Lulu's Challenge... rise from the ashes

I am back!

The past five weeks have been crazy, amazing, and just plain exhausting.

Where do I start? My husband (Honey) has had a health problem that seems to be continuing but we don't know exactly what it is -- but the docs think it is serious. Bubbles has had two ear infections. I wish they would put her on an allergy medicine like they keep talking about! My situation at work is in limbo. The stalker is supposed to be on leave but he still shows up. He will not longer be employed after February 29th! It is very stressful to have him still present. My allergies have been acting up, and two days before we returned from Christmas, I either got food poisoning or a very nasty bug. I expelled for 2 days and couldn't eat for another two as eating gave me a stomach ache. When we got home the back portion of our house seemed cold. We realized the heater (new in August -- remember the guys who stole our electronics?) didn't work at all. On New Year's Eve the tech came out and looked at it and said "Well, the good news is your house didn't burn down. And it should have from the amount of fire evident in your attic." The wires, heater coils, blower, circuit board in attic all burned and melted. When they came to fix it, it turns out that the controller in our hallway was burned as was the circuit board OUTSIDE on our air conditioner. We were without heat in the back portion of our house for a week where we had 22 degree lows one night. All three of us were snuggled in bed together. It was cute. Thank GOD I still have a house. He knows I have all I can handle right now.

About a week ago a guy rear-ended me (in a relatively new car -- 8000 miles) when I went to buy Honey some meds. Fortunately, I saw him coming and had left a ridiculous amount of room in front of me. So I excelerated and minimized the damage except my back and hips hurt.

I think that's about it. I simply couldn't read any blogs or work on mine with all the craziness going on. Thank you to those who sent me comments and private messages.

Yep, you read it correctly two miles. It started bad and got worse. I struggled through both of them. Enough said.

I'll try again tomorrow.

It has been more than two months since I have posted mileage. I've been running, but not much. For those of you who have been following the saga: My husband is better (miracle #1), my stalker was fired 29 February, and life has been incredibly stressful because of the retribution being enacted on me because my lawyer forced the firing (more on this later when I can write it). I will try to get back into posting. I am planning to set some goals by the end of April when I am back on track.

Five easy miles in the am. Didn't want to go. I had to really force myself this morning - more than once. Glad I did it! Ran negative splits.

Traveling. Got in a nice run today in historic Charleston NC.

Ran with a new friend today at the conference. She and I will try to run together at future meetings.

Started late enough where I had to go get Bubbles midrun. I am not yet strong enough after my injury to run well with the stroller. It turned out be a good run anyway.

See all that sleep? That was not intentional. That is why there is no run clocked for yesterday. I told Honey (my husband) to wake me up in an hour (at 6pm) so I could go run. Needless to say, it didn't happen.

Happy April Fool's Day!

Six miles in the am. Tried to "push" it a bit the last few miles. Ran negative splits as usual.

This one was tough. I set out to run at 5am and Bubbles had other ideas. Where can I put 30 minutes of "dancing" with a baby at 5am into the log? Are those cross-training miles? She finally went back to sleep, and so did I. I was writing today, so I went out and ran in the middle of the day. It was quite hot. I made it and that is all that matters!

Six in the am. Did two 13 minute tempo runs which made the first half of the last mile difficult. But I got it done. Thank God for the Rocky Theme and Gloria Gainer's "I will survive" on the Ipod.

This is horrible! Twice today I have gotten dressed to go running only to look out the window and see... LIGHTNING! Rain, I can run in, but lightning is another story. I even have my hat on to protect me from the rain (or attract lightning). I am very sad; there will be no run today. I may try to run twice tomorrow. I've got to turn the computer off; the lightning is ridiculous.

Bubbles has been sick (hence no run last Sat). Tomorrow we go to the doc. She had her MMR shot about 10 days ago, so I thought the fever was from that. We are in day 4 of the fever -- so it is not MMR related apparently. I've had about 4 hours of sleep, and it is not looking too good for tonight!

I simply could not run today. I am exhausted. It turns out that Bubbles got one of the viruses from the MMR shot she had almost two weeks ago. I took her to the doc today. My thinking is: if she reacted this bad to a little bit of intenuated virus, she really needed the vaccine as she would be very sensitive to the virus.

Life is getting better. She is very pleasant even when she is sick. We read lots of books and in the afternoon she felt good enough to "help" Mommy make coconut macaroons. She loves to cook with us. She stands on the step stool and stirs and pours in the measured ingredients. If my husband were to read this (and he won't) he would be surprised to read that I actually measured something when I was cooking. When he really likes what I have made, he's frustrated because I never measure anything and often can't remember what I have thrown into the dish. With Bubbles, I have to set a good example so I measure for now. Honey was shocked and pleased when he saw the macaroons. He LOVES coconut.

Whew! I got the run in today. I was very tired and really had to focus that last mile. I didn't walk even though I wanted to. It was a relatively slow run, but not easy.

Hey, hey. I made it six miles this morning. I had to talk myself out of taking a leisurely stroll periodically. I made it running non-stop. Right now that is a struggle for me. I am still having lower leg issues but I am really tired right now. So I just keep plugging along until it gets better. It will! (it better!)

Five slow, but not easy miles. Mentally I pushed but physically not. Got it done. I am still tired. I have to be at work very late tonight. I hope to rest on the weekend.

Woohoo! I ran seven miles this morning! It felt great. I even threw in a fast mile around #6. I had my PT work on my lower leg and that work along with the exercises seems to be making it better. I am very happy with my miles this week. Some days I just had to push mentally to get it done. I will try to get more sleep next week.

First three miles with Bubbles, then she wanted to get out and run around so I took her home. The last three on my own. Of course, after pushing the stroller, I felt like I was flying.

Felt strong today! Yea!

So I set out to do a leisurely 7 mile run at 9pm at night. I am running along at 3 miles and a minpin chases me. I yell "go away" a few times, and we go our separate ways. About 100 yards later I run by this lady who has her van stopped on the side of the road, and I hear her taping something (I can't see her; I can just hear her). She comes out from behind the van as I run past and gives me this giant smile. At first I was wondering if she was putting signs up for the dog, and I almost asked her. But then I decided that someone looking for their dog would not be smiling and would have asked me. So I run this loop in the adjoining neighborhood and when I come out, the dog is coming in and chases me again. Both times this is less than 100 yards from that lady and her sign. So this time, I run close to the sign and look. The first word I see is "LOST." Good Lord!! Then next thing I read is Mini Pincher. Duh! Why didn't she ask me!?!?!?!? So I tear down the sign and book it home (notice the threshold mile -- that was unintentional). I call the number which is a cell phone and NOBODY ANSWERS. I leave a detailed message about where I saw the dog. That poor dog sure has a STUPID owner. If your looking for your dog, you ask people out and about in the neighborhood, and YOU ANSWER YOUR PHONE! I feel sorry for the dog. I went out and ran another 1.6 miles to finish the whole 7 miles.

Planned day off. I traveled all day for work.

Slow, easy run. The theme of this morning's run was: Just keep going. It was hard for me. I wanted so badly to go back to bed. And then it was effort to run slow. I got it done.

Five easy miles that were easy. Felt like a different body from yesterday morning. I got my lower legs scraped today. Should make tomorrow's run interesting.

Eight miles. They felt great! Calves were sore and tight the first few miles, but I knew they would get better. The last three miles were completely enjoyable. I am finally getting back in shape!

Planned rest day. Honey's B'day.

Six in the morning. Felt good especially the last three. Yesterday, I got my husband a Wii for his birthday. I wasn't sure I would like it, but it wasn't my gift. It turns out the Sports Pac was so fun! Now my arms are really sore from spending the afternoon boxing, playing tennis, bowling, and playing baseball! It is crazy. I pre-ordered the WiiFit that is a balance board that comes with all kinds of stuff. It is coming in May. I am pretty excited about it. Who knew?

I am really proud of my friend Turena who ran in the Olympic Trials yesterday. She came in 6th. Her goal was the top ten. So since she didn't make the team (which I wished for her), that is exactly the place I wished for her because fourth and fifth are just too close to the top three to be happy. She PR'ed, and I know she is happy. I can't wait to talk with her and hear all about it. Hopefully, I'll see her tomorrow. Here is a video http://www.runnerspace.com/eprofile.php?do=videos&pg=1&event_id=70&video_id=2767. She appears at the front of the second pack closest to the camera at about 40 seconds into the video. She is wearing a blue top and black bottoms. She runs very straight up and down (almost leaning back). Then she crosses the finish line in sixth waving to the crowd at 1:21 or so.

Thunder + Lightning = no running

I struggled through (or should I say Slogged through) six miles this morning. I think I need to get more and higher quality sleep. I will try to get better about getting in bed earlier.

Ran three more this evening with Bubbles. This is to make up for the lightning workout that didn't happen yesterday.

Ran 5 in the am. Tried to run again in the evening and my left foot would have no part of it. I see the pt again tomorrow. Hopefully he can fix it.

Wow, sick, sick, sick. I thought I could go to bed for a few hours and then run later. Oh no, it got worse. My husband had minor tummy trouble yesterday but this is much worse than that. I cannot eat. I didn't eat more than 400 calories today. If I don't eat, I cannot run!

Still sick. I have no energy. I thought if I could eat one good meal today, I could run. No dice.

I cannot shake this tired feeling. I know why, I cannot eat. My stomach is a mess. I am down a couple of pounds since Friday. I tried to eat three good meals today so I could run tonight. Each meal consisted of a maximum of eight bites. No running for me.

Yea! I got to run with Bubbles in the hills. The hills were very hard. I ate ok today, but not great. However, I got the chills today during the run. When I came home, I couldn't eat. Honey is now ill and has the chills. I've been home for more than two hours and have drank some watered out cranberry juice -- that is it! This sucks. I am still running in the morning.

Got is a run this evening. I was determined to do it. I did not sit down this evening because I was so tired. Honey is super sick, and Bubbles screamed for 1.5 hours last night. She rarely does that so I figured she must have had a tummy ache given what has been going on with the adults in the house. I did what I could to soothe her. At about 11:30 pm she asked (in words and sign language) for a banana. She ate 3/4 of it (a lot for her) and was quite happy afterward. She ate some ice, and then I asked her if she wanted to sleep with Mommy and she shook her head yes and laid it on my shoulder. Granted during all this, I intended to be sleeping. But other than my distress at her pain, I really enjoyed holding her and soothing her. I know I won't be able to do it forever and just want to cherish the moments I have to do it with her. I always think when she cries or laughs how badly we wanted her for so long and that those sound are music to my ears.

Got 6 miles in very early this morning. It is how I prefer to put in the miles, in the morning. Honey is still sick but tried to go to work to day. I should have an easier evening tonight and will try to get to bed early. Bubbles ended up in bed with me last night. I was sleeping too soundly to enjoy it though!

Good strong miles this morning. My physical therapist is a magician.

Ran six after seeing the Chiro this morning. I haven't been able to run since Thursday as my hips and sacrum were rotated. Very painful and tends to mess up the muscles in my back and my left leg. So I got the chiro to straighten everything out and retrieved my insoles (hip levelers they call them) from him. He's supposed to be getting them remade as we are sure they are causing my lower leg problem. I haven't worn them for a month. The lower leg problem is much better but the hips are now off. They solved one major problem and created another. So now I have to find out how to fix both...

Ran 1 mile on the treadmill, then swam for a 1/2 hour. Ran 4.5 outside with Bubbles. I decided to get back into swimming some to help my leg and hip issues. I really ran strong a couple years ago when I was swimming a couple of days a week. Interesting that I have no stamina swimming but still have my speed. I clocked a 100 at sub 1:30 at the end of the work out, and it was as fast as I have ever been. Granted I learned to swim about 4 years ago so it is not that fast.

Cutting my milage a bit to make sure hip and leg issues are getting resolved.

This was a struggle this morning. I was hot and my legs are sore.

Been traveling and my back has been hurting. I've done some cross training. Trying to slowly come back.

Still slowly coming back. Pain in my back is better and tolerable. Each run I run the second mile a minute faster than the first then just run what feels good for the rest of the run.

very tired today.

Yea! I ran well this morning. It felt great. BUT, I did have to ice my back off and on all morning this morning. I gradually deep cleaning every room in my house. I also washed a bunch of windows today. I think more about 2/3 of the windows in my house. I got a new, natural cleaner. It is amazing how easy it is to wash windows when you have a great cleaning solution. It went unbelievably fast!

Well, I ran a 5K this morning. Not a race though. I ran really slow just as Sasha suggested, however, I ran further than he suggested for next week (see discussion forum training review requests - running/working in hot weather). It was painfully slow. He suggested 12 min miles. When I started I wasn't sure I could run that slow and not be nine months pregnant (I ran ten faster than that a couple of weeks before Bubbles was born). Eventually, I ran slow enough. I one point I was running 12:15 miles! I worked all day in the sun and got home at 10pm. I drank around 130 oz and ate bananas, carrots, nectarines and other things. I didn't get as dehydrated as last week. Thanks for the suggestion Sasha!

I have found that if I don't write a comment here, it doesn't show up on my blog!

It is hot.

I've been having very good runs on Saturday mornings for two weeks now. Even though my shoulders are so tight from stress from work that I cannot even lift Bubbles without wincing, I ran well this morning. I had a meeting with my boss (for whom I have a minimum amount of high regard) on Thursday, and my trapezious muscles have been tight ever since. The retribution from my four years of reporting the actions of my stalker (harrasser, sabatour, slanderer etc) and the stalker's recent ouster is coming fast and furious. I sat through this excrutiating meeting on Thursday for my yearly evaluation. He tells me that typically, a faculty member has 1-3 pubs per year in our department and starts quizing me on when my current work will be published as if I have fallen short of the mark (he says this). The document (my review) he has in front of him shows that I have SEVEN peer-reviewed pubs including two book chapters from the past year. I also have two documents that are waiting his approval (since last fall) before I can send them out for peer review. I brought one with me to show him. He plays dumb as if he's never seen these things. However, he can't get away with this because I sent them to him through email. This is just a small picture of his ridiculous actions and statements. He continually piles as much work on me as he can even though I am one of the most productive people in his department.

Five words describe what he does: Over manage and under lead. He is ridiculous. My lawyer is going to have a field day with him and his cronies.

I may start writing more about my case if I think it will help me deal with the stress. Stay tuned.

I get a goose egg today. Major headache and stiff neck. I should have ran but I couldn't make myself.

Ran and Cried

The theme for tonight's run was run and cry, run and cry and run some more. My headache is horrible -- borderline migraine. My neck is stiff, and I know why. Tonight I went out to "trot around" as I tell Honey. I thought I wouldn't make a mile. My head was hurting so bad I started to cry about 3/4 of a mile into the run. Then I realized I wasn't crying because of physical pain, but all this emotional pain this stalking experience has inflicted on me. My head started feeling better about mile 3, but now is hurting again just like before. 

I am so MAD. I am mad that the University didn't protect me when I reported the major events of this four year episode. I am mad that they told me it was me, not him. I am mad that I have allowed this to affect many areas of my life including running. I am mad that there is now retribution being inflicted on me for reporting him and for finally getting a lawyer to make them do something, and they don't seem to see it or care. I am so MAD.

I also have a new name for the perpetrator. I have referred to him as a Yoyo or a Yahoo or the perpetrator in order to keep myself from being too negative. This, I realized while I was running tonight is called DENIAL. He is a MONSTER.

He is not the Elmo and Cookie Monster kinds of monsters I am surrounded by when I am with Bubbles (she loves Sesame Street characters, but she's never seen the show as we don't turn on the TV). BTW, she is totally in love with THE COUNT! She loved him in a picture book we had for her; then I downloaded some short vinettes from Youtube. Now she walks by my computer and says AH HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAA! And we count everything... yeah, she's 17 months old and doesn't know it. She also knows her right from her left and other strange things. That kind of scares me because I want her to be a kid, but she is so smart. The day care is talking about moving her in with the 2 and 3 year olds. She's already in there part of the day. I want her to be a kid and have fun.

So I am mad at this sick, sick monster who has pervaded my life. I am thinking of taking a leave of absence from my job to get my head together so I can be healthy again.

So I ran 5 miles tonight. I didn't do it on purpose, since I am trying to come back slowly from my injury. I just ran and ran. I could have run 10 but I want to be able to run tomorrow morning. I think I will feel better emotionally when I can run more miles. Running is good for my soul.

Early and easy.

Ok, I have a question for you experienced parents. As you know, I have a 17.5 month old who I call Bubbles. Honey and I were eating dinner with Bubbles the other night and we had brocolli among other things. Bubbles kept saying "flowers" when she would pick up the brocolli to eat it. She points out flowers all day long, so we thought nothing of it especially since brocolli is flowers. She points out real flowers, fake flowers, and picture of flowers. Sometimes, she also points to plants that have no flowers and says "flowers" and sometimes we correct her and say "No, those are plants." Other times she says, "plants." So today we had carrots, snap peas, rice and sliced beef with oranges. She kept pointing to the carrots and snap peas and saying "flowers." We said, "well the peas come from flowers (they are technically a fruit with seeds) and the carrot is a root of a plant." We asked her if the beef was a flower and she shook her head "no." We asked about the rice and got the same gesture. Rice is seed, and she doesn't appear to know that comes from a plant. We can't figure out how she knows the vegetables are plants. We asked the people at her daycare. They don't know either. The two and three year old teacher has her for part of the day and says they have vegetables on flash cards, but they just go over the names of them. She can't figure it out either - she has her theories. How in the world does she know what she is eating is plants? Nothing she eats looks like anything in our yard. We buy it all at the grocery store.

Good steady run at medium pace. My neck and head are still killing me.

EEOC called me today to further their investigation into my case. It was a 20 minute conversation that I wasn't exactly prepared for even though I have been trying to mentally prepare for it for nearly six months. Yes, that is how long ago I filled with them and the Louisiana Commission on Human Rights. The lady I talked to really let me know she knew what the laws were and how to interpret them. I am sure she does. I know I don't. It is terribly confusing since my complaint with the LCHR and EEOC is such as small part of my case. The phone conversation ended with her telling me she needed to consult their lawyer to further understand what they (the EEOC) needed to do.

Well, she got it. She figured out how complicated it is. She was supposed to be unbiased but I could tell she was mortified about the little bit I did get to tell her. Her interest was sure peaked when I told her that he was gone from the position as of 29 February 2008. She was quite interested to know that I was notified of this about two weeks after my lawyer sent the first letter requesting a meeting with the Chancellor to amicably solve this.

All the EEOC is likely to do is issue me a right to sue in federal court. And, we can use their documentation of their investigation for my case. If they don't issue me a right to sue, we sue in state court. The main goal of the lawsuit is to stop the retribution from my reporting the Monster's behavior and also to set into place some protocol so that this doesn't happen to someone else. Also, I need to tell my story. The secrecy the University demands allows this type of behavior to continue. Stay tuned....

Ran easy late.

Struggled through this one. Very dehydrated from last night still.