax a little?" HA HA HA - no. SGM is coming up and I'm going to fix this knee problem and get my 3:20 I know I should be able to hit. Find your limits...then exceed them. I know I can. If SGM is faster and I don't have the knee problems taking 4 min (which should've been closer to my finish time) shouldn't be a problem or out of my reach? right? oh yeah. Onward and Upward baby...watch me, just watch me :)
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