It was a near perfect day to run a fast marathon. Perfect starting temp, perfect tail wind, and a perfect downhill course. That is, if you're properly prepared to take advantage. Obviously, I was not. I just didn't have the endurance or leg strength to take advantage of the downhill in the last 6 miles. I thought long and hard about what I would do when I started to suffer. Would I fold and give up? I went over in my mind and tried to imagine that moment because it always comes. I still haven't learned how to suffer well. I've run enough of these things to realize that the pain won't last for long but it's so hard to push past it. I really admire those who can. Miles 1-7 felt really easy, as they should. Hung with the 3:15 pace group until just before Veyo Hill as I ducked behind the POP for a quick leak. Big mistake. It's so hard to run alone. I closed to within shouting distance of them, about 150 yds back, through Veyo and the rollers during miles 8-12 but never actually caught up to them again. Despite this, I came through the half at 1:38:07 which was exactly according to plan. What I didn't plan on was the pace group pulling away on the downhill starting at 13. I just couldn't get my legs to turn over. They were just too tight from working so hard on the uphill, too hard it turns out. Psychologically, this was devastating. I was on my own and could actually see my goal, in the form of red and white balloons, desert me in the desert. I kept running, or something like it. Aided by the steep downhill, I was only slightly off pace through the 30k mark (7:29 overall) but I knew that the ledges were lurking and I was hurting way too much and way too early to finish with the negative split I needed. At 19, I told myself to just keep running no matter what. Even if my pace slowed to a crawl, if I stopped to walk it would just get easier to give in. But give in I did. The last 10k (1:11!) was a mix of jogging and walking. Even on the steepest of the downhill I never broke 8:30 pace again. Pathetic. On the upside, I didn't have my typical GI issues. Experimented with a new product called PREV. Took a dose a half hour before the race and another at the half. I had sporadic attacks of stomach pain but they didn't last long and I never felt compelled to visit the POP. So I've eliminated that excuse/obstacle which bodes well when I'm actually well-trained and in better shape. I'm not as disappointed as I thought I'd be. Certainly not as dejected as I was in June when I thought 3:15 was almost inevitable. Hopefully, I can regroup after taking the week to recover and heal. Maybe I'll find the desire to train harder, eat better, and get fitter. Maybe I won't. We'll see. | 