Believe to Achieve

I feel like I have aged like five years since SGM.  Seriously where is my stamina?  I think I am going to get checked for mono.  I am constantly achy all over after runs etc...and after working all day I am completely BEYOND wiped out.  Today was a day when  I felt completely dimineralized-- chronic pains everywhere, wrists, knee caps, joints everywhere-- my feet were painful all over.  Burning pain, bubble wrap ready to burst.  So I had my husband gently massage me.  But we had a very exciting busy day-- my brother in law returned from his mission to Zimbabwe, he even extended it 6 weeks.  He served well and fought home sickness the first few months and ended up having the greatest experience of his life.  His homecoming talk was so wonderful.  I even cried.  He said "I cried hard when I left (home, Utah) and the funny thing was I cried hard when I left Zimbabwe".  He came back a greater man than when he left.  He loved the people he served and you could feel it.  It is so wonderful to have him back but he is going through quite the adjustment-- only back now for 13 days.  Off to BYU Idaho in January.  That will get him going : D.  We had his Homecoming Dinner at our house.  Luckily dinner was made for us -- Cafe Rio style food made by his Aunt.  Actually BETTER than cafe rio.  Yum. 

I managed to sleep a little better last night.  The festivities yesterday consumed our day.  But it was worth it.  But I was wiped out and my body was falling apart.  The sleep was necessary.  I think I got 8.5 hours  :D.  Got up and ran 8 miles in the chilly air.  Went really slow because my body is trying to break down.  I didn't want to freak it out.  Just eazing into the run.  First mile pace 9:28.  Ahhhhh that's the ticket.  Second mile over 9 as well and I was feeling so much better.  My body slowly came alive and I just kept my pace in hide mode.  There is no need to push pace against the garmin when your body says no.  It makes all the difference in the world.  Wore my old mizunos.  Really got to get out today and buy the Altras (zero drop shoes).  I started to wear the mizunos I wore for SGM that messed up my foot and lo and behold the problem is back FULL force with my PF.  Luckily I have an appt. Wednesday.  AP today 8:42 for 8 miles.  So lovely.  That's what I needed..  Then I did 86 pushups according to the schedule with 60-80 second break in between except the last set I rested about three minutes gearing up for the finish.  I was spent by the third set so I needed all the rest I could get.  Sets were 17/19/15/15/20.  I actually could only get in 18 for the last set then in 30 seconds I finished the last two.  PUSH UPS are SO HARD.  I look like incredible HULK these days.  Don't think I like this look on me.  My shirts are fitting tighter around the chest!!  What's that all about?????????  Did the rest of my arm workout.  I skipped them last week due to fatigue but this week I thought I would start it again.  2 sets of 10-12 reps each exercise. 

NOTHING     something is going wrong with my body.  after doing nothing yesterday but the little 8 mile run then the pushups I did some cleaning then drove to my daughter to soccer at 5pm.  I went into the runner's corner and tried on Altras and bought a pair.  Ran on them for only 10 feet.  Need to break them in.  So put my comfy trail shoes back on and headed out the door to go get my daughter.  When I took my shoes off at home my left big toe was in so much pain that in an hours time I could not walk on it.  The joint had swelled to double the size and became slightly reddened.  It felt extremely tight.  I had to limp everywhere.  Eventually I just laid in bed.  It came to my mind that this had happened to me about five years ago and I swore my foot was broken.  I was at work so I got an xray.  Not broken but the radiologist felt it was gout.  So....on that thought I realized that was EXACTLY what was going on.  I read up on purine foods and I had just about everyone on the list for several days.  Not only that other joints were ailing me all day Sunday.  I felt like crap.  Even Thursday I had the biggest bought of fatigue I could hardly move....so I am left to thinking I have some AUTOIMMUNE problem going on.   Gout happens either if your body can't process the increased amount of purine foods taken in(proteins, like meats, lentils) or the kidneys are not able to break them down for some reason.  It took over a day for the pain and swelling in the joint to go down.  For while I could barely lift my big toe off the ground when my foot was flat on the ground.  I kept drinking lots of water and avoiding the trigger foods.  So basically there was no way  I could possibly run on my foot.  

Woke just before 5am.  Had to drive to Provo for work so only ran a short run plus my body is rebelling so much I decided three miles is all it can handle today.  AP 8:48.  Joint pain better but right foot PF is back with a vengeance.  Actually it kind of feels like the gout did in my big toe.  I am apparently falling apart.  Depression setting in.  I can't figure out what is wrong with me.  I felt so fatigued all day today.  My eyes keep burning with fatigue. 

This fatigue and joint pain is getting ABSOLUTELY ridiculous!!!  I so need a nap even after sleeping 8 hours last night.  I ran at 6:42am.  It was cold and my feet hurt all over at first.  Must be the Altras I have been wearing to work the past two days to work them in.  They are zero shoes.  So when I put on my mizunos this morning I felt so "high" on my heels.  My first mile was at all I  could muster for sanity---9:38!!!  Creaking some more ....somehow my last mile was a 7:48.  The air was thick and so was my body.  AP 8:27.  What has come over me?

540am run on the TM at the pg rec.  Goal to run 12 if possible as easy as pie.  No going overboard.  Wore my Altras for their first "test run" after wearing them for two 12 hour shifts.  Started out at 9:38 pace for a 1/2 mile then gradually, ever so gradually increasing the pace by .1 every 1/2 to 1 mile.  No rush.  Ahhhhhhh felt so good to run soooooooo easy.  Especially with 0 % incline.  YUP zero incline with ZEROed running shoes.  Don't want to completely freak out my already freaked out legs and feet and spine.  But this easy pace was like a holiday for me.  I felt alive again.  Because the pace was so easy for me my body was "on top of" the front bar.  I looked around and all the other runners were trying to "catch up" to the bar.  I was always touching it with my waist.   Ran first 6.7 miles at AP of 8:57.  See how wonderful?  And the zero shoes felt good on my feet except for some minor "tightness" around my foot.  I can't figure my right foot out.  It seems to be thicker than my left that shoes fit tighter on it.  blah.  Anyway....was planning on running the rest just as easy.  Had to ZERO the TM because it automatically stops at 60 minutes.  So that is why 6.7 miles for 60 minutes.  Stretched then started up again at the same mph I was at which was 6.9 or 8:41 pace.  So loving this vacation pace at 0 percent.  Well of course easy is just not normal enough for me so in a moment I changed my mind and ran the last four miles under 7mm.  So 6:58, 6:58, 6:53, 6:41.    Then ran .45 mile cool down at 8 pace and briefly faster.  Drove home and finished up with 100 push ups---  10 x 10 in PERFECT form.  More than ten and my form dwindles so I took breaks in between to get to my 100 but I did it.  Can feel my middle back saying "what in the heck did you do?".  Did them all barefoot!!  : D.  Off to see BREAKING DAWN at 11am with Troy, then out for lunch  :D : D. 

slow miles in the frozen ice tundra.  Actually, black ice so cautiously ran in the Altras wondering if they had enough traction and not willing to risk it by running quicker.  Plus it was cold and snow blowing in the wind.  Not nice.  but you know I am still feeling pretty lousy.  had a  doozy of an atypical migraine---intense migraine down my right arm, right rib cage and down my leg ending at the bottom of my foot (starting at the top of my head).  BURNING pain.  My rib cage and upper forearm by my elbow feels like somebody kicked them  really hard.  But not a  bruise  is seen.  NERVES.  burning.  painful.  not sure why this happens but seems to be cyclical and following a neuropathway.  Bummer. My feel HURT all the time too.  Geez.  It makes me feel old and I wonder if I will ever feel well again.    9:15 AP for 6.  I feel like I am going backwards in time.  Four years ago I had attacks like these every day for a year.  I so don't want to follow that strict diet again to avoid all the allergens.  My dr. wants me to get an allergy test done that will test me for over 300 allergens (chemicals, foods/colorings/ viruses etc).  She thinks that is what is causing my joint pain attacks and headaches.  Probably.  Just don't want to pay out 352 dollars.  But I do have a health savings account.  I just want to be normal.