Believe to Achieve

Speedwork day.  Yesterday after work I slept only three hours again.  I even made to church for all the meetings at 1pm yesterday.  No headache.  Didn't fall alseep until midnight.  Ridiculous.  Plan today run 3 x (2 x 0.75 mile, RI 2 minutes) repeats, 4 minute RI between sets.  I ran three miles to the PG rec center (8:40 avg pace).  I was going to run on their track outdoors but it still is too strong for me ( the new rubber track, gross).  So I ran the TM.  Should have gone to the AF track, so much nicer!!  The TM shook like mad but got it done.   Goal was 6:15 pace.  Here is how it went after a 1 mile warmup on the mill:  6:18, 6:18, 6:15, 6:15, 6:18, 6:13.  Not quite to my goal but this workout was hard for me with the mill shaking and the perfumed air.  Not too mention being out of shape for this pace, obviously hitting max VO2, not sure how to tell but I felt almost nauseated.  Form pathetic the last few as my shoes were way loose and my feet were moving all around in them.  They are still my 3 year old shoes.  You would laugh if you saw pictures of them.  But hey, no injuries : D.    4 mile cooldown to my house @ 8:38 avg pace.

Since my 445 am  20 mile run Friday morning I have slept only 16 hours (avg 4 hours a day, during the day, mainly) including todays three hours.  I knew I should just kick back and rest because somehow someway I am going to get that sleepin' feeling.  You see I haven't been tired, more hyper.  Almost ADHD.  That's why some ADHD people improve when they get on a schedule with good sleeping.  I am not ADHD just sleep deprived.  But I am functioning better than I ever had with little sleep unless I have an impending 1/2 marathon to "conquer".  So.... I broke down and took a higher dose of a antianxiety pill I rarely take and "voila" I slept another 3 1/2 hours this afternoon.  Alleluyah!!  Skipped on running.  Did the mommy carpool kids to dance thing and make dinner.  Not sure of my plan Saturday other than start out easy as to not "zap" my adrenaline and gain on myself over the course.  Kinda wish I was running Antelope instead, an endurance run works better for me.  But I need to help my speed for Ogden.  Goal there is probably 3:15.  Plan to run a brief tempo with total miles at 10 tomorrow.  Busy day with Visiting Teaching, Orthodontist, and work again for two in a row.  Miles this week will dwindle as I better conserve or be roadkill at the race.  ALSO forgot to mention that I started doing upper body work (its been over 8 years) Saturday night at work.  I brought 3 pound weights there and took 15 minutes to work the arms.  I knew I had to start with the arms as after I ran the other day I was doing "air lift" weights with my arms (no weight except body) and my muscles were burning.  I talked to Kim and she told me to do some guy pushups.  She could only do 10 at first and now can do over 30.  I took the guy pushup test and sadly could ONLY DO 2,  that's right 2, very wimpy!!  I then did 10 girl ones.  Since Saturday, and especially at Monday's SW on the Mill my arms were  sooooo sore.  Pretty funny and pathetic considering they were ONLY 3 pound weights.  So, I am going to get serious now and work on my upper body and core.  Perhaps this will help my form and improve my speed?  Time will tell.  Did a brief arm work out last night at work, same weights and could do 3 boy pushups before bed this morning followed by 10 girls and then 3 boy then 10 girls.  Maybe it has to do with sleep deprivation and muscle power.  This post is getting too long.  END.

I tried to surprise the women again that were leaving at 5 am as I couldn't sleep past 4am.  However this time I was wasted as I left the door.  "Hang over" from the medication yesterday.  Basically I must have missed them as I got there at 5:06 per garmin and no one was around.  I kept on running not waiting around as I saw Jane's truck and they always stay outside.  I thought maybe I would find them and I was a little leary of running in the lonely scary darkness alone.  I kept coming up with runaway plans if I was approached.  Not a fun way to run.  Woke up around mile 3 but still not feelin' it for MP.  The darkness played with my eyes and footing so my pace felt harder than usual.  Most like due to dark, cold, lack of sleep, loneliness and fatigue....but even though I told myself to quit I ran the three MP miles--7:12, 7:15, 7:12.    This pace felt so easy about a week and 1/2 ago when I slept a good 10 hours before.  Here's hoping for some good Zzzzzsss but if not I plan to take my 1/2 marathon pace down to about a 7:30.   Work tonight for two in a row.   No more upper body until after the race.  Busy day.  Soccer practice starts today just after piano, and my littlest has dance, soccer tomorrow.  All splits: 9:14, 8:43,  8:31,  8:07, 7:12,  7:15, 7:12, 8:12, 8:02, 7:39. AP 8:01 for 10 miles.

415pm windy run here and there and everywhere.  Took the farm road up to Cedar Hills after varying loops in PG.  Garmin died the first .22 miles.  I had just charged it but I must have left it on the whole time.  Don't they shut off automatically if you don't press "start"?  Well that left me to my own judgement for 5.5 miles to make 30 even so far this week.  I felt like I was trotting literally.  I was soooooooo nauseated from lack of sleep and varying eating times that I just wanted to make this as easy as possible so "trotted".  The last mile I must have picked it up quite a bit because I gained on my neighbors over 1/4 mile away quite quickly.  Pace is off starting garmin time and ending verizon wireless time.  I am assuming they are using the same satellites for time.  As for distance it was back to course tooling, my old friend :D.  Avg pace 8:45.  So nice, so relaxing.  I went over so that's a bonus, to 6.75 miles.

Got off work at 630am and walked to my car.....De ja Vu...high winds and a bit of snow, for real?  If it is like this for tomorrow's race I draw the line.  I will just drive up and get my shirt and turn around to my house.  NO WAY am I racing in pelting snow.  I don't have it in me.  I am sooooo wimpy right now, my fight is stagnant.  You see after all these nights in a row the exponential affect gives me a serious confidence wipe out.  BUT NO WORRIES I AM sure the REAL JULIE will step forward come 6am tomorrow and prove to herself she is NOT a quitter and somehow plant her feet at that starting line, come HAIL or TORNADO.    JULIE #2 , the imposter, forgot one thing,  JULIE #1 knows where she (doesn't) sleeps!!   Obviously no workout today, all energy consumed in a ball, hopefully rolling into a larger and larger one as I count the hours down to the moment of truth, true story : D.  I am not even sure any of this made sense.  Oh well.

I DID IT AND I TOOK IT EASY,  at a controlled pace.  I call this 1/2 marathon my sleep deprivation pace run.  I had a plan that I mostly followed.  I was going to make it a progressive run and vary it with the all the hills I would encounter (4 good ones, apparently).  But  instead I kept it even for most of the run not pushing it.  I did have to slow myself down at the beginning when I saw my garmin read 6:59.  So I did.  I ran a smart race for me considering my sleep deprivation.  It was important to not go out fast and burn the minimal adrenaline I had.  Check, check.  Second, I just didn't want to make it hurt.  I didn't want to feel winded.  I wanted to be in control.  Check, check.  Third, I wanted to be first master.  Check, check.  Forth, I wanted to sprint to the finish line the last  .1 miles even if my limbs felt like they would fall off.    Check, check.  So here are my splits.  Looking at them I was pretty happy.  They were pretty much even except at the four hills.  I gave myself allowance for these.  I didn't want to get my heartrate too up there and have a race "panic attack".  I was on no reserve and mentally couldn't do that to myself.  The play by play:

Warmup for 3.5 miles very easy pace.  (8:58)

1-  7:24  Not sure how many women in front.  Probably a handful.   I was going to take it easy.  It felt really nice.

2- 7:25  Still so nice.  I asked some spectators how many women were in front.  Someone said five or six.  Okay then.

3- 7:05  Ahead of where I wanted to be but it felt okay and the hill was coming up so I better store up some seconds.

4-  7:37  The hill.  I was trotting up it.  No need to waste energy, although I did talk to a guy I passed on the way up.  Actually  I passed several guys the past few miles.  I never got passed the whole race.  That was nice.

5-  7:19  Going by the starting line.   I threw my headband to a spectator that answered my question if anyone could take it to the finish line.  Thanks : D.   I took my gloves off at mile three and put them in my tights around my waist.

6-  7:17  Nice downhill then 1/2 mile on dirt.  Some tire treading to avoid but totally not a problem.

7-  7:20

8-7:20  Another hill.  Crept up it.  Moved legs in short strides. Passed two girls just after this.  Was worried it may have been too soon but they looked beat.

9-7:22  There's that marathon pace again.  It sounds strange that my half marathon pace is my marathon pace but by Ogden I will have had three nights off to sleep and 7 more weeks of training.  So I definitely think it is doable.  This pace felt nice and the course is not an easy one.

10-  7:24  Big  uphill  portion here and I had just passed who I thought was women number three based off spectators and two guys who also confirmed this. 

11- 7:42  An unexpected hill. This was a slight mental block for me.  I looked ahead and saw it and was hoping the guy climbing it ahead of me was deleriously running off the course.  To no avail.  I had to run up it.  Dang. 

12-  7:32  Recovery mile and it is a steady up hill.  Not big but just consistently inclining over the entire mile.  So close to the finish I could taste it.  Time to get it in gear already, Julie, this is a race.  I blasted my tunes in my ear loud enough to wake myself out of my dream pace to finish a bit stronger.

13-   7:03. 

.1-  6:10 pace  (max hit 5:36 at this portion).  This is what I envisioned or rather said to myself  as I thought of actually sprinting to the finish line.  It is a line from the movie New Moon.  Jane says to Bella just before she is about to try to "hurt" her with her mind:  "This might hurt a bit" as she makes an evil smile.  Yup that's what I said and that's exactly what it felt like, but only for a bit : DDDD.    I bore down with all my strength and tucked my arms close to my sides and booked them forward and back passing one guy along the way and almost getting to pass a second one.  It felt great to finish strong.  It felt great to be done. 

2.5 mile cooldown at a very easy pace talking on my cell phone to Melanie (9:12) going backward on the course, coming back to the finish line in a square. Total miles 19.1 @ 7:54 pace.  Those six other miles were real easy, so average pace nothing to speak of.  Worth the relaxing miles though.  It made the pace run that more enjoyable.  The rest of my day consisted of watching three soccer games and trying to get in some nutritious food.  Sleeping tonight will be a welcome treat.  Alleluyah!!!  PS I was really forth overall.  Someone counted wrong.  Had I known I may have tried to catch the girl I got a glimse of in front of me, but probably not.  I didn't want to hurt and only the last .1 miles hurt.  YAY!!