Believe to Achieve

TM at the pg rec at 550am.  Since I will be running outdoors the next two mornings before work in about 25 degree weather I opted for indoors today.  Foot acting up OUT OF THE BLUE again.  My lower back HAS been in a lot of pain so I am beginning to think this foot pain is related to my back--- disc problem.  The pain takes my breath away.  It almost feels like I wouldn't be able to move and then it improves and I can walk.  Who knows what the heck is wrong with me.  I am one big whiner with joint and muscle pains.  But this run felt quite easy.  Ran 7 miles then rezeroed the TM to get the last 3 miles in.  First 7 in 57:10 (8:10 AP).  Last three in 22:08 (7:23 AP).  First mile 9:01 AP.  Then just picked up the pace by .1 percent every half mile.  All felt easy.  So very glad about that.  Drove home.  Did 2 x 20 pushups.  Wrists not liking all the pushups so have to scale back.  Told you my joints are having issues.  Finished with upper body and some planks, abs.  AP for all 10 miles = 7:56.

ran in the cold morning at 430am before work.  BUT  80s PULLOVER saved the day.  Felt nice and cozy and began to get pretty sweaty for a few miles then that froze so it never got too bad.  Went to work all day and had terrible nerve pains in my back and down my legs.  Getting ridiculous.  INSANE.  I am wondering how much longer I can MENTALLY take this on with out freaking out.  Went to Relief Society social and that was nice but I was so very tired and the pain was intense I had to take a pain pill.  Have had those sitting in my closet since my brain surgery in 2004.  Worked slightly but more than anything made me loopy and tired.  Went to bed at 930am.  AP 8:28. 

the pill yesterday kind of dragged on until morning but got out there nonetheless in my pullover again.  Warmer this morning (still cold mind you).  AP 8:21.  Worked all day.  EVERY LAST FRAGRANCE BURNS my face and ear nerves on my left side of my face.  My ear feels like it is under water but really it is just my nerves there feeling numbish and then pulsating burning pain ( I had a Dr. look in my ear certain it was full of fluid).  I am not sure how much longer I can take this.  I am not happy about returning to my neurolgist and do all the followup MRIs I have been ignoring.  I like the idea that it allergy related rather than some disease affecting my brain.  Or the malformation surgery repair I had coming undone.  That would be tragic.  I know I sound so ridiculous talking on about my ailments...but this is my journal....so I honestly just hope someday (and maybe that day is when I am dead), I will have answers.  I am at a loss trying to figure out this neurological disease.   Sometimes I would like to let someone feel what I feel all day long and then have them tell me what the heck they think it is and whether I am just perfectly fine to complain about these burning pains.  Is there no balm in Gilead?  I feel despondent in my complaints...sad.  I fought this fight four or five years ago....why again??????   I am just depressed because of the pain (and not the reverse).  

wow.  fourteen miles?  my longest run since sgm.  this was unplanned for today.  was going to happen tomorrow.  but i found myself far from home....again.  wind was brutal at times.  was thinking of stopping completely at walmart in cedar hills and calling my husband-- the10 mile mark and what i was really going to run.  but i weathered the long run storm and got it done.  mentally and physically out of shape.  left hip burning with some pain.  my left ear still slightly full of air feeling.  really hope i am surfacing soon.  trying to find good in the majority of the things i do.  really need a diet makeover.  but not a wicked fight i want to work hard against this season.  january 1st sounds good as that is also when i am getting tested for all my allergies.  i want to put the expense towards deductible next year since it is december.  so four weeks before actively weeding out my diet of the problem foods.  AP today 8:11 for 14 miles.  my abdomen was bright red when i got back.  eeks.  and this was a 930am run. 

6 miles @ 1% incline-- 8:41, 8:27, 8:13, 8:00, 7:47, 7:35.  Then off TM to stretch.  Back on (took 15 seconds to get TM to 6:58 pace) 1% incline TM to run 1/2 mile at 6:58, 1/2 mile at 6:49 x 3 then the last mile  with  1/4 mile laps at 6:58, 6:53,  6:49, 6:44  but increasing every few second to end at 6:00 pace.  AP for last four mile 6:53 with which includes the time for the TM to get up to speed.  1/2 mile CD at 8:20 AP.  Foot Dr. appt (finally) today.  PF hurt throughout the run except the speed.  Best that it acts up the day I go to the Dr.  It will be interesting to hear what he has to say.  BTW-- if you haven't already read AmberG's latest post (I think) on building ourselves and others.  So well put.  Have a great day everyone!! : D.   AP for all 10.5 miles = 7:38.  Later, about an 1 1/2 hours later before showering-- stretched and did 50 pushups-- 5 by 10 (guy kind). First did cheating kind for 10.  Felt ridicuolous.

Couldn't sleep,  SOOOOOO  13 miles at 3:38 AM before work in the wind chill but really not cold at after drinking a warm glass of water and eating a part of a banana before heading out.  OH   and I must not forget the POWER of my 80s PULLOVER.   Saves the day everytime.  Had to take off at mile 1.5 then back on at mile 6 then back off at mile 8.  With it tied around my waist it keeps my abdomen from turning bright red!!  Too bad for my chest.  AP felt extremely easy, so very glad.  13 miles at 8:11.  First mile 9:01.  Last mile 7:40.  Really enjoyed my solitude running looking at Christmas lights along the way and dodging snow drifts.  Ran all around my town venturing wherever.  : D.