Patience; the new endurance sport.

I met an Australian ex-ballerina dancer doing Tai-Chi at the mouth of the Narrows river canyon in Zion's National park.  She was wearing Vibram 5 Fingers.  When she finished her excersize we had a conversation about the Vibram and how they changed her feet back into the right shape, and helped her offset years of damage from her dancing.  I'm never convinced about barefoot runing.  Maybe I'd try twice a week, or on grass.  I'd sooner run in crocks like Sasha.   I just don't trust my body to 'biomechanically' correct my running as the barefoot running theory goes.  My body has let me down a lot and I don't trust it at all anymore.  It was interesting though to talk with this girl about yoga, energy, and the reasons we get our hair cut.

I ran 100 feet sprints every other 100 feet.  Hoping to make up for the lack of distance.  I wacked all of my hair off, I mean ALL OF MY HAIR.  6 years ago I started growing it out and now it's clear I've moved on from that phase.  Last fall, I cut about 6 inches off, but finished the job today.  So what's left on my head is all fresh, uncolor treated, hair.  Shorty short hair.

So tired today.  But the late summer, early autumn morning crispness brings a renwed sence of wonder.  The change of the seasons always affects me, and none so much as autumn.  It's my favorite season.  But I am being punished for every time I ever made fun of people with hypoglycemia.  I always said that hypoglycemia was for anorexics who were just making excuses for why they were  weak and nervous when what they really needed was to just eat something.  I have been living with this for at least 18 months, and it's gotten progressively worse.  I get to see the endocrinologist next week to see why my liver's not working, or if my pancreas is overloading my body with insulin.  In retrospect, I muscled through so much exhaustion I can't believe I could do it.  It just proves mind over matter. But now I know there is something legitimately wrong with my storage and use of complex carbs/sugars I can trace back almost every episode to this condition.  I also always thought I was so tired and foggy during the day because I was doing too much running.  I can't believe how judgemental I am and how I am now paying for it.  I just hope I can learn how to adjust my eating to make running a non life threatening event. 

I have enjoyed playing Ultimate Frisbee the past few afternoons --I mean; I really, really like Ultimate Frisbee.  I played yesterday till all my clothes stuck to my skin.  I’ve also been relishing my morning jog—It’s so cool now and the weather so gentle.  Even the bit of rain earlier in the week was delicious.  However, this morning the wind at the mouth of the canyon was ferocious!  A lithe young runner glided past me and pointed out how the headwind was causing us grief…..it sure is, I said, practically crawling  & gasping for breath behind him as he disappeared into the canyon.  Man, I really hope to rebuild some stamina over the next few weeks.  Also, my piriformis hurts again.  Dr. Brady’s magic injection must be wearing off.   Adding to my litany of complaints is how much reading I’ve done now on hypoglycemia and marathon/distance running.  My refusal over these years to eat before running, or during runs, is no longer an option. There is only one available endocrinologist in Utah County so I have to wait to see her. But ever since I've been learning about hypoglycemia, it explains almost everything that has been wrong with me (exhaustion & dizziness, heart arrhythmia, headaches, weakness, extreme irritability, mental fogginess, faintness, etc.. ).  I have thought I was dying of cancer or something so many times in the past two years, I finally made them run every test they suspected I should take.  They’ve checked me for early menopause, for liver failure, for vitamin D deficiency, anemia---but after 10 years at the same doctor, no one ever said to me:  Hey! Do you ever feel like you’re going to pass out or get really dizzy and weak? Get headaches much?  Because we’ve noticed your blood sugar for the past 10 years, has been half of what it should to even be considered “Low”.   I mean, I thought was going to die of a heart attack a hundred times because of the arrhythmia.  I just assumed it would kill me, the same as it killed my Dad of a stroke.  But come to find out it’s hypoglycemia that causes it.  I've laid down on the trail and put my feet up in the air so I won't pass out a few times, or bent way over so the blood would stay in my head to keep me conscious.  No one has ever said anything except “your blood sugar is low” in an un-alarming, monotone way that led me to believe it was totally normal to have such low blood sugar.   It's never meant anything to me until it started to affect my running. I’ve lived with it so long it’s become normal, and I have such a litany of other complaints during the day that I just shoved "passing out on the trail" into the closet along with the rest of the crap. But it came to me in June, that the only things I enjoy doing (running and skiing) are jeopardized.  It hasn’t mattered that I’ve gone through the rest of my waking life half-dead and low functioning; it hardly makes a difference.  I’m just one of 6 billion human drones doing the same thing every single day, living through whatever misery or luck is thrown my way.  But do not mess with the hiking, running or the skiing…. please.

I got to run with Cath this morning at 6.  She's been lucky enough to find a running friend close by who runs closer to her pace and is also training for St. George. So she doens't have to do her long runs alone now I'm a party pooper.  I take that as a sign that I really have made the right choice to forgo the ST. George.  Darn the luck, getting in this year and now not using my number.  I need to get better though.  I have to figure out how to maintain a healthy weight, eat right, and keep doing what I love.  I'm especially excited about experimenting during ski season. There were times last winter where I'd be really working hard, and I would just crash (energy wise). My thighs would burn and after that burn, I'd be down for the count.  So I want to know if I bring and actually EAT the cliff bars I stuff into my ski parka pockets really can bring me back to life, or if I snack on them conintually during \the day if it will keep my stamina high.