While I am at the gym, I
remember all the wonderfully sexist and judgmental things I was instructed by
my father (while we were at the gym working out together while I was an
adolescent). He considered himself a genius at picking out women who he
thought would not become overweight (ever) by gauging the amount of fat they
had on their upper arms and inner thigh-- with a cross reference to the girl's
mother. He would always point out to me women who had soft upper arms or inner
thighs and tell me what they would look like later in life. Likewise he
would point out women who had very thin upper arms, space between their thighs,
and instruct me how to gauge the % of body fat by the amount of flesh you might
be able to pinch on their forearm/neck. He
categorically preferred very thin, petite, women who were unusually well
endowed (on top). It was as rare a find in the days before fake boobs, as
it was stereotypically sexist. But since he himself was physically superior to many
other men (tall, muscular, and incredibly good looking), I guess he felt
entitled to judge. Even more than judgmental about a woman’s % of body
fat, he was genius at finding low maintenance women, who did not require make
up, nice clothes or financial status; Which usually meant they grew up in a very
large family (therefore didn't require a lot of attention, were shy, or socially
undeveloped), or came from a strict religious background or poverty. I
find myself wondering why I, have to be the bearer and keeper of this useless
information on how to find a skinny woman who won’t get fat after having babies.
When people say how terrible fashion magazines, TV, and the general
media are for the self- esteem of young women-- I can say with assurance,
nothing is worse for a girl’s self-loathing, than the opinion her father holds of
women. I am sure he thought sharing his
opinions would shape me into a similarly low maintenance, low-fat woman. Sadly, it did not. It created a borderline man-hating, cellulite-ridden,
overly judgmental woman who will challenge you to look at the fat of her upper
arm as a way to determine whether or not you are worthy of her attention. | 